Here’s a question; What’s the worst thing you’ve ever seen? Chances are, it pales into insignificance when you hear the things doctors have burnt into their retinas. Take that to the next level and ask a gynecologist that question and you’re gonna hear some seriously nasty, and disturbing details. Put aside your lunch or snacks and ready your stomach for some seriously gag-worthy details of the horrors these medical stalwarts have had to deal with. We’re talking rancid tumours, deathly stenches and the frog story? Safe to say it’s revolting. Will any of us ever want to talk to a gynecologist ever again after reading this list? Well, if an OB/GYN ever invites you over for dinner, just make sure they leave their best and worst work anecdotes at the front door. Read on for a gruesome, revealing and occasionally hilarious glimpse into the world of gynecology. 

15. Dirty Money

Ok, so it’s a well-known fact that the majority of paper money is contaminated by cocaine. And you’d expect something that regularly passes from person to person to carry more than a few day-to-day germs. But this shocking OB/GYN confession will make you wonder if you ever want to touch folding notes again. A Redditor working an ER confessed that one day a prostitute was brought in and needed a catheter. The examination began and they couldn’t believe their eyes.  So the story goes: “we saw a flash of green in her vagina. Turned out to be a bank roll of mostly ones, fives, tens and a few twenties.” The ER worker said he’s stopped carrying a lot of cash now and leaves us all with a gross out thought to mull over, adding: “Think about this the next time you give your kids lunch money for school. You truly never know where it has been.”

14. Ruined Thanksgiving

Ahhh, Thanksgiving. A time for giving thanks, natch. Turkey, pumpkin pie and, apart from the gluttony, sharing time with family. So this is one story you’re probably not going to be keen on sharing around the dinner table. Retelling this on Reddit, a medical professional reports an unusual type of conversation in a very medical moment. A woman was receiving a pelvic exam, was positioned “up in the stirrups” and the OB/GYN has her fingers in the woman’s cervix. At that very moment the patient pipes up “So, do you ever think about stuffing a turkey while you’re doing this?” The gynecologist pauses for a moment (trying not to laugh) and answers “No, but now I will every Thanksgiving…” Apparently finding this hilarious, the patient proceeds to stare the GYN dead in the eye while yelling “GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE”. The worst part, says the colleague… the GYN’s hands were “still up her hoody-hoo.” I think I’ll pass on the turkey next Thanksgiving, thanks.

13. Don’t forget to wipe …

Most people when they have any kind of medical appointment that requires stripping off usually get a little OCD on cleanliness, personal grooming and maybe a little self-conscious. Sadly for gynecologists everywhere, not everyone is so fastidious when it comes to taking a considerate shower or putting on clean underwear. One Redditor passes on a harrowing story from their mom, saying: “A woman once went in and apparently filled an entire room with her putrid stench.” Apparently she had been wearing the same underwear for two months. Gross. The Redditor adds: “Her panties, which were originally white, became a darkish yellow brown. She apparently wasn’t very good at wiping either.”

12. Personal Grooming

Now we all know we need to keep things clean down there … the next burning question is just how seriously should we attend to personal grooming? Groomed, ungroomed, shaven, waxed … what’s a GYN’s preference? Most GYNs on Reddit seemed to agree — it makes no difference unless there’s so much hair it ‘gets in the way’. There was a word of warning about taking personal grooming too far, though. One woman decided to go to town down south with some glitter. Liberally sprinkled on her hoo-hah, it seems glitter is not a girl’s best friend. The gynecologist said: “Oh god, the SMELL. [The patient] said it smelled like “rotten meat” but it was so much worse. We couldn’t let any patients in that room for the rest of the day as we aired it out.” The moral of the story? Clean it up, but don’t get fancy.

11. Picking up chicks

The real question we all want the answer is this: Is being a gynecologist a good way to pick up chicks? This one Redditor certainly managed it. He carried a routine pelvic exam on a woman who came into the health center complaining of vaginal itching. So far, so tedious and maybe a little uncomfortable. Except two days later the guy’s teaching some first years and spots a familiar face in the crowd. I think we all see where this is going. Cut to the guy having to demonstrate how to do an ‘inguinal/femoral hernia examination’ on her. Awkward. The GYN says: “while I’m doing my exam, she breaks out in hysterical laughter which causes me to lose it and start laughing at the absurdity of the situation as well.” Two weeks later, she’s back in the clinic for a follow up. The GYN adds: “We talk for a while about how she’s feeling, how awkward our second meeting was and then just shoot the sh*t for a bit when she goes: “So when are you going to take me out to dinner?” Did they end up dating? Well this GYN says he ‘politely declined’ as he had a girlfriend at the time.

10. Women can get rough

Anyone who’s ever had a pelvic exam or cervical screening knows things can kinda get uncomfortable in the lady canal. It’s just one of those things but this gynecologist’s confession will leave women reeling. He says that sometimes “a female ob/gyn can be rougher with the exam or less sympathetic about physical complaints presumably because the female doctor has gone through childbirth or a pap smear and feels like it’s no big deal.” With many women opting for a female GYN to avoid this kind of thing, that’s a real shocker. He did add that as “he has no idea what it feels like to have a pap smear” but knows it can cause discomfort for some women, he’s now sensitive to causing patients discomfort during a speculum exam.

9. Strange small talk

So while some of the questions and answers got graphic and gross, this question on Reddit revealed a lighter moment amid the horrors of being a GYN. One intrigued Redditor asked: “What’s the oddest/strangest thing a patient has said to you while you were inside them?” The reply is kinda left field … The GYN replied: “I had a patient who quoted a comment from a CNN article, something along the lines of “If my vagina had a voice, I’d imagine that it would sound like Chef from South Park. I thought that was pretty funny.” Which only made me wonder if the voice knew the words to Chocolate Salty Balls?

