If you feel like your girlfriend has been acting different lately, and you don’t feel as connected to her, that could be because she’s cheating.

There are two types of cheating: emotional and physical; and there are a number of tell-tale signs for both of these actions. The emotional side of cheating is when someone is developing real feelings for someone else — you know this is happening when you’re excited to see them, you think about them all the time, and you get butterflies when you’re with them… If someone is cheating emotionally they’re probably going to be on their phone. A lot. And they’re also going to be keeping those messages a secret from you because they know they have something to hide.

Then there’s the physical side of cheating, which is probably the more obvious one and needs no explanation for what happens when someone strays. It’s also easier to catch a cheater this way because the signs are much clearer, like staying out late and having different smells on their clothes. Still not sure? Below are 15 signs that your girlfriend could be cheating on you — and if you suspect she might be, it’s probably time to have a long chat.

15.  She’s not physically interested in you anymore

A lack of intimacy in the relationship is perhaps one of the biggest tell-tale signs that something is up. It doesn’t necessarily mean that your girlfriend is cheating, and really, there could be a number of other contributing factors which have caused this — for example, she’s exhausted from work, she’s stressed, she feels bloated, or has low self-esteem. That said, a lack of interest in the physical, and general lack of intimacy, is a common sign that your girlfriend is cheating.

If you find that it’s been weeks without sex, and she’s constantly making up excuses for why she doesn’t want to be physical with you, it’s maybe time that you discussed it. She could be getting it elsewhere, but there could also be another problem you’re overlooking which needs to be addressed.

14. She’s being shady with her phone

If your girlfriend has suddenly become a lot more secretive about her phone — and she’s always on it, no matter what you’re doing — and you’re now no longer allowed to touch it or go anywhere near it — then it’s a pretty obvious sign that she’s hiding something! And could that something, be a lover?

According to an article in Huffington Post, women tend to work harder than men at covering up their cheating; so if your girlfriend is straying, she probably has a lot of really well thought-out answers as to why she’s always on her phone. Maybe she’s constantly reading work emails, maybe her friends can’t stop messaging her, or maybe it’s her “mom” just checking in. It could be any of those things, but it’s probably not.

13. An unexplained change in her schedule

Schedules change and of course, there are going to be times when your girlfriend is going to work longer hours than usual, especially if there is a project deadline to meet. However, if there is suddenly an unexplained shift in her schedule, and she’s constantly making excuses for why she can’t come home or hang out with you — and really, the excuses are insanely unbelievable — then she may be deciding not to come home for a reason.

People who are cheating are obviously going to need to find time to do it, and she’s not going to just bring the guy to your house. If she’s staying out late, working to unexplained schedules, and just never available anymore (emotionally or physically) then yes, she could be cheating.

12. She’s obsessed with her appearance

If your girlfriend used to lay around the house wearing sweatpants and no makeup, but she’s now got a full face of makeup and hot new clothes on every day. This could mean one of three things: she’s trying to ignite the passion in your relationship again (but if point fifteen isn’t happening, then it’s probably not this), she’s taking better care of herself because she wants to look great for herself, or lastly, she’s trying to catch the eye of another man.

When a woman gets into a new relationship she usually wants to impress the man. This means dressing nicely and looking her best. Think about it, would you turn up to a first date in scruffy pants or worn jeans? Probably not, but when you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, those items are fair game! So, if you’ve suddenly started to notice a big change in her appearance, this could be why.

11. She needs her privacy

You’ve noticed that your girlfriend couldn’t get enough of you before, and she was desperate to spend all her free-time with you. But now she’s making excuses not to be around you because “she needs her privacy.” Well, this could be a sign that she’s trying to work out how she feels about you and your relationship.

It could also mean that she has met someone else that she’s interested in, and she’s weighing up whether it’s worth pursuing or not. Of course, needing your privacy is not a definite sign that someone is cheating, and there are going to be times when your significant other legitimately needs a little alone time — and there’s nothing wrong with that! Don’t always assume the worst if this is a one-off incident, but don’t ignore all the signs either.

10. She starts getting an attitude

There are many reasons a woman can have an attitude (and that time of the month is often a culprit), but if your girlfriend has started to pick fights with you, and she’s suddenly changed the way she treats you, you should take note.

She could be lashing out at you because she’s unhappy in the relationship, or maybe she feels guilty about her side action, and is trying her best to push you away. It’s impossible to be sure of the exact reason this is happening without knowing the circumstances, but a change in attitude is definitely something you should keep tabs on. Even if there isn’t another man in the picture, if this is happening, there’s probably something wrong and the two of you need to hash it out.

9. She’s bored AF

You’ve noticed that your girlfriend is feeling bored with many aspects of her life? Maybe she seems disinterested in everything you used to do together? Maybe she’s desperate for a career change, a new wardrobe, or a trip away… anything just to break the monotony of her life. This could signal that she’s looking for a change, and a new lover could certainly present that.

Having a quarter-life (or mid-life) crisis is an actual thing! It’s an indication that something has to be either be improved or replaced. If your girlfriend seems bored, then it’s possible that she just needs to take a break from work, or do something she’s never done before, like get a new tattoo or learn to ride a bike. But what she shouldn’t be doing is getting bored with you; because that, my friend, is the big red flag!

