Like in any new relationship, everything seems to be going smoothly. You are having a lot of fun. You are spending more and more time with each other yet you still enjoy each other’s company. You start discovering things, some of these make you like her more but some make you realize that she is more like your mom. You scratch your head whenever something like this happens. “Oh, sh*t. Did she just do that? She is soooo like my mom,” you tell yourself. These similarities that start to unravel makes it harder for you un-see that this relationship is like dating your mom and it is weird. It is not always a bad thing but it gets you all confused.

She did not change. You just did not notice it before when you were so head over heels and nothing else mattered. We may call them red flags but you did not see them because you were wearing rose-tinted glasses when you started dating her. It is inevitable that you have to take off those glasses sometime, and now, you see all the signs.

15. She thinks you’re a mama’s boy so she acts like your mama

She thinks that all the things in your life revolve around your mama. Sure, you consider your mom’s pieces of advice important but you don’t just decide based on what she says. Maybe you consult with her from time to time but that doesn’t mean you’re a mama’s boy.

However, she takes this as a hard fact so she tries to act like your mom and she treats you like her baby. You only have one mom and that is enough. You don’t need another one. You should make that clear to her so that she will recognize that you are equals. She is your girlfriend so she should act like it and not like your mom who will always see you as her little boy.

14. She cooks you food…all the time

It is sweet if she cooks for you every once in a while but if she cooks for you all the time then that might be another thing. It is a nice gesture if she surprises you with breakfast in bed because it is your birthday but if she does this often then it is no longer a surprise. The romance somewhat disappears. Unless she is a chef who enjoys letting you try dishes she is experimenting with, if she cooks for you all the time, it seems that she is more like your mom instead of a romantic partner. Do not let her take over the kitchen because soon she is already taking over your entire abode.

Maybe do a little cooking so she can see you can do it yourself. Prepare a quick meal for her, even something as simple as a sandwich.

13. She does all your errands

Big or small, she does all your errands for you. She is like your mom who makes sure that all your tasks at home are done by her so you have more time to do other things. However, that feels wrong. As an adult, you should be doing all of these things on your own. She can join you every now and then, like on a short trip to the grocery but she should not be doing your grocery shopping on her own and she should not be doing it all the time.

You should be doing your errands so you can make sure that your choices are taken correctly. It can be a concern if she does your errands like your grocery shopping because she might buy things you don’t really like.

12. She does your laundry

Part of being an adult is learning to do your laundry. When you lived at home, your mom used to do this for you. Actually, when you moved out to college, there may still be times that you bring home your bag of dirty laundry for her to do. Now, fast forward to today, you finally found someone you are getting pretty serious with. Then, one Friday night or one Saturday morning, you find her working on the washing machine and dryer. You think, “Cool, she does the laundry.” But then it happens again and again, and you begin to feel like she is like your mom. Sometimes, you even see her folding your clothes and arranging your closet. Even when you don’t leave your dirty laundry piled up, she still sees to it that the hamper is always empty. Sometimes, she even scolds you of your dirty laundry.

11. She chooses your wardrobe

She chooses what clothes to buy, she picks what you’re going to wear today, and she does everything close to literally dressing you. She acts like your mom doing some clothes shopping for you as if you were going back to school. She can buy you a dress shirt from time to time, but she should not be doing it all the time. If she does, then, she is acting like your mom preparing everything you are going to wear for the day. You don’t want that kind of child treatment from your girlfriend. You should be able to choose you own clothes, wear whatever you deem suitable, and buy new clothes that you like. You don’t tell her what to wear so she should not decide what your wardrobe is all the time.

10. She tidies up your home

She takes care of all the mess in your house no matter how small the mess is. You forgot to wash the cup you used to have coffee, she washes it for you. You left your shoes by the door, she picks them up and moves them for you. She takes out the trash regularly. Aside from feeling like she’s your mom cleaning up after you, it also feels like she’s your maid. You can clean up fine, it’s just that you do it at a later time, and when you do it everything is spic and span. Avoid this by cleaning as often and as immediately as possible. Don’t wait for her to do it for you because if she does this regularly, it might get weird. She might even end up nagging you.

9. She is immediately by your side when you are not well

It is okay if she takes care of you from time to time when you get gets sick. However, if she is always by your side no matter how trivial your ‘sickness’ is or how little the discomfort you feel, she might be your personal nurse and not your girlfriend. You should be able to take care of yourself too, especially if your illness is nothing serious. She is not your mom who should always make you hot soup and then feed you because your wisdom tooth was extracted.

