15 Desperate Signs The Ex Is Still Interested
Relationships are complicated little things and while everybody is searching for their “right one”, on the way to finding your perfect match, you will probably get involved with a few not so perfect boyfriends/girlfriends and at some point, you will realize that the best thing to do would be to break up with them. More often than not, breakups are not a pleasant thing to go through and it is often quite unpredictable how the other person will react and what your post-breakup relationship will be like. Some people manage to stay friends with their exes, some choose to avoid each other, and sometimes, one half of a couple remains in love with the other even after they part ways.
Sometimes, moving on after a breakup is really hard because you need to be prepared to do the whole thing all over again. At times like that, it can be tempting to get back together, especially after you get so used to someone being always there for you. Or maybe you don’t feel that way at all but you suspect your ex does and you want to know for sure before taking any further steps. Since you can’t read your ex’s mind, here are 15 signs the ex is still interested!
15. They Avoid Dating Other People
If your ex is still interested in you, there is a big chance they will avoid dating other people or they will do it secretly for quite a while after the breakup.They want you to know they are still single and available in case you change your mind about the breakup. Of course, different people need a different amount of time to get over a relationship and start dating again, but if they avoid dating for a really long time, there is a chance they are simply not ready to give up on your relationship just yet. If they are, at the same time, particularly curious about your dating life, they probably just want to know whom they are up against. They might not ask you about your love life, but they will definitely ask some of your friends sooner or later.
14. Awkward Calls
Awkward calls and especially drunk dialing are a pretty common thing after a breakup if one person still has the feelings for the other. They just can’t help it. There is a reason why a person should never use their phone while being drunk – their inhibitions are lowered and they will do all sorts of stupid things they wouldn’t do sober and yes, drunk dialing is definitely one of them. However, there are other kinds of awkward calls that are a good sign your ex is still into you. For example, they call and hang up or they call just to check up on you and then don’t know what to say. If they are looking for any possible excuse to contact you, they are not ready to let go.
13. They Keep Reminding You Of The Good Times
Bringing up old memories and reminding you of the good times you had together is just one of the ways for your ex to show you that they miss you and they miss all the fun you two had together. Of course, reminiscing is pretty normal if you see your ex for the first time after 20 years, but if they keep talking about the time you spent together shortly after the breakup, they probably really want to get back together. If this happens on one isolated occasion, then it’s probably just a moment of weakness, but if your ex constantly tries to point out how great you two were together, they are not doing that by accident. It is a pretty good tactic for them to make you miss them as much as they miss you.
12. They Are Trying To Make You Jealous
If your ex gets all competitive with you, they simply care too much to let go. If they post stuff on social media specifically to push your buttons, if they are going out of their way to let you know there is someone new in their life, if their behavior gets unusually flirtatious when you are around them – well, congratulations! Your ex is still very much interested in you!If you don’t care about somebody anymore, you don’t care whether they know if you are dating other people or not, you don’t care if they are jealous…You just don’t care! So if that is not the case with your ex, it is pretty much a safe bet to say they want you back in their life (and they are a bit immature).
11. Push&Pull Behavior
If your ex is all hot for you one moment and then completely cold the next one, they just don’t know how to handle the fact that they are still interested in you. They will push to spend as much time with you as possible and then, out of nowhere, they will pull away and you won’t hear from them for weeks. Those pull away moments are often accompanied by sudden bursts of anger even in there is absolutely no reason for them to be angry at you. Once they cool off, they will push back again and probably apologize over and over again for their behavior. It will form a circle of push and pull behavior that is one of the best signs that your ex is still not ready to let you go.
10. Extremely Negative Emotions For You
We know that the real opposite of love isn’t hate – it is indifference. Indifference shows that you really don’t care about someone at all. On the other hand, if your ex is harboring some pretty negative emotions for you after the breakup, it means they are hurt, they didn’t want the relationship to end, they feel disappointed in you, and they are one big hot mess because of you. That all means that they still care for you, it doesn’t always mean they want to get back together. However, they are hurt either because they love you or because you really hurt their ego. One way or the other, you should probably avoid contact with them instead of trying to make things better because you might end up getting their hopes up and hurt them even more.
9. They Make Excuses To See You
If your ex drops by every time they are in the neighbourhood (or not) or if they come by to return some of your things more than once, they simply just wanted to see you. You might also notice that you often run into them in public and while that can be an accident, if it happens suspiciously often, your ex is probably frequently visiting the places they know they might bump into you. For example, you have a book club meeting every Wednesday at the same café and your ex just “accidentally” appears there while you are there even though they never visited that café while you were still together. You might also notice them watching you all the time from the other side of the room. It is kind of creepy but it is a pretty clear sign they are still interested.
