Good naughty time is achieved when each partner knows what he or she is doing. Great bedroom action is achieved when each partner knows what to do with the other. It is as though the other person is in your mind, and knows exactly what will turn you on at any given moment. Understanding and delivering what your partner wants is a great way to develop the relationship. Now, you might say be the type who wants the relationship to develop before you put in that effort, and that’s fine too. Ultimately, however, understanding what women want in bed and communicating with them on what you want is really the only way to get the most out of your nightly adventures.

While it is essential to learn more about your partner as your relationship develops, there are some general things that women really want you to know about naughty time. Okay, before you jump in, keep in mind, not all women have had negative experiences with this stuff, so do be sure to communicate with your partner on her physical wants and needs to help both of you achieve the ultimate pleasure in the bedroom. Here are 15 things your girl wants you to know about naughty time.

15. Brush Up On Your Dirty Talk

Alright, there is a fine line between dirty talk that will “put you over the top” and straight up creepy. This is why it’s essential for you to get ahold of what dirty talk is really about. The tricky thing about talking dirty is that you really need to know your partner for this. Some women are completely turned off by dirty talk, and some women absolutely require it, and then there are women who like dirty talk, but only a certain kind. If you want to call her a prostitute, make sure she’s okay with it first. If you want to call her mom, make sure she’s okay with it first. This is where pre-hanky panky communication is important. Even if you’re not looking for a long-term commitment, having a conversation about talking dirty language can help you get your foot in the door and help you have some pretty outstanding loving tonight.

14. Sometimes, We Really Do Have a Headache

Of course you know that no means no. I don’t have to tell you that. When you do get turned down, feel free to ask her why (you can have this conversation without pressuring her, as you definitely know). Sometimes, women just aren’t in the mood. Sometimes, we really do have a headache. Whatever her reason is, if she’s not into it, neither of you are going to enjoy the loving, so talk to her. Let her know you support her decision. Let her know that you’re available to please her at a different time, and it doesn’t have to be right now. Whatever you do, don’t try to guilt her into going to bed with you. Not cool bruh.

13. Get Down (There)

If you expect or want a woman to go down on you, but returning the favor just isn’t your thing, congratulations, you pretty much suck. Of course, if you don’t expect anything and don’t want to give anything, more power to ya (some people aren’t into mouth stuff, I get it). One of the greatest things a guy can do for a girl who likes oral is to go down there without her even having to ask. Woo, that’s always a pleasant surprise for the ladies. But hey, if this isn’t your thing, we won’t hold that against you. Just have the conversation with your girl, especially if you’re in a long-term relationship with her.

12. Please Clip Your Nails

Guys, we need to have an honest conversation about your nails. Sure, they’re great for scratching that itch, but keep in mind that they will scratch other places too. Some of those places are pretty sensitive, and long nails on them can be incredibly uncomfortable. I understand that your nails grow pretty fast, but if you just pay a little more attention to them, it can save a lot of pain later. While some girls are into the werewolf thing, when it comes to that area, it can be a bit disturbing. Communicate with your girl and see if she has a preference. This is the best way to clear the air.

11. If You Want Us To Shave, Please Shave As Well

Hey, it’s a jungle down there, for both men and women. Don’t go thinking your parts are in good shape if you let them grow wild and free as nature intended. When women go down there, we have a lot of work to do (they don’t call it a job for nothing), and most don’t just focus on the non-hairy areas. Now, you don’t have to go taking a straight razor to your junk, but it would be nice to see a trim once in awhile, This is especially important to those guys who want their girls to wax, shave, trim, or shape the jungle that is that area. And hey, if you and your girl are the all-natural types, more power to ya, simply disregard this item.

10. Pull Hair, Don’t Yank Hair

There is a difference between pulling hair and yanking it like it’s a pigtail. A clean pull back during the deed is cool for those girls who are into it, but a harsh yank can create neck cramps, unwanted pain, and soreness. It’s time to step up your hair pulling techniques, gentlemen, and there’s no better way to do that than to start practicing on your girl (again, if it’s her thing). This is definitely a topic you should bring up during coital communications. Don’t get all shy about it either. If it’s something you’re into, you should be able to talk to her about it in order to give you some kind of understanding as to what she’s looking for.

9. It’s Okay to Do Some Research

And why not? Seriously! Read a book. Look up some techniques on the Internet. Read articles like this one. Dig a little deeper when you’re talking to your girl. Figure out what she wants, look it up, and perfect it while you’re with her. It only takes a little extra time, and hey, you might find some good videos to watch with her a little later as well. Research is a great way to introduce new things into your relationship and explore the possibilities of what the two of you are capable of in bed. So, get out there, and start looking stuff up. Seriously, the internet is full of information on positions and techniques you can master.

