Since the dawn of time, there have been two questions that hover over man’s existence. ‘What is the meaning of life?’ being one – and ‘What do women want?’ being the other. Both questions hold just as much significance and remain painfully unanswered. Two mysteries that are doomed to go on for eternity, as sure as the changing of the seasons and the tides of the sea. Luckily for you, we’ve had a good go at cracking it.

It might be her birthday, your anniversary or just any old day of the week. Buying gifts for her is something that fills you with dread and trepidation – even more so than visiting her parents. We’ve got great news for you. You don’t need to fear any longer. We’ve dug deep into the inner workings of the female psyche to make sure you’re one step ahead of the game. There are things a woman wants that she will never ask for (or even admit too). They’re either too expensive, or she simply wants you to realize that she shouldn’t have to ask – you should just know.

Open up your Amazon account, get your credit card to hand and be prepared to flash the cash. It’s not going to be a cheap affair – but we promise you it’ll be 100% worth it. Let’s get this show on the road, and get you the thanks you deserve for being just so darn caring.

15. LINGERIE

There are a few ways that this could go hideously wrong – so you’ll need to do your research here. For a start, women come in all shapes and sizes, and this is especially true when it comes to buying lingerie. If you read our previous article on Things Naturally Gifted Women Want You to Know, then you’ll already be one step ahead of the game. If you’re just joining us here, then prick up your ears. Take careful note of where she shops for her lingerie – even do some rummaging around in her underwear draw so you get a good idea of her size. Choose something beautiful but not trashy – what you buy will be how she thinks you view her, so classy always wins.

14. A NEW DRESS

This goes hand in hand with new lingerie. Plan a date night, leave a Victoria’s Secret bag on the bed along with a brand new dress. Something classic that has a little bit of stretch in it. Trust us, buying her a dress that she loves but can’t get to zip up will ruin the night completely, along with any chances you have of getting a thank you kiss (or more). Doing this right and judging her taste perfectly will leave her feeling and looking like the goddess she is. It’s a sure fire way to make a dull Friday night into one that she’ll always remember. Don’t worry if she reaches for her phone, she’s just texting all of her friends and telling them all that you’re a keeper.

13. A RING

Don’t recoil in horror – this doesn’t have to be as scary as it sounds. No girl is going to admit to wanting a ring (although there are some that don’t stop talking about it, but we’re pretending they don’t exist for now). We’re not saying that you have to pop the question, but if you’re in a strong relationship with a girl that you plan on marrying one day, then it might be time to let her know your intentions before she starts questioning them. Buying a promise ring might sound completely cliche, but diamonds are a girls best friend. Don’t spend a gigantic amount and get something too showy, you want to save that for the real deal. Buying a simple but beautiful piece will do her ego the world of good. Just make sure that she knows from the off that this is NOT a proposal. That’ll go down like a lead balloon if she gets the wrong idea.

12. HER FAVOURITE FOOD

Girls love food. Don’t be deceived if you first start dating someone and they only order salad with dressing on the side – that’s just a smokescreen. Give it a few more dates and she’ll be wearing sweats and a messy bun at your apartment and her retainer at night. There’s a really outdated stereotype that men always want dinner on the table when they get home from a long day at work. It works both ways. Since this is the 21st century and gender stereotypes are thankfully fading out, it wouldn’t hurt for us to switch this up a little. Women are often career driven, so when she’s running late to your place after a long day being a boss, why not order her favourite takeout so it’s ready there for when she stumbles in the door, shoes in hand? The little things in life go a long, long way.

11. SOME…ADULT GAMES

You were waiting for this one weren’t you? Being intimate is a key part to any relationship, but things can get routine pretty quickly. It can take a little guts for someone to pipe up and suggest something out of the box (so to speak). You never quite know how your partner is going to react. Will they throw you out? Will they throw you in the bedroom? It’s more likely to be the latter. This isn’t the 50’s – hanky panky is far less taboo then it has ever been. Take the lead and make a few choice purchases for you and her to spice things up and take them to the next level. We’re not talking about anything terrifying and really out there – you want to tread carefully with this one. She’ll love that you’ve taken control.

10. YOUR SWEATSHIRT

Women are sentimental creatures at heart (but we’ll let you in on a secret – men are too!). The inexpensive things can mean just as much, if not more, than a giant diamond necklace or a new Lamborghini. Think back to the days when you used to date in high school – everyone knew who was dating who because they were wearing their hoodie. We never really get over that feeling, having something that reminds us of our partners. If you’re a bit strapped for cash and you’re not at the stage of living with each other yet, gift your girlfriend with one of your sweatshirts, freshly washed but spritzed with your aftershave (the one she loves).

9. TICKETS TO THE BAND SHE’S ALWAYS WANTED TO SEE

Buying your girl tickets to her favorite band will make her squeal in ways you never knew possible. It doesn’t just have to be a band. Maybe it’s a show, or a particular event. Either way, planning a night that is just for her (regardless of how much you don’t want to see Wicked or watch Justin Bieber) will make her realize how much attention you pay to her likes and her needs. If she knows that you hate the things she likes but are willing to do them for her, that will do your relationship the world of good. It’s all about compromising. If you’re lucky, she’ll even return the favor one day.

