Moving in together is a big stage in a relationship and it’s not a decision that can be made lightly. It can make or break a relationship. Even if you think you’re ready, you might be setting yourself up for a huge disappointment. Let’s face it, when you decide to move in with your girlfriend the dynamic of the relationship changes. That means that even though things are going really great now, it could go downhill from the moment you take that risk and move into a place together. Now, it’s not always a disaster. Sometimes, moving in with your partner can really strengthen your relationship. Not to mention the fact that you have more control and you get to see each other whenever you like. Of course, it’s not a walk in the park. If your relationship hasn’t reached a point where it’s stable, then you could be jeopardizing everything by moving too fast. Here’s 15 signs that you’re definitely not ready to move in together.

15. It’s too soon

If you’ve only been together for a few weeks or even a few months, it might feel like you’re simply not ready to take things any further. You might feel comfortable seeing your girlfriend twice a week but if you were living together you’d be seeing each other every day. That’s when your relationship changes. Right now, it feels fun and exciting but when you live together you’ll inevitably start arguing about who’s turn it is to cook dinner. Does it still sound like a good idea? Listen to what your gut is telling you. If you feel like it’s probably too soon, then you should rethink whether this is something that you want.

14. You’re fighting all of the time

Let’s be honest, if you’re already starting to argue then it’s only going to get worse from the moment you start living together. Although it should be an exciting time, it can also be incredibly stressful. There’s the viewings, the finances, and the endless disagreements about what you both want. Of course, arguing is healthy and it can actually strengthen your relationship but that depends on how you resolve the conflict. If you simply ignore it or walk away during an argument, then you run the risk of losing your partner. At this point, you should be asking yourself if you can handle moving in with someone who you’re always arguing with. It’s not a good sign.

13. You’re on a break

Your relationship is starting to resemble Ross and Rachel from Friends and that’s probably not a good thing. Sure, everything worked out for them in the end, but in real life, it’s not that simple. If your relationship is always on and off and you don’t know where you stand with them, then moving in together should be out of the question. Chances are, it’s not going to fix any of the problems that you’re having.

It might seem like it will bring you closer together but it will probably cause more problems for you. Taking a break can be great for your relationship but if it feels like you’re always breaking up and getting back together, then that’s an indication it probably isn’t going to last. Your relationship should be stable before you start living together. If it’s not, it’s a bad decision.

12. You’re broke

Needless to say, if you’ve got no money in your pocket or in your bank then moving in with your girlfriend is not an option. The idea of it might sound amazing but if you’re not financially stable, it’s simply not going to work out. You need to think carefully about if you can afford it. For example, you might be able to afford to rent a house or a flat but how much spending money would you have left after covering the cost of bills? Is it enough to live on? We can all get carried away sometimes but at the end of the day, if the money isn’t available then it will remain a dream, not a reality.

11. She’s broke

To be honest, it’s not going to work out unless you’re both financially stable. Even if you’re more than happy to pay her share, it’s not an ideal situation to be in. Firstly, there’s no telling if the relationship is going to last. It’s a possibility that she’s using you for your money and once she gets what she wanted, she could simply walk out of your life and leave you with a ton of bills and a lot of regrets. Secondly, if you’re expected to pay for everything including food and personal items, you’ll probably start to resent your girlfriend. That’s why you need to ensure that you can both afford it.

10. It’s unbalanced

Does it feel like you’re the one who puts in most of the effort? Is your girlfriend relying on you for everything? If that’s the case, moving in together should be the last thing on your mind. Honestly, you need to work on creating a balanced relationship before you make any serious decisions. If you’re sharing the same space it’s fair to get into a routine of sharing responsibilities and splitting the cost of things, otherwise, it’s going to feel too one-sided and that means both of you will feel unhappy. After everything balances out, then you should start thinking about living together.

