So, here’s the situation, you’ve been single for a while but haven’t yet felt ready to go out and meet someone new. Your friends keep telling you that you need to ‘get back out there’ and that there is someone out there who is right for you, you’ve just got to find them. They set you up with someone they know and convince you it’s a good idea to take the first steps to finding someone new by going on a date. ‘What’s the worst that could happen?’ You think about this as you step foot inside the restaurant to see someone who, you can tell immediately, is just is not going to be your type. You sit down and begin the date only to realize your initial instinct was right and you have absolutely nothing in common with this person.

You plan your next steps carefully, thoughts of excuses to make a quick exit swirling around in your head as you try to remain engaged in the polite chit-chat that’s happening at the table you’re sitting at. Your mind draws a blank and random thoughts that provide you with no solution whatsoever take over. You’re going to have to go with whatever you can think of to get out of this or see the date through to the end. What are you going to do?

Here are 15 of the funniest and stupidest excuses used to leave a bad date.

15. I started thinking about the meaning of life and now I am completely overwhelmed

If this is your first date with the person you have the advantage that they don’t know your personality. You could be a really nice person…or be completely crazy and emotionally unstable, how would they know? Perhaps trying to swing the conversation to the topic of the meaning of life then telling them that you are now completely overwhelmed and have to leave immediately will do the trick. After all, you could just be someone who is super emotional and easily affected by things that your mind just can’t and never will understand. Time for a lay down in a dark room to fix that tired brain.

14. This place only has Pepsi and I only drink Coca-Cola

We’ve all been there, you go to order yourself a nice refreshing Coca-Cola and the waitress responds with, ‘We only have Pepsi, is that OK?” Being the socially polite bunch that we are, we nod our head and agree but what if we’re actually being honest, it wasn’t OK. They may be two beverages that look similar, identical even, but we can still taste the difference. I mean if we offer Monopoly money instead of real money would that be acceptable too? Perhaps, you could be so upset by the fizzy drink situation that you urgently have to leave the establishment, resulting in the end of the date also.

13. I forgot I told my friend I would help them rearrange their freezer

You’re in a restaurant, so food is on the brain. Also, using a friend as an excuse to leave is a classic trick that never gets old and is completely believable. Put those two train of thoughts together and you might conclude that telling your date that you need to leave to help a friend rearrange their freezer is a good idea. After all, rearranging a freezer can be a big job and who wouldn’t want some company when doing such an important task. They do say a tidy home leads to a tidy mind and keeping the freezer in tip-top condition must be included in that somewhere.

12. I always need to have a nap before I eat a meal sorry

How could you forget that you hadn’t had your pre-dinner nap? Without this you surely won’t be able to enjoy the meal at all and could even risk falling asleep at the table – how embarrassing. You best leave now before the starters arrive so that you can get home before the yawning begins. Oh, your date has never heard of pre-dinner naps? Maybe, you were just brought up differently, it’s always been a thing in the small town you grew up in, they even let people finish work early to make sure they have enough time to fit their nap in before dinner.

11. I told my elderly neighbour I would help her bake cookies

It may now be the evening, and it’s likely that your elderly neighbour might even be tucked up in bed right now. But how could you forget that you absolutely promised dear Mrs. Johnson that you would help her bake her famous chocolate chip cookies. If you don’t leave and do it right now, they won’t be ready in time for tomorrows neighbourhood watch meeting. Things will surely descend into utter chaos without the distraction of her tasty cookies. Best leave now, to make sure there is enough time to get them prepped and in the oven before it’s too late.

10. I don’t want to miss my favourite TV commercial

You can’t watch TV commercials on catch-up. It’s Friday night and that can only mean that the best TV adverts of the week are going to be targeting the mass TV audiences of the evening before the weekend. What if McDonald’s has a fantastic new ad telling us how free range the animals used in their meals are? What if Nespresso has a new ad where George Clooney plays a mysterious and slightly comical coffee lover? It’s time to head home pronto, to make sure you can catch as many of these commercials as possible before it’s too late and poker takes over the TV.