8. Pay Attention To Her 

Like I said before, your mental presence is paramount to both of you experiencing pleasure. So long as you’re mentally present, you’ll be able to pay attention to the subtle reactions she has to what you’re doing.

But you can pay attention to more than just what is going on during the act. You can pay attention to the things she says when it’s not even close to bedtime. If you think about some of the things she says, you’ll catch some great little secrets that get you into her mind, and even her fantasies. What movies does she love to watch? What are the main characters doing that you can mimic to get her hot and bothered? Start doing those things, and the spice in your life will get nice and saucy!

7. Get As Loud As You Please

If you think making her loud is hot, imagine how she feels when you don’t hold back your primal screams. For some reason, dudes think it’s uncool to make any noises in bed. This leads to a series of grunting and holding back. I’m here to tell you to let that inner animal out! Let your girl know when she’s making you feel extra good. Talk to her during the act to let her know how she’s making you feel. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want either! “A little to the left” can change your entire experience (and hers). You can give directions in a way that isn’t so demanding, or you can take control of the situation. That, of course, is determined by the dynamic of your relationship.

6. Focus on Everything

Remember when I told you to be present. You don’t have to overthink this one, but you can start training your brain to do this. Focus on what she wants. Focus on pleasing her. There is nothing more self-gratifying than proving to yourself that you can please this girl to no end. The same goes for women. When both partners work toward pleasing their partner rather than pleasing themselves, they both get the ultimate pleasure. So, when you’re in mid swing, pay attention to her body movements, and start moving with her (or against her as resistance is pretty rad). Pay attention to her breathing, and try to speed it up. Pay attention to the sounds she’s making. Experiment a little bit with how you’re going to react to each of these things. In no time, you’ll have a reaction to every one of her actions, and it’ll be epic.

5. Change Up The Routine As Much As Possible

Variety is the spice of life, and the only thing that stops a couple from changing things up in the bedroom is getting too comfortable with the positions you partake in the most. You’ve figured out how to get to where you’re going and reach climax in the best possible way, but that is limiting your relationship and keeping you from exploring new and exciting ways to reach the top of the mountain. This one touches back on the research element of bed time fun. You don’t necessarily have to change with every pump, but a little variety goes a long way in the bedroom, and it is definitely something you should take advantage of.

4. Let Us In On Your Fantasies

Communication is the key to any successful relationship, and it’s also the key to extra fun in the bedroom. If you have fantasies (which could be based on your research), let her know. If she doesn’t know what you want in bed, you can’t always expect her to just figure it out. If the two of you aren’t that big on talking about this kind of thing, it’s time for you to take initiative. Start the conversation. Tell her what you “always wanted to try,” and more often than not, she will be willing to give it a go. Don’t just assume that just because you don’t communicate your needs that you should never communicate your needs. It’s important to introduce new things, and if you’ve never had the fantasy talk, now is the time.

3. Ask Us About Our Fantasies

Getting to know your girl is a great way to enhance your experience and her experience and the experience you share together. There is nothing more important than communicating wants and needs in a relationship, and that holds true for bedroom action. Again, if the two of you aren’t big talkers when it comes to bed time shenanigans, be the bigger person here, and ask her what she thinks about. You may be pleasantly surprised that the two of you share fantasies. Additionally, she may come up with some interesting stuff that you’ve never even heard of before. Don’t forget to communicate, and understand your partner for the optimum experience in bed.

2. Get Into It

If you’re over-thinking the loving in the bedroom, she is going to feel the difference. If you’re distant, and your mind is elsewhere, she’s going to feel the difference. If you’re thinking about your work day and not her smokin’ hot bod, neither of you are going to have fun. While your penis might be telling you it is naughty time, your mind might not be in it for the long haul. I know this one is easier said than done, but if it’s dirty time and you’re mind can’t focus, perhaps you should take a step back, and just not do it. What? Yeah, you heard me. Trust me, she’ll take rejection (as long as you communicate the reasons) much better than horrible hanky panky.

1. Foreplay is Essential

Seriously, gentlemen. I don’t care if you just met her at a frat party or if you’ve been with her for 12 years. Foreplay should never (and I mean never) go away. If you want her to remember you, or at least get her motor running for you at this very moment, give her five to ten minutes of some heavy petting, a little rub down, and perhaps some intimate kissing in places that aren’t the lips (but doesn’t necessarily need to be down there). The great thing about foreplay is both of you benefit from it, and both of you can work to please the other one. So, spend some time getting to know her body (no matter how much you already know her body) before you jump into the pool.