8. It’s not the lady garden you have to worry about…

Now we’ve got the personal grooming stuff down, women can get their OB/GYN appointment done safe in the knowledge that their groomed and gorgeous parts aren’t going to cause a problem. But one gynecologist’s confession revealed that we’ve been worrying about the wrong thing all along. When asked if any stanky grossness has ‘sicked him out’ over the years, he replied, “no, but you b*itches need to wash your f**king FEET!” Apparently women’s festering feet are the gross out body part in the gynecological world. Who knew? I predict a sharp rise in the sale of Odor Eaters in the near future …

7. When life gives you lemons …

So far the confessions on our list have been fairly tame. But things are about to get nasty. You see aside from all the routine and everyday exams, doctors and gynecologists see their fair share of horrific sights. And then they have to do something about them. One Redditor’s wife, who’s an OB/GYN shared this gross out moment from her career. He said: “She had an obese diabetic woman come in with an abscess the size of a lemon on her labia. when they lanced it the abscess exploded missing my wife but hitting her nurse.” That’s a really bad day at the office, right? What’s worse? He added: “She described the smell as worse than a thousand decaying bodies and the nurse with over ten years of experience proceeded to throw up all over the exam room.” Clean up in aisle four …

6. Lost inside

Most women find some OB/GYN stories hard to believe. The most shocking are those which tell tales of tampons being lost inside or, worse still, left inside for days, weeks or even months. Gag. Obviously gynecologists would know if these were just urban myths, and I’m sorry to say that this really does happen. And it really is as gross as it sounds. Just listen to this reddit revelation. “My sister’s boyfriend was doing a gyno rotation. He was quite upset, as he was examining a woman that from sight and smell alone it was obvious she had cervical cancer so advanced that she wasn’t going to make it. For the first time on that rotation he had to warn someone about their imminent death. It was all very depressing and solemn, so it was quite a relief when it turned out to be a tampon that had been in there long enough to resemble a tumour.”

5. Just say no …

Still holding on to your lunch? This next one might make you feel a little queasy. A common confession from gynecologists seems to involve women with drug habits and the effects they can have on their female reproductive systems. This next case takes things to a whole new level though. A Redditor shares a story from his ex-girlfriend’s dad’s career – which presumably pretty much haunted him ever since. The Redditor says the worst case he ever had was a woman who was a heroin addict. For whatever reason she had to get creative with where she injected. Apparently, she considered her labia a good place. That was until they went gangrene on her.” Remember kids, just say no. And if you can’t say no, just don’t inject it anywhere NEAR there, ok?

4. Play safe

Next time you want get down and dirty with someone you just met, you may want to get tested first. This next confession brings a startling visual to mind that might not only put you off doing the deed ever again, but also might leave you with an irrational fear of cauliflower. One gynecologist on Reddit shared the story of the worst case of genital warts he’d seen, saying: “I’ve seen a lot of bad stuff, but one of the worst was someone who had genital warts the size of cauliflower florets that essentially replaced the entire lower vagina.” Adding that the girl was pretty young, and under 20 he didn’t answer a cheeky Redditor who followed up with the question: “Did you snip them off and arrange those florets into a beautiful bouquet?”

3. The grossest thing you’ve ever seen?

When you’re dealing with body parts that have gone wrong, as a doctor, there’s going to be a whole host of disgusting answers to that question. And, oh boy, was Reddit full of grossness (see below) but I guess in a whole world of foul things it’s going to be the unusual or disturbing that stands out. One gynecologist simply said: “I’m going to say all patients +400 lbs come to mind, but you know, there’s also some almost indescribable crap that you see in GYN oncology (cancer can actually be pretty disgusting).” He added the ‘more exotic grossness’ he’s seen were tumours filled with jelly and hair. He didn’t say much more, and actually there are just some details you just don’t need in your life.

2. Obesity

As medicine has advanced OB/GYNs have discovered some medical issues are best referred to a urologist. One urologist’s worst experience is the stuff of nightmares or, possibly a niche fetish dream for feeders and fat lovers. Over to the urologist for the grim deets. She says: [My] worst experience was as a medical student visiting at a Midwest medical school. The patient was an insanely morbidly obese woman. When the time came for the exam, they had to assign a medical resident to either side of her to hold back her panis just to get access to the labia.” Time to step in here and explain the panis is basically the stomach flap. She continues: “We aren’t talking holding fat up, we’re talkin’ holding fat back side-to-side like a barn door. When they finally got it open, the aged attending physician who had seen it all had to turn away from the stench to avoid vomiting.” Luckily for the urologist, being just a student she was observing from a reasonable distance but adds: “her favorite part was watching the faces of the residents left holding the panis as the attending fled.”

1. Frog horror …

If you’ve made it this far, well done. We’ve covered some grim topics together and hopefully everyone’s still holding on to their lunch. That’s probably all about to change …

An overweight woman booked an appointment for an STD test and pelvic exam, complaining of “a colorful discharge, an awful stench, and burning during urination.” The patient assumed she had gonorrhea. She was so wrong. It was much worse. The brave OB/GYN gets in there for the pelvic exam, saying that all the while they were “assaulted by the stench of rot.” He finds the source of the problem. It was, and I quote, ”a f**king dead frog in her vagina.” Heavily decomposed, it had to be pulled out piece by piece. We’re all now wondering how that happened, right? Apparently she’d passed out naked at a party at her boyfriend’s house, and said one of his friends must have thought it would be hilarious to put a live frog in her lady canal. Not phased by the decomposing amphibian inside her apparently she was just relieved she didn’t have gonorrhea.