There comes a point in a woman’s life when she has to ask an important question to make an important decision: “Should I should stay with this loser and keep losing or hook up with that winner and start winning?” Now, to answer your question, yes you are the loser and yes, the winner is him. You know who ‘him’ is because, unfortunately, you’ve met him. You’ve had to brush shoulders with him at one point in your life if you’ve ever dated and it was absolutely not by your choice to do so. It was through your soon-to-be-ex benching you and giving him playing time to show his moves on the court. It was him: The Other Guy. Those three words make a man cringe more than the other infamous trio: I love you. But, trust that in this case, love is the farthest affection or thought she is feeling towards you when she makes the decision to pick The Other Guy. And sorry to say it, but women always pick The Other Guy. Every single time. Now, find out why.

15. He’s The Ex

Well, the first reason should naturally state the most obvious one that more-than-likely immediately entered your mind before all of the other thoughts did. Sometimes, a person can’t run from their past and get pulled right back in. This ‘other guy’ is typically the winner who gets the girl in those cases where they had a very strong history together in their previous relationship go-round and also ended on amiable or reluctant terms (both cases showing very strong love still there). Now, the two have probably matured and want to give this love thing a second go-round. Alternately, maybe he hasn’t matured or changed his faults that caused her to leave, but she also hasn’t changed some of her bad habits either and realizes that tey are a tarnished match in an alternate heaven where you are just too much of an angel. She knows that you are too good for her so with that in mind, consider yourself winner even if you weren’t the chosen. She sees you as honorable, a place she is not quite at or never be at, and wants you to find your real match. So when the time comes where she states the infamous, “It’s not you, it’s me” line, believe her. She’s telling you the truth. He doesn’t deserve you, knows it, and wants you to know it too.

14. He’s The “I’ve Known Him Since We Were In Diapers” Other Guy

No. Literally. This one applies to the ‘burbs kids in those neighborhoods where everyone stays there all their childhood. They were in the same day care, preschool, grade school, and stuck in contact even through high school (Because it’s kind of hard not to see each other when your schools are just a block down the street from one another). Yes, he’s that guy, the “Oh, we’re just good friends” guy (Yeah, sure. That’s only believable if he’s gay.). When you see him or when she brings him up, know automatically that your chances with really getting a relationship building with her have decreased from 99.99% (because females are complicated like that) to about a strong 0.99%. Why? He has several advantages over you. He has history with her, years of building communication, secrets, life events and struggles, and therefore, trust. That’s the big brownie point. He knows her emotional flaws, style, and how to respond to them because he’s seen it for years. He’s probably been her emotional blanket on more than a few occasions. He’s her best friend, but also a guy and that is a very dangerous combination. Now, this best male pal has seen, or is finally ballsy enough to try out, the dynamite in his situation with the girl. He has the perfect ammo to make the perfect shot and that is truly winning over his best friend’s heart-completely. After all of these years, he’s finally grown the courage and made the move to take their relationship to the next level like he’s always wanted. If the girl feels the same, which she very possibly does if she likes deep enough, go ahead and make it easy on yourself by just walking away now.

13. He’s A Really Good Listener

This other guy could in a way be like the ‘best friend’ guy, but he doesn’t necessarily have to be, which is why he has his own category. This guy can be anyone: the one she has started to befriend at her weekly taibo class, the new co-worker who is just so sweet, or the hot, but strangely attentive, guy she shares a drink with at the bar on her ‘girls night’ one night with friends. (Yeah, she lied to you. Sorry) It doesn’t matter who the guy is, so long as he has ears (which is likely since he’s human) to listen, not hear. There isa difference between the two and he knows that. Since you don’t know that, you are now in a very shaky spot to be pushed off quite easily. Girls talk. It’s just what they do so communication aside from just having charm or confidence is needed in your arsenal just as much. If you don’t stock up, you’ll be demolished in no time. Communication is key in any relationship, whether it’s work or with siblings. But, it is even more important in an intimate relationship with a girlfriend. If you’re not listening to her joys or frustrations or heartbreaks with compassion or attention, you will be X’ed out.

