Did I marry another man? What does she take me for? I’m I that useless? My secretary at work respects me a whole lot more than my girlfriend does. Ding! That is what a confused man married to a successful woman feels like; trapped and disrespected. He feels like the man within him is not given a chance to express himself in their relationship. All men want is to enjoy being the head of the pack. If they were out for a strong, all knowing and all providing companion, they could marry themselves, or better still, another man.

Feminism might have worked for Coretta King and many other women that fought for the voice of a woman in the society; this does not mean the woman has to step on her husband’s head in order to feel like she is stronger. A successful woman has it all and it takes being a good man for her to submit. If you prove to be an ego-filled douchebag, she will pack her bags and leave. Here are a few reasons why men like the thought of a successful woman, but can’t stand marrying or dating one.

15. Men can’t compete at work and in their own homes too

Successful women tend to compete with men in the notion of “I am an alpha female.” Hey ma’am Alpha, he married you so cut him some slack and quit competing with him. He doesn’t have to be in the kitchen to help you cook every day, he married you to compliment him like he does you. I mean, he won’t allow you to pay bills every time you guys are out on a date, so why do you expect him to do house chores every day? He could think of what to eat when he was a bachelor but not when he’s got you in his life. This does not give you the chance to mess the house up and give her a hard time, put your dirty clothes in the laundry basket and not on the floor, don’t expect her to mop up the vomit you splatted out after a drinking spree with your boys, also don’t disarrange what she’s neatly arranged.

14. They have unrealistic expectations

Most successful women always have it all figured out and are always in pursuit of the perfect guy. Setting respectable standards is good; no one wants to date a loser anyway. When the standards are set too high, they tend to have no allowance for some imperfection in every guy, and this is what men repel like a plague. Men don’t want to feel like they are living a scripted life. If he makes you happy, makes you feel loved, wanted and appreciated does it matter whether he is living in a house that’s less expensive than yours, or that he drives a normal ride as you cruise in your Ferrari? It ain’t no fairy tale!

13. The ‘I can-do-it-all-by-myself’ syndrome

Most successful women have the ‘I know it all’ syndrome lurking around their minds. They are the type that can fix car breakdowns, or the one that took a woodwork course and can do all repairs in the house, the plumbers who can fix their sewer system issues or the one who insists on paying hotel bills while out on a date. Woman! Give the man some space to fit his head. It is an admirable trait to be able to fend for yourself but when the man comes in allow him to do it for you, not because you can’t do them but because you don’t have to do them when they are around and would like to help. If you ask them to do it, and they fail to, then you could do it by yourself. It shall go on record that you gave him a chance and he threw it away. Make him feel useful and appreciated.

12. She has no time for you unless she really needs you

Some successful women act all busy even in their houses. Work all you want at your workplace but once you get to the house you are no longer the first lady, nor the manager but a wife to a man who has had a long day. If you dare carry your bossiness to the bed not minding your husband’s ego, you will be banging yourself. He can’t survive without sex either, even if he wanted to punish you. Thing is he will go get some cookie outside your home from a woman who will be available for him and make him feel needed. The psychology of wealthy men visiting brothels also revolves around this theory. There are two things a man can’t survive without; sex, a good supportive wife, and money. Underline sex.

11. Too opinionated with zero filters

Strong and successful powerful women are so opinionated. They always have something to say about everything – a habit they might have attained on their way up the ladder when their opinions were highly sought after in their line of work. A very dogmatic woman with no say or thoughts on issues is not a good kind either but the opinionated type should be able to tame her tongue. She has to know when to speak, how to speak her mind without hurting others and also know when to stay silent.

10. The Status Quo – Her and her successful friends

Successful women continually feel like they live in a society that is watching out to know who they get to settle down with. It is true, to some extent but she has to draw the line and know where the fame and wealth game ends and the romance and a serious marriage begins. Most successful women hang around celebrities, other tycoons, and have friends in high-end social and financial areas. Such women would duck your calls when she realizes you are not at her level of income. It does not mean that they are not allowed to desire the stable financial Lords in their society; on the contrary, they are encouraged to find them because then they would speak the same language. This doesn’t make the hardworking, kind and affectionate police officer or chef less of a person. This type of woman could even hide you in her handbag just so that you are not seen in public together.