8. A PUPPY (BUT DON’T DO IT)

Buying a pet is a pretty big commitment. In a lot of ways, it’s a bigger commitment than proposing. At least if things go south, she can give you the ring back, make a call to the caterers and all you’ve got to deal with is a few angry not quite but nearly in-laws. There’s a thousand reasons why buying her a puppy would put you in her good books for a pretty decent amount of time. Unfortunately, for every good reason there’s also a countering reason not to. No doubt she wants one – and no doubt she’d never ask, but just think about how messy this could make a break up. Just like children, each parent will want full custody. If you come to a puppy visitation schedule it’ll mean that you won’t be free of each other for at least 10 years. Do you really want a puppy to be the product of a broken home? Didn’t think so.

7. A SEPHORA GIFTCARD

Make-up, and lots of it. Buying it yourself is a no go. You’ll get the shades wrong (yes, just like lingerie this is not a one size fits all situation) and probably end up buying a brand she promised to boycott because of animal testing practices. Instead, treat her to a Sephora gift card. For those novices among you, Sephora is the place where all beauty dreams come true. They stock everything that your girl will ever need – and thanks to you, she can have it. Bear in mind that a $20 isn’t going to cut it here. You’re looking at spending at least one (possibly two) Benjamin Franklin’s here. $100 will get you out of that Thanksgiving dinner with her family. $200 will ensure that you’re good for Christmas too.

6. A PAIR OF STILETTOS

Even women that never wear high heels can appreciate the beauty of them. If your girl is more of a sneakers and flats kind of lady, then don’t be put off. If she doesn’t wear them outside, there can be kept purely for ‘in the bedroom’ antics. Push the boat out and purchase a pair of the famed Louboutins (that’s the super expensive ones with the signature red sole). This isn’t for the fainthearted – you’re talking about almost $1000 for a decent pair here, but isn’t she worth it? Save this as your ammo for when you’re desperately trying to get out of the doghouse. It’ll work a treat. It’s every girls dream to own a pair, even if they don’t say it. Nothing makes a woman feel more attractive than wearing a pair of these bad boys (if you’re lucky, that’s all she’ll be wearing).

5. A TRIP TO PARIS

Long walks along the Seine. Admiring the architecture on the steps of Notre Dame. Gazing lovingly at one another while watching the Eiffel Tower light show. The possibility is endless (and hopefully, so is your budget). Paris is the ultimate destination for lovers. From the cobbled streets to the berets and baguettes, there’s not much that the City of Love doesn’t have to offer for the perfect romantic getaway. This is the surprise to end all surprises, and one that’ll secure your place in the best boyfriend (or girlfriend) hall of fame forever. People will know your name far and wide – and lets face it, if you break up you probably won’t have much trouble finding a new partner with that rep. It’s a win-win.

4. HIRE A MAID

And no, this doesn’t mean buying her a costume. We all love to come home to a clean home after a long day going out there and bringing home the bread. Generally speaking, women tend to be a little bit more conscientious when it comes to keeping things in order than men – which is often misconstrued into having some sort of liking for cleaning. No one likes cleaning (unless you have OCD). It’s boring, it takes forever and we can think of a million other things we would rather be doing than scrubbing the toilet. Don’t ask her – if you do, you make risk insulting her homemaking skills. Instead, just hire a maid for a couple of hours a week to break the back of all of those tasks you’d rather not do. It’s worth the money and will save her a fortune in damaged manicures.

3. BUY YOURSELF A SUIT (IT’S STILL FOR HER)

There’s an old adage that says the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Well, the way to a woman’s heart is through good tailoring. Think Christian Grey. Think Jon Hamm and John Slattery in Mad Men, Al Pacino in The Godfather I and II (everyone knows the third doesn’t count). Great tailoring makes a man look impeccable. You could have terrible every day style, but wearing a suit look like the man that’s going to make all of her dreams come true. Investing in a good suit to replace that old thing you wear to funerals and weddings is a gift for her that she will never see coming – and a gift for you too. Everyone’s happy – but most importantly, she’s got a man she can proudly wear on her arm. Case and point – Ryan Gosling. That velvet suit. Oof.

2. FLOWERS, DELIVERED TO WORK

She’ll say no – she doesn’t need to be made a fuss of. She may even say how lame it is when people do it, but that’s just because she doesn’t want you to feel bad. This has to be done when she least expects it. Don’t do it as an apology – no one wants to explain to their co-workers why they’ve been sent a beautiful bouquet with a ‘sorry’ note. Be the spontaneous, loving guy that you are and just do it for no reason at all. She’ll love the fuss it causes when the delivery guy comes into the office, the excitement and attention it brings will put a spring in her step for the rest of the week. Sure, it’ll set you back a few bucks – but for the amount you’ll spend, you’ll create a big impact.

1. YOUR UNDIVIDED ATTENTION (PSST, IT’S FREE)

We’re aware you’re probably rolling your eyes here, but we mean it. It’s the modern age – we’re all constantly guilty of never putting technology down. Whether you’re just checking your emails quickly at 7pm, or spending ten minutes scrolling through your social media feeds while you should be watching the movie, ditch it all for a few hours. Put your phone away, turn the laptop off – that can wait until you’re at work. Spend an evening sans technology and just give her the attention she deserves. Once she sees that you’ve done away with your tech for the evening, she will quickly follow suit. Conversation is a key part of keeping everything alive. Without conversation – you won’t have anything.