Nothing does more to strengthen the bond between two individuals than a selfie. Sending a new date or longtime love a picture of yourself just says “You’re the one for me!” more than anything else, don’t you think? Nothing says “These lips were made for kissing!” like pursing them together in the beautiful duck-face expression, right?

Do we sound sarcastic?

Well, let’s just say, we have our reasons. Let’s examine the social phenomenon of the selfie. A selfie is a photo of oneself, taken by oneself, on a phone camera. A selfie can be taken using the front-facing camera, or, for the technologically-advanced, using a mirror placed strategically in front of yourself. These photos are then meant to be shared with your friends, family, crush, significant other, or… let’s be honest: social media followers.

A big off-shoot of the selfie is the “sexy selfie.” These selfies are taken to be shared with your intimate ones only. These typically involve the aforementioned duck face, lingerie, nudity, and a series of body-contorting poses.

The sexy selfie is meant to entice a lover to return to you, look forward to time with you, or praise your beauty. Another common option for sexy selfies, often used by celebrities, is to post a particularly racy “sexy selfie” to social media following a break-up. This can elicit a series of comments and positive feedback, like “Body goals!” and “Sexxxy,” and “Come to Dubai.” on Instagram, which are fantastic for one’s bruised ego.

While people post selfies with the best of intentions (for compliments, naturally), they sometimes crash and burn faster than you can add the beloved Valencia filter to your cleavage. Let’s take a look at some of the most epic sexy selfie fails to date!

15. Multi-Tasking Master

I’m not quite sure if this qualifies as a “sexy” selfie, because there’s nothing very sexual or provocative about it. At least… not intentionally. The reason I’m classifying this as a failed sexy selfie attempt is because this woman was clearly so impressed with her looks at this very moment that nothing, and I mean NOTHING, was going to stop her from sharing her utter hotness. While I applaud her confidence and am glad she didn’t feel like she needed to expose nudity in order to take a sexy selfie, I do not applaud the setting. Nobody needs to see how good you look using the toilet. Nobody.

14. She’s with the Band

Oh, there’s no doubt this girl was feeling herself. Hair did. Makeup on fleek. She was feeling footloose and fancy-free. Add in a bestie and you had to know it was time for a selfie! However, the selfie seems to highlight a poorly fitted bandage dress. Her enviable figure is being restricted by the bands of the dress, causing unfortunate spillage that we can only imagine occurred all night long. I really wish I could’ve been a fly on the wall at that party, as moms try to shield their children’s eyes from her cups runneth over! I blame the friend for not setting her straight.

13. Mommy’s Busy

When you send a sexy bikini selfie to someone, you most likely want to evoke feelings of lust, sexual desire, and admiration. This woman took a photo of herself in a lovely pink frilly bikini, in what looks to be a dressing room mirror. While the bikini looks great and I applaud her for not doing the almost-obligatory-duck-face in the photo, she did miss the mark in a major way. Let’s just say having your son face the wall doesn’t exactly evoke feelings of lust, sexual desire, OR admiration. Instead, we feel sorry for the son and concerned about her choice of selfie (obviously).

12. Sundae Funday

Okay, seriously, what is NOT to like about this guy? He’s thin, confident, ready for the beach, and into dessert… I think I found my dream man! Who else is with me? Seriously, though, this guy’s confidence has got to be through the roof. We can only assume he put on a fresh white skull cap, shades with the most bling, and low slung shorts just for this epic sexy selfie moment. Do you think the person he was sending it to is just really, really into chocolate syrup? Let’s hope so. Otherwise, pass the ice cream, because we’ve got ourselves a sundae fun-day indeed.

11. No Protection Necessary

Okay, let’s state the obvious: This is a pregnant sexy selfie. While it may seem counterintuitive that pregnancy would provoke sexual feelings, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. A lot of men actually have fetishes about pregnant women, especially their pregnant bellies. Maybe it’s the peace of mind in knowing that she will not be having their child? I’m really not sure. However, what really needs a moment of pause here is her expression. She is clearly several months pregnant because she has a well-rounded belly on her petite figure. Is this hand-over-the mouth pose supposed to give us the “oops!” vibe I’m getting? “Oops! I’m six months pregnant and sexy,” or, “Oops! This is a fun and cute way for me to tell you we’re having a baby,” or, “Oops! I ate too much at Chipotle again!”

10. Look at this Photograph

“Look at this photograph. Every time I do it makes me laugh,” –Nickelback, Photograph.

Oh, the irony. The sweet, sweet irony. This man, wearing a Nickelback a shirt, was so inspired by his fashion and dashing good looks that he just had to take a selfie. Seriously, again, I adore the confidence. I can say he is the best (and only) person I’ve ever seen wearing a Nickelback t-shirt with pride. While Nickelback is widely considered the worst band of all time, is it possible that the recipient of this sexy snap was the band’s biggest (and only) fan? Or is this backwards-American-Eagle-hat clad lover sorely misguided? Either way, we are truly happy to have seen this photograph. Every time we look, it makes us laugh.

