15 Reasons She Becomes Clingy After Spending The Night
If you’ve ever had a one night stand with a girl who seemed to be on you like white on rice afterward, you know that it can get pretty annoying, and can become a little creepy after a while. If you’ve ever started a relationship, and you plan on being with the girl for a while, but she seems to change after the two of you spend the night together, you know the feeling of “what have I gotten myself into?”
Well, guys, there are a lot of reasons women become clingy after the relationship reaches the physical level (whether you just met, or you’ve been dating for a while). If your hook-up is hung up on you, and just won’t stop texting, or if your girlfriend brought out her inner crazy after the first night you were together, just know that there is something more going on in this situation, and there are many ways to overcome the clingy girl that you just bedded, but first, you should know why. Here are 15 reasons she became clingy after spending the night with you and a few suggestions on how to make it stop.
15. Something You Said
Women are notorious overthinkers. While men over think too, many women seem to get hung up on certain things, and the over thinking can be unbearable in their minds. So, if it’s something you said the night of or the morning after, she could be overcompensating in attempts to show you she is better than any other girl you’ve ever been with. What could you have possibly said to make her clingy? Well, if this was intended to be a one night thing, you could have accidentally given her some hope that it was more than that. This isn’t your fault, by any means, as a matter of fact, when a woman is deconstructing your words, it’s best to be as clear on your intentions as possible. So, if she’s clingy because of something you said, it’s time to make your intentions clear. Don’t be afraid to say “I misspoke. My real intentions are…” You’ll get some backlash, but the clinginess will end.
14. Something She Said
If she says something and you don’t respond, this could also lead to an overthinking process in women that ultimately will lead to clingy behaviour until she resolves the issue in her head. If she doesn’t come out and ask you the meaning of your response, and her clinginess has become unbearable, you should ask her what’s up. This is especially important when you’re trying to maintain a relationship that just got physical. Don’t be afraid to say, “You weren’t like this before. What’s really going on with you?” By asking this, you’re showing her that you are here for an open relationship and you aren’t down for the clingy surprise that you’re currently facing.
13. She Wants More
Yup, she wants more. This one works for those in relationships and those who had a one night stand. She wants more of what you gave, and she’s going to give you the proper attention in hopes of getting more attention for herself in that arena. If her onslaught of texts are reminiscent of the night you hooked up, she’s trying to get your mind back on that night, and she wants more of your time and energy… and… well, you know. Again, it’s most important to be clear with your intentions and your needs in this situation. If she’s trying to meet up with you again, and you’re not interested, simply tell her you’re moving on. It’s painful for the girl, no doubt, but less painful than it would be later on. If you’re in a relationship with her and you want to go at it again, meet up with her, but tell her the texting is a little much.
12. She Wants A Connection
This one is for the one-nighters out there. If she offered you her body, and you willingly received, despite the fact that she knew your intentions, she may have felt or wants to feel a connection with you. It’s not that you’re the super awesomest guy in the whole wide world. Some women actually regret one night stands, and make the terrible mistake of trying to form a connection with the guy involved. In this case, it’s up to you what to do. You can work through and make a connection with her, or you can basically tell her that she knew what she was in for with you, and you’re not comfortable going any further with it.
11. She Wants A Relationship
Again, this one is for the one-nighters. Wanting a relationship and wanting a connection are two different things. If she’s looking for a connection, she’s more looking to justify (to herself) sleeping with you. If she wants a relationship, she felt that connection, and is being clingy to find out if you felt it too. She wants to try. She doesn’t want to give up. She wants more than just that one night of fun. If you’ve heard any of this from the girl that is clinging to your one night of passion, it’s time you lay it on the line for her. This could end friendships (if the two of you knew each other beforehand), and it could lead to heated arguments. Ultimately, it’s best for you to be honest as soon as possible.
10. Unfinished Business
Something went wrong that night. Something is off in the balance of the universe. She wants more of something, and it doesn’t necessarily have to be what you gave her the night she slept over. If you’re in a relationship with her, and she’s blowing up your phone a week after you spent the night, she’s probably looking figure out exactly how you felt about the entire situation. If this is the case, don’t be afraid to ask her what her deal is. Why is she acting this way all of the sudden? Figure out what business is unfinished and finish it for her by telling her what you want and need.
9. Previous Experience
If she’s all over you in public, marking her territory with you, she’s not being clingy in a creepy way. She could just be working off of previous terrible experiences that have happened in the past (i.e. she was cheated on), and she wants to make sure that you and everyone around you know that you’re a thing. If this is getting on your nerves and/or worrying you in general, it’s time to sit her down and have a talk. Make sure she knows how you feel: she’s acting creepy and it’s not okay. Ease her mind by showing her you care, telling her you’re not that type of guy, and explaining to her that you don’t like being compared to her exes. If this doesn’t calm her down, you may be in for a long downhill ride.
