They say that the bond between a mother and son is one of the strongest there. Think Daenerys Targaryen guarding one of her precious baby dragons – does that remind you of your mama when you introduced your new flame? Did you think that it was just nerves and would probably wear off over the course of time, only to be five years down the line and still defending your relationship (or even marriage)?

You’re stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea – your mom hates your partner and your partner knows it, giving you a hard time about it any time you’re invited to the family home for dinner. There’s a reason why mother-in-laws are notoriously hard to please, but despite trying to figure out exactly why your mom hates your girlfriend so much is like trying to understand quantum physics. You just can’t do it, and every time you try you get a migraine.

This is where we come in, friends. Fear no longer – we’ve dug up the dirt and discovered 15 of the top reasons why your mother hates her. Read on and don’t give up hope, you might just be able to salvage the situation yet.

15. SHE’S NOT YOUR ‘TYPE’

Mothers think they know a lot about their sons. The bond is said to be one of the strongest there is, and while you may think you know exactly what you want in a woman (and that’s who you’ve chosen to date) your mother may have a different idea altogether. If she has it in her head that you’re going to marry a 5’2” brunette with an Italian background, it’s going to be a little disconcerting when you bring home a 5’9” blonde from Connecticut. In reality, she probably knows that she’s being biased, but that doesn’t mean that she’ll instantly take a liking to Cindy when she was expecting Valentina.

14. HER OUTFITS ARE TOO REVEALING

Mothers expect a certain level of respect from anyone one of their children brings home, and rightly so. While it’s perfectly acceptable to today’s generation to walk around scantily clad and not be succumbed to any judgement, it’s a little different when you’re meeting someone’s mother. It’s not that mom doesn’t appreciate the female form, but she doesn’t really want to see it all hanging out over her homecooked meal. If this ends up being a constant reoccurrence at Sunday dinners is it really surprising that dear old Ma is going to feel a tinge of resentment? Who knows, maybe she’s pining for her long-lost youth.

13. WHEN SHE CALLS YOU ‘BABY’

Calling you ‘Baby’ is just another notch on the cringe-o-meter that we could all do without. In front of your friends, it’s one thing, but in front of your family it’s a little too familiar and a little too uncomfortable. You can cross pet names off of your list while you’re at it. To be on the safe side just call each other by name. Trust us, you’ll save yourself the embarrassment of being teased by your siblings and known forever as ‘Pookie’. It’s worth the awkward conversation before you go, and laying out some ground rules for your prospective future wife.

12. SHE IS A TERRIBLE COOK

Remember that time where you thought you’d switch it up and have your parents over for dinner at your house for a change? Your girlfriend wanted to make a good impression and thought that she would make her famous lasagne. Chances are, your mom ate out of politeness and went home with the intention of looking up local cookery classes. It’s not that she doesn’t appreciate the effort, it’s just that with all these years of experience under her belt a dinner better be done right or not done at all. Can you really blame her? Even you put the leftovers in the dog bowl.

11. SHE KNOWS HER MOTHER

If you’ve grown up in a fairly close-knit community, the chances are your families know each other. In some cases, this is a huge advantage. Your mothers may be friends or even attend the same meetings at the community centre – but this is a double-edged sword, friends. It might all be exchanging recipes and polite over the table talk, but how she views your partners mother might have a domino effect on how she views your partner. Yes, it’s silly – after all, would you like someone to judge you based on your father? But, bear it in mind. Do your research before swooping in on Sandra that works in the garage.

10. SHE’S TOO FAMILIAR

What can we say, mama’s just love respect. The more you give them, they more they’ll respect you (can’t that be said of all of us?). So, if your new girlfriend becomes too familiar with her too quickly, it’s going to go down like Henry Cooper in a ring with Muhammed Ali. No one likes being overly polite and uncomfortable for extended periods of time, but if your girlfriend stopped minding her P’s and Q’s early on in the relationship, that could be a huge contributing factor as to why your mom will be shooting her daggers over the cranberry sauce this Thanksgiving.

9. HER PARENTING SKILLS AREN’T UP TO PAR

Maybe you’re reading this because your relationship isn’t a new one, but you’re happily married to the woman that your mother detests. Do you have children with her, and yet your mom still refuses to click with her? That might be the problem. Having grandchildren is one of the best things next to having your own kids, and as mama has been there, done that and got the t-shirt, she’ll have her own opinion on how they should be raised. It can be as simple as that one time when your wife declined her help with the newborn. It’s not your wife’s fault of course – she wants to make her own way. However, mommy dearest probably felt snubbed and the burn has never gone away.