9. It’s still in the honeymoon phase

When you’re in the honeymoon phase, you can get caught up in this dream of moving in together and living a perfect life. It seems like a great idea because you assume that you’ll be able to see each other 24/7. Yet, living together doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll be seeing each other all of the time. The reality is that unless you both work from home, you won’t see each other while you’re working. There might be some days where you hardly speak to your partner, even though you’re living under the same roof. Honestly, if you’re still in the honeymoon phase, hold off on making any big plans.

8. You dislike her friends

There are some people who you just can’t get along with and sometimes there’s no way to fix that. However, you have to try and make an effort with your girlfriend’s friends and family if you want the relationship to progress. If you really can’t stand being in the same room as her friends, then how are you going to cope when she invites them over to the house? Sure, you can conveniently be busy that day and hold off on seeing them but you can’t avoid it forever. If you’re serious about making the relationship work, you need to get past this hurdle first.

7. Your friends are warning you

Always listen to what your friends think. They know you very well, which means that they probably know about your relationship as well. And if they’re good friends, they will give you their honest opinion even if it’s not what you wanted to hear. Friends tell you what you NEED to hear so you don’t end up making a bad decision that you have to live with. If they tell you that you’re moving too quickly or that it seems like a bad idea then you should at least take their opinions on board. Your friends will usually tell you what you knew all along.

6. You haven’t had a vacation together

Let’s face it, if you haven’t had at least once vacation together then you’re not ready to live together. You never truly know someone until you’re living with them and going on vacation gives you an idea of what it would be like. You might realize that there are certain things about your girlfriend that you can’t stand and the idea of moving in together could be thrown out of the window. Either way, it’s a good way to test the waters. So, unless you’ve been on vacation together, don’t make any plans to move in with her. It’s not a good idea.

5. It’s not a mutual decision

If one of you is on the fence about moving in together, then it shouldn’t be happening. Plain and simple. Perhaps you feel obliged to move in with your girlfriend because you know it will make her happy or maybe she has made it clear that she’ll leave you if you don’t agree. The truth is you can’t force someone to do something that they’re not ready for. If you feel like you should postpone living together, then make your feelings known. And if she doesn’t accept your decision then at least you know that you’re better off without them in your life.

4. You have different goals

Of course, having different goals in life doesn’t mean that you should completely dismiss the thought of moving in with your partner but it’s something that you should at least take into consideration. Does your girlfriend want to get married and have children? Or is she more interested in traveling? If you’re not sure what her goals and ambitions are then you should find out first. It’s better to find out now than years down the line. Things like marriage and kids can be a deal-breaker in a relationship, so you should at least have a conversation about it before it gets serious.

3. Using it as a solution

If you think living together will fix the problems in your relationship, then think again. As mentioned before, the moment you start living under the same roof, the dynamic of your relationship changes. Sure, it could help some of the problems in your relationship but it means that you will be faced with new challenges that you’ll have to work through together. The point is it’s not a quick fix solution that will save your relationship. If anything, it could make things worse for you both. You have to deal with the current problems that you’re having before you consider taking the next step.

2. You’re not 100% comfortable

There’s certain things that you have to feel comfortable doing around your partner before you consider living with them. If you feel even a little bit uneasy around them then trust me, you’re not ready to move in with them. For example, do you feel comfortable farting in front of them? Would you be able to walk around naked? How would you feel about having less privacy? These are just a few things you have to think about. It’s not a walk in the park. Sharing your space with someone else can be great but it can also be draining. If you’re not 100% sure, don’t go ahead with it.

1. You don’t see it lasting

It goes without saying that if you’re having doubts about your relationship and you’re unsure if it will last much longer, then moving in together might not be the best idea. Sure, it could be fun while it lasts, but if you know that your relationship is only temporary then there’s really no point. It just means that when you break up, everything else is going to fall apart. Who’s going to move out? Who’s going to keep what? It creates a lot of problems and unnecessary drama.

If your feelings for your girlfriend aren’t serious, then hold off on any plans of moving in together until you know for sure that you can see it lasting long-term.