12. Or He’s A Really Good Liar

Introducing “The Player” whose alternate name is “The Charmer.” Unfortunately, some girls fall for this guy’s act. More-than-likely this is the ‘hot, and strangely attentive, guy’ she met at the bar on Girls’ Night. As a guy yourself, you know that this guy is not attentive. Not one bit. He’s paying attention enough to get with her and many girls fall for it. You might as well pack your bags and hit the road because this guy knows the players’ handbook from start to finish, front to back, upside down, inside out, with one eye squinted. He probably even wrote it. In so many words, he’s a charmer and magician knowing just what to say, how to say it, and when to say it to get the results he wants. He’s full of tricks aimed at tricking females into believing he’s the one. He only sees the females as ‘the one’ for that moment then his attention goes to the next girl. If this can be a positive note to end it on, if your girl does decide to fall for the trap, hooks up with the player, then gets hurt and leaves when his true self emerges, at least there’s a probability that you will then become the new ‘the other guy.’ You’ll be the ex she gives another try.

11. He’s Foreign

Enough said. This entire discussion on this particular ‘the other guy’ can just end right here. This guy is without a doubt even tougher competition than the liar/player/charmer. You doubt it was almost impossible to keep the girl when you two passed by the charmer in the mall where you somehow managed to keep ahold of her by the skin of your teeth? Prepare to have no skin or no teeth when this guy steps foot onto America because for him, his voice alone is the charmer. The good ole staple foreigner: wooing women with his accent for eons upon eons. Women just love a guy with a distinct dialect. Someone from a different background than you like another state or region of The States is already intriguing enough, but someone from a completely different continent with a strange tone your ears have never heard is really intriguing. There’s no way you can compete with this guy. Just sit back and watch her ride off into the Barcelona sunset with Santiago on his moped on old rustic cobblestone roads. And by watching, we mean jealously stalk and fume at all of her IG photos in Barcelona with Santiago on his moped on old rustic cobblestone roads. But, don’t feel too down. This particular rejection is actually one of the better, lucky ones. The guy’s foreign. Can you say overseas vacation? Maybe you’ll get lucky and get invited to their Spanish beach wedding. That spells new lands, exciting culture, and exotic women. That’s always a perk of not being “the other guy.”

10. He’s Athletic…And You’re Athletic-Less

So, your girlfriend’s-or the friend who’s a girl who you want to become your girlfriend-has decided to get a head start before everyone else for New Years and begin her body transformation resolution. She’s going to the gym more religiously than the most devout Christian-once every single of the week and twice on Sunday. This is all cool and awesome for you at the onset because who doesn’t like a fit body? But, soon it turns bad. Why? Because you’re not a health nut or fitness buff. As-a-matter-of-fact, you’re far from it. If the fitness buff had an alter ego, you’d be it: the brainy guy. This is who your girl met you as and took you in as; just who you are. But, sometimes there comes a point where the other half in a relationship wants to gently nudge the other to mature in one way. If you don’t accept her light invitations to join her for her Saturday morning workout (who wants to workout on Saturday? In the morning?) The other guy does. Yes, that guy. We all know him, secretly admire him, and hate him all at once because he can take your girl in a snatch with his twenty-inch biceps. Let’s say his name together: The Fitness Coach. While he might not literally be a fitness coach, even though 99.99% of them are or at least are part-time, this guy is all about keeping fit at all times. If there’s a bench he’s passing on the street, it has now become his ab crunches bar. If he wants a snack (which will only logically be a protein shake) from the store down the street, he’ll bust out his running kicks and make the trip a quick, aerobic session. He’ll just see your girl as another activity he plans to tackle (no pun intended) and a touchdown he definitely gets. The best thing you can do is just ask for his business card and what his rate is for an hour-long weightlifting session.

9. He’s Artsy

Let’s just lay it down who ‘the other guy’ is in this scenario: the Boho/New Age type. He probably has dreads and if he doesn’t, he used to like a week ago before he cut them off because they’d grown down to his feet. He’s probably into reggae, juicing, and hitting up a silent music listening party session on the weekend. But, his long, untamed mane is not his deadliest arson: his ‘zen’ is. He’s cool without even trying. He doesn’t have to try, he just has ‘it,’ in his own earthy, yet spacy kind of way. This is what pulls your girl of interest right in like a black hole. There are many ways this guy can steal your heart (because he’s an odd freak of multitalented nature). He probably writes deep, lyrical posts on his IG page that she started following a few months back because ‘he’s so inspirational and awake.” He probably was just in his own world, painting a huge, awesome mural at a music spot she likes to go out to with friends or with you and she was captivated on sight. (By the painting of course…) And if they know each other personally somehow, he probably composed a song for her on his guitar and uploaded it on his Spotify account and she fell in love by the chorus. If you can’t sing, paint, write or do anything remotely artistically inclined like he can and you find your girl slipping away, untie her from the harbor because her boat has definitely sailed.