A grown man is not weak and you can take care of yourself even if you are not at your best at times. You can go to the doctor and buy your medicines, and you don’t need to always ask her to do all those things for you.

8. She is your alarm clock

When she stays the night, she wakes you up the next morning so you won’t be late to the office. That sounds fine but when she is not around, she still wakes you up by sending you a private message or calling you in the morning. In other cases, she even sets your alarm clock on your phone so you don’t forget. Heck, she even got you a real alarm clock for Christmas. That is an overkill. She is not your girlfriend, she is your mom making sure you are never tardy for school, I mean, office.

She does not need to remind all the time about how you use your time. You are responsible enough to wake up early so you can get to the office without being late.

7. She drives you wherever you go

If she does this, she will end up driving you crazy too. She does not need to drive you wherever you go. You have your own car, you know how to drive, and you can go wherever you want to without her consent and her driving you around. Eventually it will feel like she is your mom bringing you to soccer practice whenever you decide to go out. Keep in mind that you are the man in the relationship and not a little boy whose mommy drives to the toy store.

If you don’t have a car and she does, learn to drive so you can use her car to drive her where she needs to go and not the other way around. Or just use the bus or the train. You’re old enough to have a girlfriend so you’re old enough to take public transportation.

6. She sets your curfew

After driving you to your friend’s house, she tells you that you need to be home by 10 PM. She even yells that in front of your friends, and that can be very embarrassing. She is like your mom telling you that you have a curfew.

Curfews are for kids. You are not a kid and you are not her kid. She is definitely not your mom so she should not be telling you when you should get home. You can go home at any time you like because you can take care of yourself. You are not a kid who is afraid of the dark. You can got out, have a few drinks with friends, and then go home when the sun rises. You can just enjoy and have a great time without setting a time limit for yourself because of your girlfriend.

5. She gives you money

You are an adult with a job so she should not take you as someone who just lives via her spare change. She may be earning more than you but that does not mean she needs to support you financially. Maybe she can pick the check every now and then, but she should not pay for everything when you spend time together. If you are really out of a lot of cash, you can be creative on dates without spending a fortune.

She is not your mom who should be giving you a regular allowance. Instead, she should see you as a man who can provide especially if you are already getting serious with the relationship and planning to have a life together in the future.

4. She buys you toys

Yes, there are toys for the big boys and you might be a collector of specific toys. However, she does not need to answer to your desires by getting you all the toys that you want. She is your girlfriend and you know that. She is not your mom who showers you with toy gifts and she is definitely not Santa Claus who rewards you for being nice. As a real collector, you will want to get your toys on your own with your own money. That feels more satisfying rather than her giving you toys all the time.

It is okay if it is your birthday and she decides to give you that vintage Star Wars figurine you’ve been searching for a long time. Otherwise, she should leave you and your hobby alone.

3. She makes excuses for your bad behaviour

A mom will go leaps and bounds to cover for her young ones, so if she keeps on making excuses because she thinks you behaved incorrectly then she might be more your mom than your girlfriend. In reality, nobody is perfect so if she really wants to be your significant other, she should learn to accept that sometimes you make wrong decisions and react poorly to things. She should not be always trying to cover up for you but instead, she should provide constructive criticism so you can improve yourself.

Also, she should let you learn to stand up for yourself and make up for your mistakes. The only way you can do this is if she lets you clean up after yourself after behaving badly.

2. She sees you as her baby and not as her boyfriend

She scolds you even in public occasions like a kid being told off by his mother. She treats you not like a romantic partner – an adult – but more like a child who she should shape and nurture. She behaves as if she is the boss of you, but in reality, she should not be. You may have a few meltdowns from time to time, that is understandable, but she treats you as if you are just having temper tantrums. She does not need to pacify or console you all the time because you can cool down on your own.

Don’t let her treat you like a child. You are a grown man so she should learn to treat you as one. You are equals and you are not her kid. She is not your mom either.

1. She nags you all the time

Nagging him sometimes is normal, but nagging him all day, every day is you being like his mom. If you always have to scold him because he does not do the things you ask of him, then you are a like a mom to a rebel teenager. Don’t get stuck in this kind of relationship. If you always have to ask him more than once to do things, or if you have to ask him at all because he does not take the initiative, he is either not listening to you or he does not see you as a partner. He sees you more as someone who will just do things for him, and then nag.

Don’t be like a broken record to him. A grown man listens and he will respect you by taking care of his responsibilities without being told.