In this modern world, we have grown up knowing that women can earn equally as much money as men at work or sometimes even more. The amount of ‘breadwinner wives’ is on the rise as women take control of bringing back the bacon for the family household. As a result, the stay-at-home Dad is becoming increasingly popular, mixing up the defined gender roles of the past. The idea that a woman should stay at home, cook and clean whilst the man goes to work has become completely outdated, retro and not even financially possible for most couples.

The more traditional man might find this slightly problematic, and maybe even uncomfortable if his wife excels in her career whilst he stays in the same company position he’s been in for years. Or maybe, he will be proud of his wife for getting recognised for the hard work she has put in and the career she has spent time developing. But surely, it shouldn’t matter if you are a man or woman, right? After all, it’s not just Ne-Yo looking for Miss Independent, so what happens when men actually find a woman who earns more money than them?

Here are 15 reasons men can’t be with a woman who earns more money:

15. It hurts their ego

It’s no secret that a man’s ego is easily bruised, particularly when it comes to matters relating to his other half. Wanting to come across as the manly man that he is might mean being able to look after his lady financially as well as emotionally. Treating her to romantic dinners in fancy restaurants and expensive gifts and might not be possible if she is already earning enough to do this herself. When he doesn’t have the financial capabilities to remain in charge and in control it could be a little damaging for his ego to have a partner that is earning more money.

14. They’re intimidated by ambition

There’s something about a well-paid business woman that some men can find intimidating. Higher-earning women can often be stereotyped to be a mean, cold and ruthless woman in a business suit. It is sometimes assumed that they have been willing to overcome their femininity of being nice and caring to get to where they are now by backstabbing and screwing over other people and colleagues. It’s more likely that they have just worked hard to get to the position that they are in but this stereotype can still be a little intimidating to a guy who’s earning less money.

13. They want to spend more time with their partner

It’s usually the case that with higher salaries comes a bigger workload, meaning more time in the office and less quality time spent working on a relationship. It might also mean that when she’s actually free and not distracted with work that she’s absolutely exhausted and not up for doing anything or putting time and effort into the relationship. This might be a key reason as to why a man would want to date someone with a lower salaried job that has more time to spend with them and is also less stressed as their job is easier to manage.

12. Cheating is more likely

Because of the lack of time spent working on the relationship, it might leave the guy feeling a little devalued and less loved than he should be. As a result of this, it might be the case that he goes elsewhere to find someone who does appreciate him and actually ends up cheating on his significant other. If a partner is struggling with feelings of unhappiness and loneliness whilst in a relationship, it can often be the case that cheating is a way to fill the missing feelings of completeness, even if it is only temporary and will have devastating future consequences.

11. Divorce is more likely

For those couples that are actually married, statistics show that where the woman earns more than the man a divorce could be more likely. When the insecurities and issues that the guy is feeling can’t be resolved and there is nothing left to be done to fix a relationship. It could mean that it’s over for good and both parties go their separate ways to lead new lives apart from each other. It might have been the case that over the course of the marriage the woman’s career has taken off, changing the dynamics of the relationship from how it was initially.

10. She’s less likely to help out around the house

If your partner hasn’t got much time due to work commitments and when they do finally get home they are too exhausted to do general day-to-day tasks like emptying the bins, cooking dinner and the washing up it could begin to be a bit of a problem. Either you are both in the same position and end up employing a cleaner as well as eating a lot of take-out food or the guy naturally ends up taking over the chores and running of the household. For some men this is fine but there will be those who will not be willing to take on this commitment.

9. They feel uncomfortable with their partner paying for things

Growing up, watching films and reading books it always seems the way that the gentlemanly thing to do is for the guy to offer to pay for things and treat the women. However, if your partner is earning more than you or even if you are a house-husband bringing up the kids and not working at all there still might be times that the guy will feel a little awkward when his partner has to pay for everything, especially in public it could even be a little embarrassing at times when the waiter automatically looks at the man for payment only for his other half to be the one with the credit cards.

8. They are embarrassed in front of their friends

We all know what a group of lads can be like, any excuse for some banter will be taken and it could be the case that when they find out your missus is earning more than you that the lads will take the opportunity to remind you of it whenever they can. It might be that some guys are so embarrassed that they actually don’t tell their friends about their other halves pay packet and try to keep it a secret for as long as possible to avoid the verbal torment from their friends. Or on the other hand, it could turn out that the boys are actually envious that you managed to pull someone so successful.

7. They don’t want their partner to feel sorry for them

The last thing people want from their relationship is for their partner to feel pity for them. But if no matter what you do and how hard you work you’re career just doesn’t seem to be going anywhere or moving forward and your partner seems to have hit success without even really trying, it might be that the woman starts to feel a little sorry for the man. No one wants their partner to pity them as men like to be seen as being strong, particularly if you’re quite the masculine man, you could find it difficult to cope with these feelings of pity.

6. They want to be able to treat their partner

What happens when the guy has spent months saving some of his pay each month so that he can afford a nice gift or meal for his significant other, but she actually just goes out and buys said item herself with no worries because she can afford to do it? Everyone likes to treat their partner and it can be difficult if you are harder up for cash to afford little gifts to make her smile. Especially, if she doesn’t see it as a lot of money because her salary allows her to be more frivolous with her spending habits.

5. They feel like a failure

After years of hard work either studying or putting in the hours to move up the career ladder, only to be kept in the same position or feel like they are failing at their career path can leave a person feeling a little low. This feeling could be intensified if you have a partner who is excelling at their career in a way that the man cannot, leaving them feeling particularly inadequate and like they are failing. You would hope that your partner would be able to help you through these feelings but they might just be too busy working.

4. They are too used to traditional gender roles

Many people grew up in a household where Dad went to work and brought in the money to support the family, whereas Mum’s role was taking care of the kids, doing the chores and leading a life as a housewife. This pattern is also often found in films and books, however is becoming increasingly less the ‘norm’ of family dynamics. If the guy is used to these traditional gender roles he might be looking for a relationship that will take on this form instead and opt to avoid those high paid women altogether, in favour of someone who would be willing to accept a more traditional gender role.

3. They are unsatisfied until they earn more

It might be that because the woman is earning a higher salary, the man is always pushing himself to achieve more and work harder to try and takeover as the main earner in the relationship. Putting this kind of pressure on himself won’t be healthy for him or the relationship as he will remain dissatisfied until he is able to accomplish getting the higher salary. It could be that he never achieves it and it will either lead to the end of the relationship or a person who is mentally and physically exhausted from overworking themselves and feeling constantly like they aren’t able to achieve enough.

2. Their dreams of being the ‘breadwinner’ are ruined

If you’ve grown up with the goal that you will be taking care of your family and looking after them financially and spent all your life thinking that this will be the case, you could be sorely disappointed when these dreams are ruined. Guys who aim for their family to be dependent on them and get satisfaction from knowing that they are completely looking after their loved ones might not be able to adjust to having a rival breadwinner in the form of their partner. It could lead to incompatibility issues in the relationship as you both have different life goals and ambitions.

1. They might feel more unhappy

All of these reasons, particularly the feelings of insecurity, self-doubt and even jealousy that your partner is doing better than you financially can lead to unhappiness for everyone involved. When people are unhappy in relationships is when they begin to do things that can hurt the other person, even if they don’t really mean to. So, the options are either leave the relationship and find someone who earns less to boost that fragile male ego or suck it up, be proud and accept that you’re dating a successful, independent woman who has a salary that reflects her hard work and ambition.