8. He’s A Mogul…at 28

There’s nothing like a self-made man. He has more than his own car and house. He has his own freaking business. He has his stuff together. The type of girl who falls for this guy is either a business maven herself, a gold digger, or a Capricorn or all three (Sorry, Capricorns. But, you all know it’s true.) He probably even got a headstart on this empire-building while in high school because he’s a boss like that. No seriously, he was a boss in his sophomore year with a start-up developed by him and his friends. Now, their small, humble beginnings have grown into a dynasty, and your girl wants to be a part of it. Of course, he welcomes her in with open arms and a fat wallet. There’s no need to explain how this guy became ‘the other guy.’ Women want a provider just as much as they want a cool guy they connect to. This guy passes ‘the provider’ test with flying colors and you can’t even hate on him. You might even decide to hit him up on his Facebook or watch his weekly money prosperity livestreams so that you can get your own stuff together. This girl might have become a lost cause to The Mogul, but the next girl who comes your way will chose you as ‘the other guy’ because you’ll now be The Mogul too.

7. He’s The Boy Next Door with Manners, Plaid Shirts, and Cue in a Hallmark Movie Right Here

The All-American. Wholesome. Stable. A family guy. If you’re girl is a “Hallmark movies and carving pumpkins for Halloween” type, keep her far, far away from this guy. He is her type. If your girl is all about tradition and just decided to be nice by giving your ‘Buddhist and 98% tattooed body’ self a try, then know that her next try will be at nabbing the All-American. He played football in high school, went on to study Business, and now wants to build a home with kids in the ‘burbs. Let’s state the biological facts, many women are maternal by instinct; therefore, many eventually desire and get lured into the siren song of marriage and motherhood. It’s simple deductive reasoning that you were bound to fail: She wants kids, she said that on the first date (or Facetime). You don’t want kids, you said that on the first date (or Facetime). He does want kids, he said that on their first meeting in the bread aisle at the grocery store (where she was buying your favorite rye to make sandwiches because she’s motherly like we already stated). What does this mean? This means that it’s time for your cold, heartless, and intentionally destined to be childless, soul to go to another girl. A new love’s moved in and his name is David with a BA in Business Administration and a love for playing golf on the weekends…And yes, she’s going to be his caddy.

6. He Cares About People, Animals, and The Big Corporations Stealing From Us All While Stealing Your Girl

If your girl is the social media activist or actually does her injustice fighting in real-life by volunteering, working at a non-profit, or perhaps running her own non-profit, a guy who is equally as active in that world will soon become “the other guy.” The love story goes like this: She went to the Citizens of Awareness member meeting like she does every Monday after work and in he entered, the new guy in the group. He immediately took a seat and took a stand, joining in that meeting’s topic discussion of global warming and laying down the law. By the end of the meeting, he was leading the discussion, leading people on to buy overly-priced 100% recycled biodegradable tissue over regular tissue because it’s sustainable and eco-friendly, and leading himself right to your girl’s heart. They start to talk about further life inequalities, current issues that just happened, and whatever else their passionate spirits fancy after these weekly meetings and on Facebook Messenger. They decide to start an online podcast together where they can continue this discussion outside of the meetings and with even more people. Eventually, they admit they love one another’s spirit (and she dumps you). And they both live happily ever after (or, at least, as happy as happily ever after can be in a poverty-stricken, war-laden, capitalistic world). This is the tale their idealism demands and expects and boy, do these two have it in spades. They are going to change the world, one kiss, passionate Instagram meme, and food drive at a time.

5. He’s The New Guy In The Block 

This is another classic one that doesn’t really need to much elaboration or else it might cause you relapses to a dark time where you were dumped because of a new guy and it’ll make you go into a rage episode. This guy always causes a break-up; particularly, if the relationship was basically breaking up already. Basically, he’s the poor man’s (or err…woman’s?) version of The Foreign Guy. “The other guy” when she hasn’t seen enough of the world or doesn’t have the opportunity to, but still wants something exciting so this will do. In he walks, in her kickboxing class at the fitness center, in a lecture hall where you and your girl share English Composition 101 together, or in the meeting room as a new member on her business strategy team. Instantly, kicking and boxing don’t matter, learning about commas and semicolons don’t matter, and what her manager is talking about in the PowerPoint really doesn’t matter. All that matters at that moment is her making the mental decision in her head: out with the old (that’s you), in with the new (that’s the other guy, the new guy).

