One of the lies that we are told is “cheaters never prosper”. That’s just plain out not true. Of course cheaters can prosper. And sometimes they get away with it to boot. So, do you think your sweet little girlfriend, wife, or whatever may be doing the dirties on you? She could be. Is she working more and at home less? Does she walk out of the room to take certain phone calls? Is she full of the joys of spring and annoyingly happy? All are signs that she could be playing away. And chances are she’s having a great time and loving every second of it. So, does she feel guilty? Are you kidding? She’s got a series of stories running in her head that make her cheating: a) your fault, b) a very good thing and c) what she deserves. Now, what does that say about you? It says you are to blame for her cheating. Trust us. That’s just the way it is when women cheat. So, what else is she saying to herself? None of it is nice, but it’s all very real. When women cheat they aren’t just lying to you, they are lying to themselves, their lover and the world. Get ready for an eye-opening revelation or two. Here are 15 things that go through her mind while she’s cheating on you. And the scary thing is that she probably believes the lies she is telling herself.

15. I’m So Totally Hot

Men and women cheat for different reasons. No, really. For men, it’s mostly about the s*x. It’s the physical act that they are out for. With women, it’s about proving they are still attractive and finding an emotional connection. So, she’s been in a relationship or married for a while and things have cooled off in the bedroom department. She starts to think she’s losing her s*x appeal. Then comes her office Christmas party and wham, bam thank you m’am she’s snogging some guy from the mail room. He’s telling her how hot she is and she can’t get her clothes off fast enough. Warning signs to look out for: She goes wild when she’s in the sack with you and she’s buying s*xy undies like they are going out of style. She’s feeling hot and s*xy and ready to go.

14. It’s Only “The Deed”

Golden Eye’s Xenia Onatopp, on top of “things”, as usual. You will not be surprised if we tell you that the female brain is a strange and scary place. Even though studies show that women tend to cheat to gain an emotional connection, when they do cheat they lie to themselves and say it’s only the s*x they are after. See, in a woman’s mind falling in love with their lover is worse than doing the dirty with them. We know, we think it’s strange too, but there it is. She tells herself she still loves her husband/boyfriend and so that makes it okay. “It’s only s*x” is the lie cheating women constantly tell themselves. Like when a post-coital James Bond tells Xenia he’s had a “lovely evening”, she shoots from the hip and says, “Once again, the pleasure was all yours.” Ouch.

13. Cheating Will Make Me A Better Person

WTF? No, her reasoning is NOT sound. It’s just plain crazy. But it goes something like this: I am bored. Or I am frustrated. Or I am beginning to resent him. So, if I have a fling it will clear out all those bad feelings and make me a happy camper again. And he will be none the wiser. I’ll be happy. He’ll be happy. Everything will be fine. Well, that’s one way of looking at it. But it almost never works out that way. Let’s say you don’t notice the new hot undies she’s not modeling for you. Or you don’t notice the fact that she usually leaves the room when she takes a call. Or you are oblivious to the fact she’s working very long hours. No, that’s the point. You’re not going to overlook any or all of that. It will come down to you confronting her, her lying and probably pitching a fit. That’ll be your fault too.

12. Whoa! I Can Conquer The World

Doing “it” is liberating. Having good s*x is right up there when it comes to giving you that spring in your step. She’s having a great time in between the sheets and her lover is giving her the attention and TLC you used to. So, she’s thinking, wow! I just feel so good. I have so much energy. This affair business has to be a good thing. So, totally, why didn’t I think of this a long time ago, she’s saying to herself. You’ll probably notice her running around in a dreamy, happy kind of way. She’s just doing more stuff, like all the time. She’s acting like Wonder Woman on a mission. Here’s a little trick to try to test the waters: Send her flowers at work anonymously. If she doesn’t bring them home, you can pretty much guess that Wonder Woman is cheating on you.