8. They Make Sure You Know They Miss You
If your ex says they miss you, they are really not trying to cover the fact they are still very much into you. However, they might not always say it in such an obvious way. For example, they could say some of their friends miss you or their dog misses you or something like that. You don’t have to be a genius to figure out that the phrase “My dog misses you” actually means “I want you back. Please love me again.” So what can you do in situations like that? Well, that all depends on whether you are interested in getting back together or not. If you don’t want to go back to the old ways, you need to find a way to break it down to them gently, but at the same time, you need to make yourself clear enough to avoid rising their false hopes.
7. They Show Repentance
Sometimes, your ex will try to win you back by apologizing for all the mistakes they made in the past. It is never about you forgiving them the things that happened in the past, you have probably forgotten about most of those things anyway, it is about them showing you they are ready to change for the better for you. Basically, it means they want you back and they are ready to work on things that made you break up with them in the first place. Unfortunately, people don’t really change and it isn’t fair of you to expect them to. If you really want to be with someone, you need to accept them the way they are because they can pretend to be someone they are not, but that almost never works in the long run.
6. They Point Out Flaws In The People You Date
If you’ve decided to stay friends with your ex, if they are still interested in you, no one you date after them will ever be good enough and they will make sure to point out all of the little flaws your new partner has. On the other hand, there is a chance they will subtly try to do that even if you chose to avoid each other after the breakup. For example, they might tell some of your friends how bad the new partner is for you, hoping your friends will be the ones to tell you you should break up with them. It is as simple as it gets – they don’t want you dating anyone because they think they still have a shot with you (even if you made it really clear they don’t).
5. They Get All Touchy-Feely
When a person is interested in you, they will try to touch you as much as possible; a hug that lasts those few extra seconds, a gentle stroke from time to time, a soft gaze etc. If your ex still feels the need to get physically closer to you, they still have feelings for you. They might take that to the other lever and try to use what they know about you against you. For example, your ex knows you get all squirmy when they stroke your neck, and the next thing you know, they are “accidentally” doing just that. There is a good chance there will always be some sexual tension between you and your ex-partner, especially if you’ve always had a really good chemistry together. If you want to avoid all that, you should really consider avoiding contact with them.
4. They Stay In Touch With Your Family And Friends
One way for your ex to feel closer to you and to get all the firsthand information about you is to keep in touch with your family and friends. Also, if they have a pretty strong relationship with your family, there is a chance they are counting on your family members to try to persuade you to get back together. It is pretty sneaky but effective since the family has the tendencies to give us all a hard time when it comes to our relationships. Besides that, they don’t have to stalk you to find out what is new with you and especially your love life. They can simply just ask your friends and family all that interests them, pretending there is nothing behind it but a pure curiosity their caring for your wellbeing.
3. They Contact You First
If you haven’t contacted them once since the breakup, but they contact you regularly, that is one of the signs your ex is still interested in getting back together. Also, if you are the first person they contact after something important happens to them, that means you are still the most important person in their life and they want to share all the happy and important moments with you. For example, if they get a promotion at work and you are the first one to know about it, they miss having you around and sharing everything with you. Two people in a relationship are often best friends, among other things, and that part of the relationship can be really hard to let go of. It is one thing to lose your lover, but when you lose your best friend as well, that can take a long time to get over.
2. They Can’t Look You In The Eye
There is a lot you can tell about how a person feels about you just by paying attention to the nonverbal communication. No matter how the relationship ended, if both sides are okay with letting go of each other, it will be way easier to talk to each other in a friendly manner and the eye contact won’t be a problem. However, if your ex has a hard time looking you in the eye, it might be a sign they feel conflicted about how the eye contact makes them feel about you. Eye contact avoidance can be a sign that they don’t want you to know they are still interested in you or that they simply don’t know what to say and how to behave around you. However, it for sure means one thing – they aren’t indifferent.
1. You Continue Physical Intimacy With Them
Continuing physical intimacy with your ex-partner on a regular basis after the break up can be one tricky business and you should really think about whether that is something you want to do. Casual sex between two ex-partners can lead to a whole bunch of mixed emotions both for you and for them. At some point, if you notice they resent you dating other people and having casual sex with them, you should stop doing what you’re doing immediately. While you, on one hand, might be perfectly capable of separating the physical relationship from the emotional part, your ex-partner might be pretending they were fine with that too just to stay close to you. If you notice any kind of jealousy or possessive behavior, you should know your ex still has feelings for you and the casual sex just isn’t working for them.