Some mothers tell their daughters to become doctors or lawyers. My mother told me to become a sugar baby. Okay, I’ll admit, it was a family joke for a time. But if I had decided to enter the sugar baby trade, I’m sure that my mother would’ve been supportive of me. Shockingly enough, I don’t know any sugar babies personally (unless one of my friends is secretly working as one as I type this). I do, however, know some women who have considered becoming sugar babies. The question is: how do you know if becoming a sugar baby is a good fit for you?

Like with any job, I strongly believe that you should do some research as to what the job that you’re considering entails. Becoming a sugar baby is no different. I scoured the internet for advice from actual sugar babies, and found many recommendations and suggestions for aspiring newbies. I’ve narrowed down the list to fifteen dos and don’ts that I feel will benefit potential sugar babies the most. These tips cover everything from the initial meeting with a sugar daddy to maintaining a successful relationship with a sugar daddy. Consider these dos and don’ts carefully before you decide whether becoming a sugar baby is right for you.

15. Do verify your sugar daddies

People love to assume fake identities online, which is why it’s important to do your best to make sure that your sugar daddies are who they say they are. You don’t want to end up on a date with a serial rapist if you can help it. Start with a basic background check. Stalk his social media accounts; do a Google search on him; you know, the usual. You don’t have to hire a private investigator. Just check up on a few key details, like if your sugar daddy’s using his real name or not. It never hurts to be safe.

14. Don’t be shy

The sugar baby business isn’t a business for wallflowers, unless of course your sugar daddy has specifically requested shyness in his sugar baby. Don’t express hesitation when meeting with your sugar daddy. If he detects that you’re even the slightest bit unsure about being his sugar baby, then he’ll choose to start a relationship with a different sugar baby, one who’s surer of herself. You have nothing to lose and lots to gain from being forward with a sugar daddy. That’s what sugar daddies are looking for. So maintain eye contact and state your feelings confidently. Let your flower bloom.

13. Do be honest with yourself about what you’re getting into

Becoming a sugar baby is a serious undertaking. Don’t lie to yourself; don’t try to convince yourself that you’re just a part of a regular online dating service. Being a sugar baby is all about business, not romance. You’re selling yourself or your services for money. When it comes down to it, the sugar baby-sugar daddy relationship is a business transaction. But that doesn’t mean that you won’t meet some interesting people along the way. Stay open-minded; you might live some amazing experiences as a sugar baby that you otherwise wouldn’t have lived. Just don’t develop unrealistic expectations about your relationships with your sugar daddies.

12. Don’t fake it

Just because you can fake an orgasm doesn’t mean that you should. The same thing goes for your feelings for your sugar daddy. Sometimes the chemistry just isn’t there. If you don’t feel a connection with a sugar daddy, or if you can’t imagine ever being attracted to him, then don’t pretend otherwise. A sugar daddy will be able to tell if you aren’t enthused by him, and he’ll likely withdraw his wallet. Try your best to find a sugar daddy who you can be yourself around, not one who feels more like a job and less like a relationship.

11. Do arrange an in-person meeting with your sugar daddy ASAP

Talking over the internet only retains its charm for so long. If you want to move things along with your sugar daddy, and start getting paid, then you have to meet with him in person as soon as possible. Otherwise, you risk losing him to a savvier sugar baby. Once face-to-face, you can determine if a relationship is desirable between the two of you. You might find that there’s no chemistry, or you might find that there is. The longer you delay this meeting, the longer the both of you are wasting your time. Unless, of course, you’re being paid to have an online relationship with your sugar daddy. In that case, carry on.

10. Don’t send nude photos to a sugar daddy

As a rule, you shouldn’t send nude photos to anyone. Not your boyfriend, not your husband, not even your doctor. Once they’ve left the safety of your device (which isn’t that safe to begin with), they’re fair game for anyone to post all over the internet. You especially shouldn’t send nude photos to a sugar daddy, someone who has no emotional ties to you. Sending nude photos to your sugar daddy is like asking to have your naked body plastered all over strangers’ computer screens. You don’t want to unknowingly become a porn star, do you? Fine, don’t listen to me. You’ve been warned.

9. Do look your best when meeting your sugar daddy

Whoever said that looks aren’t everything didn’t work in the sugar baby business. Sugar daddies are paying for a finished product. Don’t get lazy and show up to a date with a sugar daddy in sweatpants. If he wanted that, then he’d get married (or if he’s already married, then he’d have dinner with his wife). Never underestimate the power of physical attractiveness. A good first impression can lead to an increase in funds if you play your cards right, and those cards should include makeup and figure-flattering clothes. Remember, you’re selling yourself to a potential client. The natural look is not the way to go.