11. It’s His Problem, Not Mine

OK. Stay with us on this one. You’ve been together for years. That first time in the sack may be a wonderful, hot memory. But it’s history. That’s just a fact. So, she thinks it has to be YOUR fault and not hers that things are no longer hot and heavy. She’s totally not to blame, at least in her own mind. So, she and her boss go on a business trip. One drink leads to another one and presto, she and the boss are between the sheets and doing the dirty. And, it’s true to say, the s*x is way hot. He’s all over her like a rash. It’s like it was with you in the beginning. So, she concludes that it is you who is the dud. She’s as hot and s*xy and ready to go as she ever was. Her engines are revving on high now. If she comes back from that trip hot to trot with you, it’s a sure sign that something went on. If she tells you she got a raise, ask how much and then call your lawyer.

10. What He Doesn’t Know Won’t Hurt Him

Most cheaters think they will never get caught. And when they do get caught, they do what cheaters have always done: They lie. Most women who cheat think that their guy is too self-centered to clock what is going on. True, guys are more into “things” than people, but even the most dimwitted guy can spot the tell-tale signs. Like? She’s changing her passwords and not telling you. Or she’s suddenly working late an awful lot. Or she starts buying sultry clothes. And if you say anything, she’ll get all huffy and tell you it’s all in your head. And the best female point of view line we’ve ever heard came up when one guy caught his girl cheating. And what did she say? She said it was all his fault for spying on her! How dare he suspect her of doing what she was doing. Namely, doing the dirty with another.

9. I Deserve To Be Happy

Oh boy! Talk about a Cheater’s Charter, the “I deserve to be happy” line is right up there as the lie every cheating female tells herself. So, she’s not happy. And whose fault is that? Don’t be so stupid. Of course it’s your fault that she’s not happy. And “he” makes her happy? Well, for a second or two. As Marvel’s bada** Daredevil said, “Life is not a fairy tale. Not everyone deserves a happy ending.” Truer words were never spoken. Or to paraphrase a famous quote, cheat on a good guy and karma will make certain you end up with the b*stard you deserve. It just almost never ends well. Optimistic Americans are probably the world’s worse when it comes to thinking they “deserve” to be happy or have a lot of money or have the best of everything. It usually leads to their being unhappy, poor and disappointed. Pessimists aren’t happy, but they are seldom disappointed.

8. He Deserves It

OK. This one takes a number of forms. It could be “revenge” cheating. Maybe you’ve cheated on her just the one little time and she found out. And she’s telling herself you deserve to be punished. Or maybe, in her mind anyway, you are neglecting her. You’re taking too long to reply to her texts. Or maybe you spend more time with your motorbike than you do with her. Or whatever. Or maybe, just maybe, she’s convinced herself you are not a nice guy. So, what does it say about her that she’s with you? Anyway, our advice is to do like Kevin Hart and say “I don’t haves exes. I have Y’s. Like “Y The Hell Did I Date You?!?” We’re not going to tell you that you deserve to be happy. Nope. Remember what Daredevil said and all. But we will tell you you deserve better.

7. He Doesn’t Love Me

You’ve been together a while. It’s been a long time since things were really, really hot and heavy between you. Let’s be honest. You’ve both let yourselves go a little, or a lot. And the internal conversation she’s having goes something like, “If he loved me, he’d pay more attention.” Or, “if he really loved me he’d drag me into bed and make hot and passionate love to me.” And, she says to herself, “that’s not happening. So, therefore, he doesn’t love me any more.” In her mind, you’re the one who let her down big time. As far as she is concerned, you’ve already walked out on her emotionally and physically and so jumping into bed with your best friend is the thing to do. Well, your ex-best friend really. And the scariest part of it all is that she probably really believes it.