4. He’s Prettier Than Her

The equally admired and enviable, yet suspicious, metrosexual. Girls don’t know whether to appreciate or be a little jealous of this guy and his style and that’s more-than-likely what pulls them in. They want to both talk to the guy to get to know him and talk to him to get to know his skincare regimen. It’s a very, very strange place to be, but many females decide to take a drive there anyway because they can’t resist his sharp fashion intelligence. The huge brownie point with this guy? He always gives amazing Christmas gifts, in the right size furthermore. He’s multitalented: he knows how to dress both men and women. He’s a keeper and he might very likely also be a charmer because they tend to go hand-in-hand. With those two qualities in his arsenal, he can aim and fire you right out of the equation in no time. He can probably fire those clothes you’re wearing too because those pants in that color just don’t suit you. When new girls start streaming in to replace the one girl he stole from you because your offensive pants are no more, you’ll thank him for it. Or, like Drake says, he might tell you this after he does it: “You can thank me now.”

3. He’s a Good Dancer

Sorry to all of you rhythmically challenged guys out there, but this one had to be mentioned because it’s true. Everyone knows it’s true. If you’ve ever been to a club or a college party and we’re vibing with a certain girl over the music then all of a sudden that one song comes on (you know the one, the one that’s the hit for that month, that summer, or that year by that artist). People get up and start dancing while your anxiety gets up and starts brainstorming how to run out fast without being detected. The cat’s out the bag, you don’t know how to dance. But, there’s somebody who does: The other guy, The Dancer. He hits the floor the same time that the girl does with her friends and before you even had a chance to ask for her number, The Dancer has her hand in his, moving all over in the center of the room. She starts laughing and that’s your sign to just go ahead and really leave. Just go ahead. It’s not like anyone will notice you because she sure doesn’t anymore. It’s tough out there for the “Two Left Foots,” but someone’s gotta do it.

2. He’s a Comedian

So, when this is done, right, this can be a deadly assassin underneath a toothy grin and one-liners. It’s deceptively cool in a positive, light way and that’s the very trick that gets him in and axes you off. But, it’s not really like he’s scheming and plotting to win the girl’s heart (or maybe it is a little bit). This guy’s just genuinely and naturally funny with everyone and unfortunately for you, your girl becomes one of his biggest audience members. Laughter is one of the more light-hearted, but still very important, qualities that a woman looks for in a guy. Many guys know this, but don’t perfect this. That is key. The Comedian has perfected it down to a science of which he’s getting an A in continuously. He was probably the class clown in grammar school who, through trial-and-error, learned just the way to joke and when to joke after years of practice. But, not every Comedian is the same because humor isn’t the same and it varies person-by-person. This guy might have a low-key, observational humor, cracking on a customer in line in the café behind your girl under his breath and she cracks up. Some might be more physically silly and make just the right kind of verbal expression as a silent joke when something bizarre happens and your girl giggles. That’s how it begins for The Comedian with your girl and how it ends for you.

1. He’s A Celebrity…Kind Of…Does Youtube Count?

If the girl you like is a vain, materialistic, social media-obsessed type, this is the guy that will grab her attention next. His body is fitter than yours and he takes Instagram selfies every single day to show it and he goes to this event and that event where he bumps into more B-List than A-List celebs and posts the pictures on Instagram to prove it. He’s a self-made social media celebrity, the new age reality star type. He probably has a Youtube channel (or two) where he dances or vlogs his daily vain existence and your girl’s subscribed to it, watching it like it’s a Sunday church teleservice. Soon, you notice she’s spending less and less time with you. Then one day you randomly check out the guy’s Youtube channel and there her face pops up next to him in his car in his latest vlog. The title of the vlog? “Out with Bae.” One can’t feel too bad for you though. They say, “How you find them is how you lose them.” Your hook-up was more-than-likely just as shallow, based purely off of looks, IG filters, hashtags, and likes so don’t be upset or surprised that you were just a trend.