9. Corn-Doggy Style

We’ve all felt like the roommate in this photo at one time in our lives, haven’t we? We just want to eat a corndog before we head out for the night, but our selfish roommate wants us to take her picture because she got a new, sexy dress. “No!” we say, thinking this is the first time we’re actually going to stick up for ourselves and also our corndog is ready, “Take the picture yourself!” Annoyed, but not deterred, our roommate takes our advice and takes a selfie in the sexy dress while we relax and eat our corndog. Let’s just say the rest is history.

8. Forbidden Fruit

Perhaps I’m a sheltered American, but I recognize the green things in the photo as apples. The other brown things, though, I do not recognize at all. With that in mind, let’s just focus on the star of the show here: the unmatching lingerie set. Let’s be honest, this is an elaborate photo shoot. This person clearly laid out a rug with some overstuffed pillows to be able to perfectly pose. Once the scene was set, she had to squeeze into thigh-highs and a thong. Before dumping a crate of fresh produce on her body. You’re telling me that after all this effort, she couldn’t just wear a matching bra and underwear? That’s really what could’ve set this photo off.

7. Just Hangin’ Out

This photo almost left me speechless. Happy to report, though, that I have been able to muster up some words about this after all. This photo really should go in the “Sexy Selfie Fail” hall of fame because it encapsulates several of the most common mistakes affecting sexy-selfie-takers today. Let’s begin with the setting: A bathroom. The bathroom seems to be one of the most common places to take a sexy selfie, probably because it usually has a good mirror and is private. Word of advice if you’re going to take a bathroom selfie, please shut the toilet lid. Up next, let’s discuss the child. This woman is wearing a baby carrier, which I can assume she put on to free her hands for the selfie-taking. Just no. And, the pose? Does this really turn anyone on? Don’t answer that.

6. Woof

As a dog lover, I really like this photo. This sexy selfie had a lot going for it, especially compared to some of the others on this list. The strengths of this sexy selfie include: Sexy outfit, no toilet pictured, no children pictured, no friend pictured, no duck face, no fruit, and no weird body contorting happening. With all of those sexy selfie strengths, why is this a fail? Just take a look at man’s best friend making his presence known in the window back there. Not only is he invading the photo, he is completely stealing the spotlight. His eyes are literally sparkling in the camera lens and he really is showing off his body. Sorry, but your dog stole your thunder!

5. Nana’s Getting Nasty

Grandma’s getting rowdy in this one! In this “sexy selfie fail” classic, we have a scantily clad woman posing in front of her mirror in a bedroom. Pretty standard procedure as far as selfies go. What’s not standard is the risky decision of adding an elderly woman to the photo. I’m assuming this is her grandma, and she thought it would be funny to include her. However, I really prefer an alternate version where these are two lovers and this photo is a memento from their honeymoon. Don’t believe me? Why would her grandma be actively pulling up her shirt? The plot thickens…

4. A Family Affair

From the completely filthy mirror to the bad lighting and dizzying camera angle, this is a pretty standard sexy selfie set-up. However, choosing to forego props (like apples, perhaps?) this woman chose to bring another person into the mix. I’m hoping for everybody’s sake that this is her son and she is sending this photo to her son’s father, but that’s really just so I can sleep peacefully at night without worrying about getting CPS involved. That being said, why is he touching her exposed bum? Is that a flirty thing to do? “He’s touching my bum, now don’t you want to?” No, ma’am, we really don’t.

3. When One Door Closes…

I am so in awe of this woman’s artistic direction, creativity, and athletic ability that I almost don’t want to call this a “fail.” However, if the point of a sexy selfie is to leave the recipient feeling aroused, I’m pretty sure this falls flat. Wearing tight light-colored pants and a skimpy bra is a pretty classy way to go in terms of the modern sexy selfie. However, a good outfit is not enough for this selfie master. “How can I show my butt?” she thought, trying different angles. “Ugh, this mirror is cutting my legs off in the pic!” So, she sought out to find the one solo position that showed off both her butt and her long legs. Winner, winner, closet sinner. Props for the closet organization, too, boo!

2. B-A-N-A-N-A-S

What, you thought apple girl was going to be our only fruit-themed entry on this list? Shame on you! Fruit is actually one of the greatest supporting roles in sexy selfie history. While apples are, perhaps, less conventional, has there ever been a more sexualized fruit than a banana? We think not. This guy is so into his own banana, he decided to memorialize it with its very own shoot. I absolutely adore a great sexy fruit theme, but two things really set this one over the top: 1. He is eating a banana. Talk about a hot innuendo for the photo recipient! 2. He is giving straight Kate-Winslet-paint-me-in-Titanic-realness with that facial expression. 10/10.

1. That’s What Friends are For

No shame in this girl’s game! Looks like this is a public bathroom, so let’s go ahead and paint a picture here: Two young ladies get all dolled up in some sexy outfits and hit the town. While at the bar, one says to another “I have to pee, do you?” “No, but I’ll go with you!” the friend says, pretending to be unselfish. Then, in the bathroom, the protagonist goes to take a pee, casually leaving the door open because perhaps that last martini hit a little too hard. Unfazed by her friend’s casualty, the friend uses this precious quiet time to document her sexy outfit on a fun night out. The rest, of course, is sexy selfie fail history.