8. Don’t get too attached

No one likes a stage five clinger. Keep your emotions in check, or risk inviting pain and heartache into your life. A sugar daddy isn’t a husband; if you’re looking for one, then sign up with e-Harmony. The whole point of being a sugar baby is to enter into a temporary relationship with a sugar daddy, one that’s mutually beneficial. You’ll most likely go through many sugar daddies during your stint as a sugar baby. Don’t stalk them at work, don’t contact them when they don’t want you to, and don’t fall in love with them. You’ll only get hurt if you do.

7. Do be on your guard

The sugar baby business isn’t all fun and games. As a sugar baby, you may find yourself in a vulnerable position. You want to make sure that a sugar daddy isn’t taking advantage of you. Until you’ve developed some trust with your sugar daddy, always meet with him in a public place. A deserted barn in the middle of nowhere isn’t a wise choice for a date. Make sure that you’re getting paid for what you’re offering. Don’t let your sugar daddy get away with IOUs and delayed payments. He’s supposed to be able to afford to pay you what you’ve agreed upon on time.

6. Don’t rely on your sugar daddy for income

The sugar baby business is like any other marketplace: it doesn’t offer a guaranteed source of income. Some months you might have sugar daddies lining up on your doorstep; others might find no sugar daddies in sight. Dry spells do happen, which is why you shouldn’t count on a sugar daddy for income. Remember that your sugar daddy can break up with you at any time, which means that your funds will have dried up. It might be awhile before you find a replacement sugar daddy. Don’t forget that you can break things off with your sugar daddy, too.

5. Do be direct on the first date about expectations and availability

Keeping in mind that the relationship between a sugar daddy and a sugar baby is a business arrangement, the first date is the time to outline your terms and conditions. It’s important to be clear with your sugar daddy about what you expect from him and when you’ll be available to him. Don’t misrepresent your needs or expectations. Otherwise, you leave the door open for misunderstandings. But the first date isn’t all about you. Ask your sugar daddy questions about what he expects from you in return. The most successful relationships are based on a mutual understanding of your respective roles.

4. Don’t waste a sugar daddy’s time

Sugar daddies are typically wealthy men, and wealthy men are very busy. After all, that’s why they’re wealthy. Your sugar daddy may not have much time for a relationship, which is why it’s important to make the most out of your meetings with him. If you come across as an epic time waster, then your sugar daddy may start looking for a replacement sugar baby, one who makes better use of his time. You don’t want to earn a reputation for being unreliable or a tease in the sugar baby business. You’ll get dumped faster than a decomposing rat. Make your time with your sugar daddy count.

3. Do tell your sugar daddy why you need his help

You might feel embarrassed about admitting to your sugar daddy that you need help paying for your tuition, but you shouldn’t be. Generally speaking, it’s a good idea to tell your sugar daddy why you need his money. Many sugar daddies enjoy helping students pay for school; they feel like they’re giving back to their community in some way. If you need money to pay for medical bills for yourself or a family member, then let your sugar daddy know. He might feel proud to spend his money on such a worthy cause. Even if you just want to buy the latest Louis Vuitton bag, it’s important to share your goals with your sugar daddy so that the two of you can come to a mutually beneficial arrangement.

2. Don’t be an ongoing sob story

Yes, be honest with your sugar daddy about why you need his help. At the same time, don’t keep pestering your sugar daddy with your problems. There’s nothing worse than a sugar baby who whines. Sugar daddies aren’t paying you to vent about your problems. If you need someone to listen to your complaints, then make an appointment with a therapist. If you turn your meetings with your sugar daddy into therapy sessions, then he’ll find a new sugar baby to support financially. That’s not an outcome you should be hoping for. Everybody has problems. Don’t be a problem for your sugar daddy.

1. Do assume your sugar daddy will want to sleep with you

This one seems pretty self-evident, but it isn’t to some sugar babies. It should be obvious that a sugar daddy who asks to meet with you is looking to hook up with you. Isn’t that the whole point of the business? Don’t, however, feel obligated to sleep with your sugar daddies. If you feel uncomfortable with a sugar daddy, then remove yourself from the situation. Some sugar daddies aren’t even interested in hooking up. Yes, they exist. I’ve heard of one sugar daddy who was just looking for someone to discuss books with. Just don’t be surprised if your sugar daddy tries to take things to the next level.

Sources: blog.seekingarrangement.com, thoughtcatalog.com