Criminals in the movies are smart, calculated evil masterminds who meticulously plan every single robbery down to a T. They’ve got the weapons, the getaway car and the lavish lifestyles. Dangerous, usually painfully good looking and sometimes with a couple of cops in their pocket, movie criminals make it look easy. In reality, it isn’t.

For all the robberies that happen in the world, there are even more that don’t work out. Any fool with a silly idea and a can-do attitude can have a crack at robbing a grocery store, or even a bank. The trouble is, they’re complete idiots with no clue what they’re doing. These are just penniless twerps with a banana and a dream. While you have to commend them for their attempts at swindling banks out of thousands of dollars, you have to simultaneously laugh at them for ever thinking they would actually get away with it.

Some of the perps we’re going to look at are little more than giant adult babies with no respect for human intelligence and their lack thereof. They are only good for one thing – our entertainment.

Settle in and let’s have a look at 15 Robberies That Spectacularly Backfired.

15. MARKER PEN MASKS

You don’t have to be a criminal mastermind to know that covering your face when committing a robbery is one of the most important things – that is, if you don’t want to get caught. After all, who wants a witness who could potentially pick them out of a line up? This pair of idiots clearly hadn’t thought it through when they tried to break in to a residence in Iowa. Joey Miller and Matthew McNelly spectacularly failed, and the marker pen masks actually worked against them when a bystander called the police, who stopped the ‘men with painted faces’ as they tried to flee the scene. Bravo, guys.

14. A COMEDY OF ERRORS

If a robbery is going to go wrong, at least make it funny. This trio of fools attempted to rob Rothesay bank in Glasgow in 1975, but things started to wrong from the off. For a start, as they tried to enter the building, they got stuck in the revolving doors. As they were unarmed, staff didn’t recognize they were robbers and helped them out of the doors, only for them to return later on and demand £5,000. Still reeling from the incident earlier, the staff couldn’t stop laughing enough to take the hold-up seriously. Things went from bad to worse for the gang as the leader lowered the demand to £500 – which just brought about further laughter. In an attempt to get the money himself, one of the men jumped over the counter and twisted his ankle. The rest of the robbers tried to flee out of the revolving doors…and got stuck again. You couldn’t make this up.

13. LET ME UPDATE MY STATUS FIRST

Maxi Sopo was on the run from the police after taking out a bunch of loans totalling over $200,000 under false pretenses. He fled the country and pretty much got off scot free as he lived it up on the beaches of Cancun, becoming a regular on the party circuit. For some criminals, doing the crime isn’t enough. Sopo decided to commit the ultimate crime – stupidity. He started posting to Facebook about his amazing life in Cancun, strangely even adding a former Justice Department official to his friends list. Needless to say, it didn’t take cops long to crack down on Sopo and throw him in Mexico City Jail where he was extradited on bank fraud charges. So close and yet so far.

12. POINTS FOR INGENUITY

Back in 2011, 53-year-old North Carolina native Michael Anthony Fuller decided to become an evil mastermind. His plan was noble, it was worthy – it was also utterly ridiculous. Fuller visited his local Walmart store and went on a little shopping spree, picking up a vacuum, microwave and other miscellaneous bits. When he went to pay the $476 bill, he calmly handed over a novelty million-dollar note. He expected the staff to take it as legal tender and give him $999,524 in change, to boot. Regardless of the sheer insanity of the plan, did he not stop to think that a Walmart probably wouldn’t keep that amount on the premises? The mind boggles. He was promptly arrest and bailed for $17,500.

11. IS THAT A BANANA?

North Carolina teen John Szwalla thought he was a genius when he came up with this one. Instead of going through all the channels to get a gun like any self-respecting convict, he opted to use a banana instead. When he tried to rob a store, Szwalla held the banana underneath his jacket, making out like he was carrying a gun to the staff. He demanded money from the till, but was jumped by a brave customer before things escalated. The customer knocked Szwalla to the ground, exposing his…banana. The police were called as he was detained, and in a strange twist Szwalla ate the evidence. It didn’t work as the banana peel remained and the displeased teen was charged with attempted armed robbery.

10. NEVER BRING A KNIFE TO A GUNFIGHT

Well, you’ve all heard the saying never bring a knife to a gun fight, but what about bringing a baseball bat to a gun store? Derrick Mosley casually walked into the Southwest Beaverton Discount Gun Sales shop a couple of years back and attempted to steel guns from a glass case by smashing the display unit with a baseball bat. He was soon stopped in his tracks as the shop owner was packing and pulled his gun on the would-be villain. Mosley was detained until police arrived. He was later charged with first-degree robbery, second-degree criminal mischief and unlawful possession of a firearm.

9. AIRPlane TICKET ROBBERY

This one is changing tracks slightly. While it’s not strictly a robbery as such, it’s in keeping with our theme – and it’s a great story. A young Asian man who was never publicly identified wanted so badly to fly from Hong Kong to Vancouver, but he didn’t have the right documents. Rather than get the right documents like any normal person, he managed to get hold of the boarding bass of a 70-year-old U.S citizen and donned a very realistic silicone mask. Shockingly, he managed to board the plane with no issues. It was only when staff noticed the hands of the man were young that things started to go awry. When the man went to the bathroom and came out without the mask, the jig was up. He was arrested on landing in Vancouver, where he requested refugee protection.