9. My horoscope told me to be home early tonight

You may be no Mystic Meg but it’s better to be safe than sorry, right? If the full moon this month is making your star sign particularly vulnerable to negative events and situations, coupled with Venus aligning with Mars in the upcoming weeks, it’s probably best that you lie low for a while until things look a little clearer for your star sign. Unfortunately, this is something that you just can’t control and is completely out of your hands, all you can do is follow the advice of a spiritual guru and hope for a positive outcome. Think it’s for the best that you grab your coat.

8. The guy on television told me not to go anywhere

You were in the middle of a television programme just before you left, you picked up your keys and picked up the remote ready to turn the television off when suddenly the voice that lives inside the black box told you not to go anywhere and to stay tuned. Against your better judgement you quickly turned it off and ran out the door before he could realize you were gone. As you rushed to get to the date you didn’t really think about the consequences of these actions but now you realize that your actions have been completely unacceptable and that you must return to the television man immediately. Now if you spin this tale to your date he will be more than happy to let you go and end the date as soon as possible.

7. I’m teaching my parrot to sing Justin Bieber’s new song

Having pets is quite the commitment, you can’t just pick them up and drop them whenever you feel like it. They are part of your family and need your constant care and attention. If you’ve told Sunny the parrot you would teach him Justin Bieber’s new song, you can’t just let him down last minute to go on a date instead. After all, you do live with him and wouldn’t want to have to face weeks of the cold shoulder because of the utter disappointment you caused him. Warm up that singing voice, it’s time to let out your inner Belieber.

6. I have to take the bins out

Oh, is it bin day already? How could it have completely slipped your mind! If you get home too late there might not be any room in the community bins for your rubbish. You could also run the risk of forgetting again and having your trash pile up in your house – no one wants that. And, let’s be honest, the bin men only come once a week, it’s quite an important task to make sure it’s all ready on time, it’s not like you can ring the bin guys and get them to come back later. Better make sure it’s taken care of now before the house starts to smell like a dump.

5. I didn’t put matching socks on

How humiliating! You have just looked down and realized that you didn’t put matching socks on. Unfortunately, your just not the kind of person that can be seen out and about in odd socks, your risking not only ruining your reputation as a fashion icon and inspiration to many but also wearing out one sock that belongs in a pair means that you may have displaced the other sock somewhere and you must go hunting for it immediately. Time to run home to find those matching pairs so that they can be reunited with their other halves, it’s just not acceptable to be out on a date until this sock fiasco is sorted.

4. I think the police are after me for jaywalking

Are you paranoid or is that man over there staring at you? And the one sitting at the bar holding a newspaper up in front of his face? There’s also a black car outside which has driven past not once but three times and you swear it must be the same one. When you crossed the road earlier without using the crossing, you knew you were doing wrong but in the hurry you were in to get to the date you didn’t have time to wait for that little green man. You can’t get arrested on the date, you’ll have to make a quick getaway out the back door before your caught.

3. I need to finish untangling my headphones

It’s one of those things that once you started thinking about, you just couldn’t get out of your mind. All you can see is those white thin wires all knotted up and tangled sitting on your bedroom cabinet, just waiting for someone to come and untangle them. How can you focus on being yourself and meeting someone new, when they are all you can think about? Unfortunately, the only way to resolve this issue is to grab the nearest cab and get straight back home to sort them out, it’s not worth the risk of not being able to listen to music properly in the future.

2. My phones about to die and I don’t have my charger with me

Take a look around and most of the time you will see most people with their phones glued to their hands. We rely on them for anything and everything, from socializing to Google maps, work emails, apps, calendars and gaming; they pretty much run our lives. We’ve all experienced that heart-breaking moment when the battery runs out and you no longer know what to do with your hands. After only 30 minutes your fingers twitch from not pressing buttons and you just don’t feel like a human being anymore. Get home and find that charger before you suffer any worse symptoms or miss any essential social media posts – it’s a necessity.

1. I think this restaurant’s haunted, I’m getting cold shivers

Did that fork just move across the table by itself? Is that human shadow in the corridor a ghost or a real person? Why do you keep getting cold chills running down your spine? There’s only one possible explanation and it’s that this place must be haunted. You get freaked out watching paranormal activity movies let alone being in any close proximity to anything that really could be paranormal, it’s not worth taking the risk, tonight or ever. You’ll be leaving never to return, and if that means never seeing your date again, well then that’s the way it has to be.