If you’re in a relationship or have ever been in a relationship, there might have come a time where you wondered, does my girlfriend secretly hate me? Perhaps, she’s seemed a little off for a while or has ignored your last few texts and you’re not really sure why? Maybe, she has even asked for some space from you for no particular reason. Or she could just be keeping those annoyances bottled up inside, ready to explode with anger over something trivial when it all gets too much. Leaving you completely confused and astounded when you get screamed at for not putting socks in the right drawer.

Even those couples who seem to be perfectly matched and completely in love will go through rough patches and have things about the other person that they just cannot stand. When you spend an increased amount of time with one person, it’s natural for them to eventually get on your nerves and to find flaws in them, after all, we are all only human. However, there may be some things that you simply are not aware that you are doing, that drive your girlfriend crazy with hatred.

Here are some reasons your girlfriend might secretly hate you:

15. You stopped wooing her

So, you’ve been together for a while and have passed the honeymoon phase, now you’re comfortable with each other and you’re pretty sure she’s going to stick around, have you stopped making as much effort with romance? It could be she has to listen to her bestie drone on about how her new man bought her a dozen red roses and booked them a romantic getaway. Meanwhile, you two have spent the last three months watching the same Netflix series on the sofa with a microwave meal. Especially, if you made the effort to woo her in the first place, she might start to resent you a little for the lack of romance.

14. You’re not good at decision making

She sends you on your own to do the weekly shop and you come back with two bags of Doritos, a large bottle of Coke and some frozen pizzas. She sends you to pick up her Mom a birthday present and you come back with a box of chocolates and a tin opener. Sometimes, women can question the judgement of their significant other when it comes to decision making, particularly when shopping is involved. Men and women also seem to have different thought processes in general so when it comes to quick decision making, there may be some disagreement. Even if she says it’s OK at the time, she’ll be sure to hold it against you in the future.

13. You’re too messy

Was her house neat and tidy before you came along? Do you leave a mess wherever you go? She may put up with it but will be secretly hating on you for being so messy. Longing for the time she would come home to a clean, tidy house every day. No girl wants to spend her time tidying up after her untidy boyfriend. Every time she finds a dirty plate on the side or picks up an item of your clothing on the floor, she will be secretly cursing your name. Seriously though, girls don’t have time to go around cleaning up your mess as well as their own.

12. You nag way too much

It’s no secret, girls like to shop. If you’re one of those couples who share a bank account or is saving for something big, you might be monitoring each other’s money, counting every penny to make your dreams come true. This doesn’t mean your girlfriend isn’t going to have a shopping blowout every now and then, particularly, when there are some big sales coming up. No girl wants to be nagged about spending too much money, particularly when she’s on the high mood of spoiling herself with new make-up or clothes, after all, retail therapy is good for the soul.

11. You have bad habits

As much as she tries to ignore them, or forgive you for your bad habits, they will still continue to bug her. Particularly, things such as snoring that result in the other person losing sleep and potentially their mind after nights and nights of poor quality shut-eye. Even though she knows it’s not your fault you sound like a wounded warthog during what should be your girlfriends time of peaceful rest, it won’t stop her lying next to you wanting to punch you for keeping her awake all night. Similarly, with other bad habits, she might just reach all she can tolerate before having to speak her mind.

10. You don’t listen to her

Does your girlfriend sometimes remind you of a parrot? Does she feel she constantly has to repeat herself as you immediately forget what she has just said? Whether this happens on purpose or not it might be time to pay a little more attention to what she’s saying. It can be pretty frustrating talking to someone and realizing they really weren’t listening. Particularly, if it happens a lot. You might just find it starts to drive her a little bit mad, then you’ll have no choice but to listen to her when she’s had enough and tells you off.

9. You check out other girls

If you’re checking out other girls in front of your girlfriend, you are a very brave indeed. Your girlfriend is going to be hoping that she is the only girl you need therefore does not want to see you checking out other girls in any way, shape or form. If caught, you’re either going to make her very upset or very, very angry. Even if she might not say something at the time, it will definitely come back to haunt you at a later date, it won’t be a moment that she forgets easily and you will end up paying for it.

8. You don’t make enough effort with her family

Unfortunately for some, you can’t choose your family in-laws. If you find they aren’t people that you can easily get along with or just don’t want to make the effort to get along with, it could have serious repercussions on your relationship. Most girls want to be with someone who gets on well with their family, and if you just can’t be bothered to make the effort, it won’t bode well for you in the long run. Don’t be surprised if each family event invitation you decline gets held against you, and eventually turns into a little bit of hatred.

7. She misses her friends

Whilst you’re spending weekends doing ‘couple’ stuff, what are her friends up to? Is she missing all the girl’s nights out and shopping trips? She might love being with you and spending time with you but will also long for the single days where she could do whatever she wanted without having to think about anyone else. She can no longer spend every weekend having a laugh with the girls getting drunk and having sleepovers as she has to make time for you as her main priority now. Each time she misses a major event with the girls, it’s going to hurt a little.

6. You avoid hard conversations

Every time she tries to bring up where your relationship is heading or what the future has in store for you both, do you run for the hills? Making quick and lame excuses to get out of the situation as fast as you can? The likeliness is she sees straight through these excuses and knows that you are avoiding certain topics. As they say, you can run but you can’t hide. Although she may seem to have forgotten about that hard conversation you did so well at dodging, it’s sure to resurface eventually until she has received an answer that she is happy with.

5. She has to nag you

Don’t make her feel like she’s your mother, she hates doing the nagging you as much as you hate being nagged. If she’s asked you to do something once and you’ve agreed, don’t be surprised when two weeks later you’re getting nagged for not doing it. She doesn’t want to waste her time telling you to do things and having to manage your life for you. Also, telling her to stop nagging you will not help in the slightest and may escalate the issue further, be a man and take control of the situation before you both end up resenting each other.

4. She hates your friends

She may have chosen to spend her life with you but she did not choose to spend her life with your friends. When you have the guys around for a ‘lads night’ and she hears them talking about their latest conquests and stuff that quite frankly girls shouldn’t have to hear, you might find she doesn’t see them in the best of light and won’t particularly want to spend time with them. The guys may also resent her slightly thinking she has taken you away from their ‘laddish’ culture, telling you that you are ‘under the thumb’ and angering your significant other even more.

3. You lie unnecessarily

Most people agree a white lie is acceptable here and there, however, if you’ve ever been caught out by your girlfriend on a meaningless lie, you are sure to live to regret it. Learning your boyfriend has lied to you (even if it is over something trivial) will leave her questioning what else it is you lie about and not knowing when to actually believe you, which could potentially lead to trust issues in the relationship. Silly, unnecessary lies can also be super annoying as they seem pointless and will leave your girlfriend annoyed, for a reason that was completely avoidable.

2. She wants the relationship to progress faster

She might not be trying to rush you down the aisle or lock you down with a mortgage (or she might be). But girls like to know where they stand, and if they feel the relationship isn’t progressing at a pace that they are happy with, this could lead to a build-up of secret rage. She will be worrying that she is wasting her time with the wrong person and that if it never progresses she will either spend her life waiting for someone who will never be ready to commit or will have to start a new relationship from the beginning with someone new.

1. You’re too controlling

Have you ever commented on your girlfriend’s outfit in a negative way? Or persuaded her to avoid that girls holiday or night out? Maybe, you try to limit her spending to stop her going on wild shopping sprees? Sometimes, it can be hard having to think about someone else like a partner when you are just used to living for yourself and doing whatever you want. Some girls might find these comments or behaviour controlling and although it’s not enough for them to want to come out of the relationship it will definitely be a reason that they might secretly hate you.