We hear it all the time. Holding on can be worth it sometimes, but true strength comes in letting go. And those words may seem like some sage pearls of wisdom when you’re considering letting go of that job you hate, or that burger that doesn’t taste so good. But, what about when you’re thinking about letting go of that lady in your life? It’s fair to say that things can get really messy and complicated.

In the here and now, letting go is never easy, but even though it may be difficult in the moment, it can save a lot of heartache further down the line.

When your relationship doesn’t feel right, then it’s all kinds of wrong. When something seems off, then chances are you are not imagining it. When you find yourself doubting whether she’s a keeper, that’s probably because there are a lot of signs pointing to the fact that she’s not.

But, how do you really know when it’s time to let her go? How can you distinguish between the love of your life and the escape of the decade? How can you be certain that she isn’t the one?

In this article, we’re taking a closer look at the 15 signs that it might be time to let her go.

15. She’s Not Making You Happy

The happiest people on planet earth aren’t always clapping along with the Pharrell Williams’ song every single second of every single day. Being a human is a complex thing, right?

But, we all have a baseline of happiness we want to maintain, and the people we invite into our lives our supposed to contribute to that happiness.

Is this relationship with this woman adding to your happiness? Remember, anything that isn’t adding to your happiness is actually doing the opposite – it’s taking away from your happiness. And life is far too short for that.

If you’re not feeling happy in your relationship the majority of the time, then Houston, we have a problem. A very big problem.

14. She Doesn’t Share Your Values

So, you think having things in common is the most important aspect of your relationship? Not necessarily the case at all. Common interests are, of course, crucial if the relationship is going to go anywhere, but common values are so much more important. Yes, in serious relationships, common values is the biggie.

Your common interests may be the very reason you were attracted to each other in the first place, but common values are what will keep you together long after the early honeymoon phase is over.

What are your core values? What beliefs do you hold? Does she share them? Is there common ground? If your values do not match, or if they’re as different as night and day, it might be time to let her go.

13. She’s Inconsistent

Consistency is one of the building blocks of all good relationships. Nothing screams “I’m into you” louder than consistency. When a girl really likes you, her behaviour will be stable and constant. Sure, she might have to cancel a plan or two here or there but if this becomes a pattern, then this is a major problematic sign that you’ll probably need to break it off.

Someone who sees a future with you will not be hot and cold. Her feelings will remain consistent. If your lady wavers between wanting to see you one day and showing no interest the next, consider that behaviour a major red flag.

12. You Change Who You Are Around Her

If you find that you constantly have to change who you are just to be with your girl, it might be time to let her go.

You are a person of substance and great character, right? Why then, should you have to change major aspects of your personality just to accommodate her? The answer is you shouldn’t. Ever. Not ever.

The person you are meant to be with will appreciate who you are and will never ask or expect you to change that. If you feel the need to hide aspects of who you are, or if you’re exhausted from trying to fit into her world, one thing is certain: she doesn’t belong in yours.

11. She Doesn’t Listen

Is she actively listening to what you have to say or is she just passing the time waiting for her opportunity to speak?

Communication is vital in any relationship, and it has got to be a two-way street. If you are doing all of the listening and she is doing all of the talking, things may not be headed where you thought they were. If she values you, your opinions, and your relationship then she will be eager to hear you speak at every opportunity. If she is constantly interrupting you, checking out of the conversation, or, even worse, constantly checking her phone, it might be time to let her go.

10. She’s Overly Needy

All great relationships have a certain underlying level of dependence. You can depend on her, she can depend on you, isn’t that how most connections work? But, the fine lines between dependence and neediness can sometimes become blurred.

If the woman in your life is constantly looking for your attention, if she’s always craving your emotional energy, or if she is always relying on your money or your praise, you might want to reconsider the relationship. A needy partner will completely drain your emotional reserves, leaving you exhausted. If you notice the signs of neediness creeping into your relationship, it might be time to rethink the relationship altogether.

9. You Can’t Trust Her

Is there anything more important in a relationship than trust? The cornerstone of every type of relationship, trust is the foundation of all meaningful connections. If you find yourself questioning whether or not you trust her, your relationship is on a very slippery slope.

Trust builds relationships, mistrust tears them down. Ask yourself where you stand. Do you trust her? Are your brain and your heart in sync with your answer? From keeping your deepest, darkest secrets, to faithfully upholding the bond of your relationship, if you find yourself questioning her trust, it might be time to remove her from your life.