8. A TWIST OF FATE

Gang member Anthony Garcia murdered a rival gang member 13 years ago and got away with it for over seven years. What went wrong, I hear you ask? Garcia was even stupider than Mario Supo and got the crime scene tattooed on his body. Fate intervened when Garcia was arrested for minor offences in 2011. Because it’s customary to take note of any distinctive features on a criminal, his tattoos were photographed. Not long after, the homicide detective who had worked on the murder case was looking at perp photos when he spotted Garcia. A sting operation was set up and they managed to get a confession out of the killer, who was convicted for first degree murder.

7. EATIN’ CASH After A Robbery

John Morgan spent 5 years behind bars for bank robbery, but it didn’t stop there. Clearly a sucker for a good ol’ heist, Morgan returned to his criminal ways shortly after he was released from prison. His target was the Savings Bank of Asheville in Ohio, where he took out a large amount of money. While he got away, it didn’t end there. Clearly proud of what he’d done, he stopped to take selfies with the large wads of cash with his 24-year-old girlfriend, Ashley Duboe. After the police found out the pictures were on Facebook, he was quickly arrested and put safely back behind bars where he belongs.

6. NOTE TO SELF: TAKE KEYS

This is one for the history books. Moshood Kayode Olad Itabiyi (that’s a long name) robbed Northview Bank in Minnesota when he held a teller at gunpoint and demanded money. It was going well for Itabiyi until he got to his getaway vehicle only to realize that he’d locked his keys inside the car. Not one to give up easily, the perp went to the nearest residential garage and used a hammer to break in to another car. Despite his best efforts, Itabiyi was pulled over by cops and swiftly arrested. He was charged with first-degree aggravated robbery and third-degree burglary.

5. LET ME JUST SHUT MY EYES FOR A SECOND

Did you think that committing a crime must be all adrenaline and fear that gives you an unbelievable buzz? You’re probably right, but for this criminal it was all too much. Dion Davis broke into a home and proceeded to rob the place. Clearly a big ol’ sleepy head, Davis couldn’t resist the sight of the queen size bed in the master suite and lay down for a nap. The cleaning lady soon found him and called 911. Cops turned up and snapped pictures of him arm in arm with his bag of stolen loot – and he still didn’t wake up. What a way to botch a robbery that he could’ve gotten away with.

4. TAKE THE PLUNGE(R)

We’ve seen a banana used as a weapon. That’s one thing. A plunger? That’s an entirely different matter. 49-year-old Lawrence Deptola walked into a Utica bank and threatened the teller with a toilet plunger. Oddly, it worked and the teller handed over the cash. Alas, it wasn’t to be as authorities caught up with Deptola, stripping him of the plunger and his cash. Deptola did try and outrun the police, but as he was out of shape, he didn’t get far. Well, it’s safe to say that his criminal career was swiftly flushed down the toilet, never to resurface again.

3. HITMAN WANTED on Craigslist

Let’s switch this up temporarily to murder. If you don’t know how to hire a hitman, why not pop a quick ad on Craigslist. After all, they have everything on there, right? That’s exactly the train of thought Megan Schmidt followed when she tried to hire someone to kill her own father. Although the words ‘hit man’ were left out of the advertisement, the $10,000 in cash was a big giveaway, and on calling the number Schmidt openly admitted she was looking for someone to take care of her father. Eventually the ad was reported to police who arranged a meeting with Schmidt with an undercover agent posed as a potential assassin. Schmidt handed over the photograph and thought the deal was done when she was arrested and charged with attempted murder and solicitation to commit murder.

2. Come Back In An Hour

Sometimes, the best way to deal with criminals is to play them at their own game. Remain calm and collected and think fast – it just might save you thousands of dollars. Mario Garcia and Domingo Garcia-Hernandez strolled into the Clifton Grill in West Rogers Park, Chicago, with every intention of robbing them blind. They threatened to kill the owner if he didn’t oblige. Not one to be shaken easily, the owner said he just didn’t have time to deal with them at that moment, but if they could come back in an hour he would cooperate. Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum came back 60 minutes later and demanded $100 and food. The owner ‘went to get his check book’ and called the police. The two were arrested.

1. FACEBOOK STRIKES AGAIN

Social media is a fantastic thing. In another case of idiot-turned-criminal, Anthony Lescowitch takes the biscuit. He and three other friends robbed and assaulted an individual. When the sheriff’s department shared his mugshot on Facebook, Lescowitch obviously thought it was hella cool and got a little too excited over his claim to fame. He liked and shared the post, like a grade-A ass, boasting that he would never be found. The cops proved him wrong when they managed to coax him out to a meeting with an undercover cop pretending to be a woman. He was arrested 45 minutes later. Are there no ends to the stupidity of wannabe crooks? It appears not.

Sources: thethings.com whatculture.com