6. Monogamy Is Unnatural

Hooray. None other than Scarlett Johansson has said monogamy is not natural. And after two divorces, she should know. Your babe is probably telling herself that as she jumps in the sack with somebody else. Talk about stretching things. The point is not whether monogamy is natural or unnatural. The point is that it was something she committed to when you got together. You didn’t force her to move in or marry you or whatever. It’s what she signed up for, willingly. Now that she’s decided to cheat, suddenly the problem is that monogamy just doesn’t work. Nice try, babe, but no cigar. True enough that people these days just live a lot longer than they did hundreds of years ago. So, marriages of forty or fifty years are not that uncommon now. And that’s a long, long time to hang with one person. Some seem to manage it. Our ScarJo is not one of them.

5. It’ll Be Good For My Relationship

Now, she’s unhappy. We have established that, of course, her unhappiness is your fault. So, she’s distant and complaining and just generally a misery guts. Aha! She decides that what she needs is an affair. She tells herself that she “deserves” it. It’ll be like a little vacation from “things” that are getting her down. After messing around with that guy at work, she’ll have a new perspective on things. She’ll come back to you and your relationship a better woman. Everything will be better than it was before. Well, that’s an interesting point of view. She’s cheating on you. The guy at work is cheating on his wife or girlfriend. He’s probably playing the “It’ll be a good thing” tape in his head too. And, even if they manage to keep the affair a secret, it won’t end there. There will be other affairs for both of them and at some point the sh*t will hit the fan. And the only winners will be the divorce lawyers.

4. Everybody Does It

The script she’s got running in her head goes something like this: Cheating? Everybody does it. So, why shouldn’t I? She’s telling herself cheating is “normal” and being faithful and true is abnormal? Well, something like that. She is probably telling herself that you’re at it as well. So, it’s no big deal. The “everybody is doing it” line isn’t strictly speaking true. According to Forbes, around one in five married people have cheated on their spouse. So everybody? Give us a break. Not surprisingly, the number peaks at around 20 percent as a person approaches the big 5-0. That’s a dangerous time for both men and women, as middle and old age looms large. So don’t believe everything you see on Mad Men. Most people are faithful.

3. Just This Once. What Can It Hurt?

Once a cheater, always a cheater? Yes, sorry to say that’s probably true. Cheating becomes a way of life for women. It’s like a fix, a drug, they keep going back to. So, she’s telling herself that the hot affair she’s having with your next door neighbor is just a one off, a fleeting thing that will come and go, leaving her a happier and more fulfilled person. But the thing is that affairs often happen between people who have some kind of connection. Say like a work colleague or a neighbor. And that’s the point. There is a connection. So, your friend calls and tells you she saw your wife and your neighbor in a dark corner at a bar. There’s just no way to explain that away. Oh, she’ll be full of remorse and tears, as will he. It’ll never, ever happen again, honey. It will. Might as well dump her stuff on the curb and be done with it. And her.

2. I’m Totally Out Of Here

One of the things about an affair is that it is unreal. It plays out in hotel rooms and restaurants where real life is suspended in favor of a kind of s*xual Disneyland. It provides hot s*x, TLC and all the attention she tells herself she is lacking at home. So, what can happen is that “reality” starts to look way better to her. She starts thinking she’s going to leave you for him. Now, if her lover is hot on the idea and she did leave you and shack up with him, the simple fact is that within, say, six months or so her s*xual Disneyland would turn into reality and life would be back to more or less what it was like before she left you. So, what does she do? She finds another Disneyland to play in. You might even get a call. Run, don’t walk away from that one.

1. What If I Run Into Him With My Boyfriend

The biggest worry for many women who cheat is the thought of running into their lover while they are out with their boyfriend/husband, whatever. It’s almost impossible to hide the fact that you don’t know them or that you and he are a whole lot more than just good friends. So, you go to a party. She’s standing at the door scanning the room, hoping and praying he’s not there. Now, it gets a whole lot more complicated if her lover is, say, a neighbor or a work colleague. She’s got to play act all the time. And, believe it or not, the close connection between your cheating girlfriend/wife and her lover is often their undoing. That quick kiss when you are in the other room. Or that pat on her bum when they think no one is looking. Eventually, they are outed.

Sources: nbcnews, yourtango, forbes