8. THAT TIME SHE FLIRTED WITH YOUR DAD (EVEN IF SHE DIDN’T)

A well-time laugh, a flick of the hair and a gentle touch on the arm. Completely innocent of course, but it’s the same joke that your mother has been subjected to since 1979, so when someone else comes in it and laughs at it coquettishly for the first time, it simultaneously reminds her that almost 40 years have gone past in the blink of an eye and that your dad is as impressionable as you are (judging by that smug look on his face). Don’t blame her if she sits there like a sour puss whenever you bring your 25-year-old girl round.

7. HER JOB ISN’T SERIOUS ENOUGH

Any parent wants the best for their child. We dream even bigger than they do, and when they become successful it fills us with the kind of achievement that we’ve never experienced – even when we did it ourselves. Mom’s watch you make something of yourself and are there every step of the way. When you become a high-flying executive and start dating a girl that works in Hooters, something may not sit right there. True love knows no bounds, but mom may take a while to get used to seeing your girlfriend drinking champagne when she’s earning lemonade money.

6. SHE SECRETLY THINKS SHE’S A MONEY GRABBER

No matter how many times that you’ve stressed it’s a partnership, not a one way street that she freely walks down with your credit card, your mom may always be a little dubious. Especially if she has a job that’s lesser to yours like we previously discussed. She may never admit it, but if your girl isn’t as career driven as you it puts a big black mark against her chances of ever being fully accepted into the fold. Don’t do a Don Draper either and try and hire her at your firm (okay, technically the Mad Men character married his secretary). It won’t work out and it’ll wreak of desperation.

5. THE WAY SHE TALKS TO YOU

You may have thought that you had gotten away with hiding that disagreement over the table decorations at the wedding planners office, but your mom heard everything through the office door. Make no mistake, you will forever be her baby – and she will always be on your side. When your significant other starts talking to you in the same tone of voice that you use to chastise your dog, you’ll almost be able to hear your mom’s teeth grinding in the background. Then we’ll find out who the real Rottweiler is here and it won’t be. For the sake of your sanity, keep all arguments behind closed doors and whatever you do, don’t ask your mom for advice. She’ll give it.

4. SHE KEEPS YOU FROM HER

Think back to the days of singledom, when you used to visit your parents two or three nights a week, just because eating alone 7 days a week seemed a little too pathetic. Since meeting your girlfriend, it’s slimmed down to once a week at best, and that’s usually a couple’s deal. It happened so quickly that you didn’t even notice it was happening, but suddenly mama is left at home making dinner for two and wondering why you don’t call her anymore. It doesn’t take a genius to know that spending time with our parents peters out as we grow older, but let this be fair warning to you – she won’t go down without a fight.

3. HER MANICURE IS TRASHY (AND CAN’T BE HYGIENIC)

Back in the old days (okay, maybe just in the world of moms) a manicure was french, short and classy. These days, it’s all about long, bright and more diamantes and sparkly things than you can shake a stick at. If your girl has a look that is more fitting to Ru Paul’s Drag Show than Sunday dinner in the Hamptons, it might be time to book her a makeover. Hey, listen, moms aren’t superficial or anything, but it’s a little off-putting when your date struggles to help out with the dishes in the post-dinner bonding chat for fear she’s going to get a nail caught in the garbage disposal.

2. TOO MUCH PDA

Whether it’s you or her that starts the game of footsie underneath the dining room table, we suggest you quit it while you’re ahead. Just like when your girlfriend calls you nicknames makes your mom’s blood boil, this may just tip her over the edge and be one of the defining reasons against her hate campaigns against your girlfriend. Watching any couple with their hands all over each other is bad enough, let alone when it’s your son and the girl that you know isn’t right for him. Tell her to leave the touching at home if she wants to be part of the family.

1. YOU’RE HER SON

What all of this boils down to is one thing – you’re her son, her baby boy and her pride and joy. Regardless if you’re an only child or one of many, your mom will never truly think anyone is good enough for you. But – by listening to our sage advice and taking a moment to think over all of the times that your significant other made a hideous impression (and you were too innocent to realize it) you may be able to salvage this trainwreck before it goes too far. Cut your mom a little slack though – don’t be too hard on her. After all, when you’ve got kids of your own you’ll be waiting by the door ready to interrogate your daughter’s prom date. It’s a rite of passage.