9. She has an intimidating IQ

Women with high intelligence quotients are good wife material because they are likely to know how to handle different situations in the relationship. She will understand her man and will always approach every conflict reasonably like a math problem. It is a turn of events when she is too intelligent for her guy. The dude will default to an intimidated corner, when her ideas are better than his, when she effortlessly excels at everything she lays her hands to do, or when their circle of friends opt for her counsel over his. It is also scientifically proven that people with extremely high IQ have a low emotional quotient, which could be strenuous to handle in a woman. No one likes an intimidating genius, nor a dummy doll.

8. High and mighty confidence/ego

A self-confident woman is attractive and better to be around than the one who always pities and doesn’t believe in herself. How far into confidence should she dive in a relationship with a man? An overconfident woman can be intimidating to anyone in her social circle. This type of women could make everything about them even if it’s not. Some show signs of aggression and confrontation whenever their egos are pricked. They are the manipulative type that will not allow anyone have their way. Which man wants such a time bomb in their lives? Let me help you out with the figures. None!

7. They are not submissive

Some successful women in the society we live in today have read so many fiction stories and listened to so many empowerment stories that force them to become stronger in order to outdo the men in their lives. Many old-fashioned men feel that a woman should make a man feel like he found a good thing by submitting to him and taking care of her man. The last time I checked, even the Holy book says so. Career women find it hard to submit to men today because they feel they should always have their guard held high no matter what.

6. Perfectionism – things must be done her way

A perfectionism trait exists in every successful woman but in varying levels. The women with a “miss perfect” mentality are likely to stay single forever. You cannot expect a man to stay in your life when all you do is single out mistakes he’s made and want things done your way or not done at all; a common disorder associated with unhealthy perfectionism. When a man feels like there is so much restructuring he has to do to fit in a woman’s life then he loses interest. Men are often imperfect and would not be able to live freely around mighty miss perfect. He needs to fart without running to the toilet often or even to make noise when with his boys once in a while without worrying about neighbors or his wife being upset.

5. She could be too educated

This type of successful women could be very intimidating attitude towards men. Regardless of her field of study, her level of education as shown in her certificate, whether Ph.D., Masters or Bachelors, would make her feel like she can’t reason with uneducated men. Are all rich men learned? Must he be learned to be able to put food on the table? It is a quite unfortunate scenario that some learned women embrace uneducated men only to rub their academic status in their faces in a demeaning manner. Don’t marry him if you will not respect him without an education. Period!

4. They believe they are always in control

This is a trait likely to be seen in successful women who are bosses or treated like lords at their workplaces. Everyone at work licks their feet and takes their words and commands as final without much opposition. Some successful women are so hungry for power and control that they don’t know where the line should be drawn. Men for the most part tend to block such women off their path as much as possible, some rebel by being rude, some end up abusing them violently just to get the control back or file for divorces when the woman can’t balance it all.

3. She can’t find a balance between her profession and her personality

What does she do? Men fear successful women in certain professions, especially those in professions that hold a symbol of power and authority. I am talking about successful and powerful women such as senators, police officers, judges or business women. Some men can’t handle psychologists as wives, as she will always know a lie before you say it, she even knows what your sleeping position means or to the extreme what you’re thinking about before you say it. A lawyer wife could twist every detail he opens his mouth to say; this makes a man shy to share his opinions freely in fear of incrimination. These types of women intimidate men and make them feel cornered. Don’t quit your job, just find the balance.

2. Too picky and proud

Trying to please a picky woman is like forcing a packet of cigarettes on church folks. She only works well with an equally sophisticated man; a very rare breed of men you don’t bump into daily, not even monthly. She has a specific designer that she rocks, a specific restaurant she dines at, a particular drink, or a strong resentment for certain foods for no apparent reason. So if your best restaurant is not open for a month, your man can’t take you out? If a nail holds onto your dress, you will walk naked because H&M collection outfits are out of stock? It is okay to be choosy and classy but at the same time rational and realistic.

1. Me dating you is a huge favor

A famous and respected woman could make a man feel like hiding under the table when she makes it sound like “I only married you or dated you just because I allowed it. You are otherwise not my normal piece of cake.” Men don’t like being at anyone’s mercy let alone a woman’s. He’d rather stay away from you than find out you think you said yes to him out of pity. Such women would chicken out on you or end up being unfaithful when they meet their “type” of men. Men see such women as walking divorce documents.