8. She’s Confused
Whether you had a one night stand or you’re in a relationship with this girl, the step to getting physical with someone can lead to confusion across the board. If it was a one-night thing, and she is confused, she probably has no idea where the two of you stand. So, if she’s being clingy, ask her what’s up and why she’s acting this way. If you’re in a relationship with her, spending the night can lead to confusion on how you feel about her, how she feels about you, all the way to religious confusion and what she really wants compared to what you really want. This is far more complicated than the one night stand’s confusion of “does he like me, or does he not like me?” If you’re in a relationship, your conversation with your clingy significant other will be much longer, in depth, and intense. Take the time with her. It’ll definitely relieve some of the crazy you’re seeing.
7. She Isn’t Comfortable
Something went wrong in the wiring of what you were doing together. She’s not sure how to go about telling you what’s really on her mind, so she changes things up and overcompensates by becoming clingy. If your girl is uncomfortable after your relationship reached the next level, she might not want to tell you, but she knows that she shouldn’t put that on you. If it was a one-night thing, her discomfort comes from the situation itself, no matter how clear you were with your intentions before she spent the night. In either situation, a conversation is important here. Ask her if she’s okay. Tell her you’ve noticed the change. Be honest.
6. She Wants To Know What You Think
It’s difficult for women to blurt out the question “Was it good for you?” Instead, she’ll repeatedly bring up the night in question, and try to gauge the temperature of your response. If you give a brush off response, it’ll make things even worse. She’ll engage in physical contact as much as possible, again trying to figure out exactly how you feel. If she’s overly clingy with you, and she wasn’t like this before, look her dead in the eye, and tell her how you feel. “I had a lot of fun the other night, and I look forward to spending more time with you as my girlfriend.” is a good start. If the cling doesn’t end, tell her that it is making you uncomfortable.
5. She Doesn’t Do Well With Rejection
If it was a one-night thing, or if you’re in a relationship and you’ve waited over a week after spending the night together, the girl could feel rejected. Instead of getting bitter, she is overcompensating with a static cling that no fabric softener can get rid of. If this is the case, make sure you set your boundaries (or reset your boundaries with her if you’ve already established your intentions before the one-nighter). Let her know that it’s not you rejecting her, it’s how you feel about relationships. If you’re in a relationship and it’s been a while, make sure she knows what your sex drive is really like.
4. She Doesn’t Like The Rules
You can do everything right for a one night event. You can tell her what your rules are, how you feel about relationships, and have her sign a notarized contract saying she’s cool with one and done. If she thinks she can change you or doesn’t like your rules, she’ll stick to you like glue, blowing up your phone, and trying to figure out why should couldn’t change your mind (after all, she’s heard that she’s, like, super great in bed, and stuff). If this is the case, you just gotta repeat your rules to her. If she hates the rules, she isn’t going to change you, and it’s time for her to move on.
3. She’s Got Plans For You
I know this sounds rather ominous, but if you’re dating, it’s not as bad as you might think. If she’s all over you after your relationship got physical, she could just be showing the world that you’re hers and she’s yours, and the two of you are super happy and at the next level. She also wants to show that she’s got future plans with you. What better way to do that than to hang all over you, look at you like you’re a god, and get you to go even further in public with her? If this is making you uncomfortable, tell her. It’s the only way she’ll stop, or at the very least, tone it down.
2. She Thinks That’s What You Want
Some guys are into the clingy girl. For some people clinginess equals love. Not for you, I get it, but for some people that’s the only way a woman can show that she cares. If she thinks it’s what you want, and she really wants you, she’ll lather on the cling nice and thick just to show you that she cares for you that much. If this is not how you’re comfortable receiving affection, let her know. If she doesn’t know you’re uncomfortable, she’ll never stop until you explode, and have a huge fight with her. To avoid this, let her know you’re not down for the clingy stuff early on.
1. She’s Just a Clingy Person
Some people are just naturally clingy. This goes for guys and girls. It could be some deep seeded psychological issue stemming from childhood or it could be a recent thing based on past relationship experience. Ultimately, clingy people tend to want to show more love than is implied. This isn’t always a bad thing, but if clingy girlfriends have taken you down dark paths in the past, you need to be open and honest with her immediately. You don’t have to try to change her, but see if she can tone it down. If not, the two of you probably weren’t meant to be. Just make sure that you’re comfortable in this relationship as well. Perhaps the two of you can find a good balance of affection.