8. She Doesn’t Make You a Priority

On any given day, most of us are crazy busy. We all have a thousand and one things to take care of. We all have important things constantly vying for our time and attention. Busyness is a given. People are busy every second of every day, and yet, they manage to nurture successful, loving relationships.

If your girl does not make time for your relationship, and if she doesn’t make spending time with you a priority, it might be time to reassess the nature of your relationship. Does that mean that she has to be around all the time? Of course not. But, if she misses you, she’ll make time for that call. If she values your time together, she’ll send you that text.

7. She Reminds You of Your Ex

Are the patterns of your old relationship on repeat in this new one? Do you find that the same dramas, the same situations and the same conflicts keep reappearing over and over again? If this sounds like something you recognize, you may have reached the point of no return.

You and your ex broke up for a reason, right? Why would you hang around in an almost identical relationship waiting for the same things to happen again? Your ex didn’t give you what you wanted or needed, and this girl who reminds you of your ex is unlikely to do so either. This may well be a real life case of “it’s not me, it’s you.” Either way, it’s probably time to let her go.

6. You Don’t Feel Good Enough

For most people, self-doubt will always play a role in life. But, certain areas of our lives should serve to soothe those fears and doubts. The relationship you share with the woman in your life should be a safe place of love and connection. It should build you up when the world wants to break you down.

In a healthy, loving relationship, both people feel like equal partners. Both feel lucky to have the other. If feeling inferior is part of your daily routine, you are purchasing a one-way ticket to misery. The heart that is meant to love you will never make you feel that you are not good enough. And if you do find yourself in that perpetual state, perhaps it’s time to have another look at the relationship.

5. She’s Not Committed

In the long term, relationships only work when both people are equally invested. If you find that you are giving all the commitment but are receiving little in return, it might be time to let her go.

When a woman really loves you, nothing will stop her from declaring it so. When she truly sees a future with you, you won’t be confused about her intentions, she will shout them out loud and proud. Commitment isn’t a scary prospect to people who are really in love. If you are the only one planning for the future, or if you’ve gone all in and you’re still waiting for her to catch up, it might be time to do yourself a favour and move on.

4. Your Relationship is Based Mainly on Physical Attraction

What’s that you say? Just the sight of her makes you weak at the knees? She has the face you always dreamed of and the body you always craved? Yes, but… hang on a second. Not so fast!

What about her personality? What about the beauty that lies within? In the early stages of a relationship, her inner charm may not be all that important to you. But when the fuzzy honeymoon phase passes, having nothing in common and nothing to talk about will become an insurmountable issue. A pretty face is one thing. A beautiful companion is quite another.

If your relationship is based purely on physical attraction, it might be time to let her go.

3. You Fight On a Loop

A relationship is never going to be sunshine and rainbows all of the time. Conflict is bound to arise, and arguments are a given. But, in the most successful relationships, couples manage to argue constructively. In good relationships, fighting can actually strengthen the bond. Feeling that your concerns are heard in an argument, and having your thoughts and feelings acknowledged works to increase trust and intimacy.

Are your arguments all one-sided? Is your relationship in a state of constant conflict? Do your arguments leave you feeling worse rather than better afterwards? If so, it might be time for a major relationship rethink.

2. You Wonder What the Point of It All Is

Relationships sometimes cause you to re-evaluate things in your life. But, if you wonder more often than not what the point of your relationship is, consider that a major red flag.

You’re supposed to feel good in your relationship. This girl is supposed to make your world a better place. Positive relationships are not magic tricks, they do exist and they work to uplift both people. It’s true that rough patches will emerge along the way, but the good times should outweigh the bad. Hugely. If you are at a place where negative experiences are overwhelming you, or if you find yourself questioning whether you should continue with this girl, it might be time to let her go.

1. You Live in the Past or the Future and Never the Present

When you’re in a relationship with the wrong person, you might find yourself reminiscing about the past. It used to be better, you used to have fun, she used to rock your world. What has happened to who you both used to be together?

Similarly, you might also choose to live for the future. Armed with your happy memories, you now go ahead and create future memories in your head. Things can get better. You were happy once, you can be happy again. While this may be true, if the present is too painful to actually experience, you might be deluding yourself. If the past and the future promise more than the present, it might be time to let her go.