8. She’s not jealous at all

Having a tiny bit of jealousy in a relationship is pretty normal. When you’re really into someone there are going to be certain things that make you tick. That feeling of getting mad because another girl is eyeballing your man is not unhealthy (of course there is a line that can be crossed here). Also, in a way this makes you feel wanted.

Jealousy’s not always a bad thing, being possessive is. Sometimes showing a little bit of jealousy just really means that they care. However, if you’re girlfriend is totally fine with you hanging out with your friends all the time, she’s not complaining when other girls hit on you, or if your ex-girlfriend sends you a random text, then maybe she’s too laid back for a reason — she doesn’t care.

7. She wants to know where you are

Your girlfriend’s desire to know where you are all the time is not always a bad thing, it could be because she really cares about you. But if it’s a culmination of many things that have made you suspicious (I mean, why else would you be reading this article), and she’s suddenly obsessed with what you’re doing, then yes, this is a bad sign.

Wanting to know your whereabouts could be because she is trying to plan her life, without you getting in the way of her affair. Like I said before, there are always other possibilities that could explain this change in behavior. It’s best to talk to your girlfriend (without jumping down her throat and accusing her of anything) about your concerns in a calm and mature way.

6. She isn’t noticing you

In general, women tend to be the more observant gender. They notice things that men sometimes miss, especially when it comes to a change in physical appearance. It may take you two days to notice what your girlfriend did differently with her hair, or maybe you didn’t notice that she bought a new dress for several months; in comparison, women usually pick up on these little things straight away. But if your girlfriend has suddenly stopped remarking on your appearance, and you seem to just be invisible to her, then she’s losing interest in you.

Could the relationship have run its course? Or maybe you weren’t giving her what she needed? That’s possible, but it could also be because she’s spending her time and effort on someone else,  and you are therefore not as important to her.

5. She’s being super nice

This may seem like a really odd reason why someone is cheating on you, but sometimes a cheater feels really bad, so they start to overcompensate. Maybe she’s started spoiling you more often or complimenting your appearance. She’s taking note of all of the little things and she’s going out of her way to show you that she cares.

According to reports, two of the biggest signs of guilt, when someone is cheating on you, is gifts and attention. Gifts will be especially noticeable if she has always been on the frugal side, and has now started splashing out on expensive presents. The attention is because your girlfriend wants to make up for her indiscretions. However, if she’s being nice to you, and it doesn’t come with several others points on this list, I wouldn’t be worried about it. She’s probably just been reminded how amazing you are and feels happy to be with you.

4. She never wants to go out with you

Another sign that your girlfriend could be cheating, is if she has suddenly stopped wanting to leave the house with you. This is a tactical decision because if she goes out with you by her side the chances of her being caught in a lie will drastically increase. You never know who you may run into while you’re out, and while it’s unlikely to be her lover, it could be a friend or a colleague that she has been using as an excuse for why she’s been out late.

Cheating actually takes a lot of work, and there is a lot of calculating and planning involved, so she’s probably been very careful to cover her tracks; which is why spontaneous dates and weekend trips have probably become a thing of the past in your relationship.

3. She’s so over the future

Your girlfriend was always discussing how amazing your futures together would be, and planning things — like trips, events, dates or milestones — but now she’s suddenly stopped. Or maybe she refers to your relationship in the past tense? These are signs that she is trying to get out of commitments.

Yes, it’s completely possible that she’s drowning under all her work and hasn’t had the luxury of planning a date night with you for a while, or maybe she can’t take time away to make that weekend break that you were speaking about two months ago. That said, on the other end of the scale, it’s also entirely possible that she wants her life to be devoid of commitments because she’s not too sure about how she feels about you. Or she needs that time to slot in her new lover.

2. Unexplained expenses

If you and your girlfriend have reached the stage where you are pretty serious about each other and live together and share expenses, then this should be a sign to watch out for! If there are suddenly unexplained expenses on your bank cards, then you’ve got to ask yourself what the heck has she been doing? I doubt it’s ever as simple and straightforward as in the movies when someone is trying to catch a cheating lover because. Unless she really wants to get caught, she’s not going to start charging hotel rooms to the card. Nope, it’s the little things.

Maybe there’s a chunk of change that’s been used on fancy lingerie that you’ve never seen, or charges for little gifts (that you definitely haven’t received).

1. She’s using a dating app

If you happen to be glancing over your friend’s shoulder while he users Tinder and spot your girlfriend on the app, then yes, she’s cheating. But what are the chances that you are actually going to find out that way? Unlikely.

There is a greater chance of you seeing little notifications pop up on her phone, or perhaps you accidentally spot the app while you’re looking over her shoulder. And then if she brushes it off like “Oh, Lisa [insert random girls name here] and I were just using it to laugh at all the desperate guys on there,” or an excuse that is as pathetic, you should be wary!

Girls do use Tinder as a form of entertainment, but it’s usually the single ones that do that. And how can you be sure that when she’s on there, she’s not going to be speaking to other guys?