15 Things You Do While Working Out That Are Absolutely Ridiculous
You want the summer body, but you also want to be able to eat as many Krispy Kreme donuts as you want. Every weekend after you eat the chicken wings, the 7 slices of pizza, the chocolate cake, you vow that starting Monday, you will work out 3 times a week at least, and start eating clean. Some of us don’t have cheat meals, we have cheat weekends, because you know, putting the frozen pizza in the oven is much easier and way more delicious.
Monday then rolls around and you think, well it’s been a long day, so I’ll start tomorrow. Before you know it, it’s already Thursday and you really need to hit the gym at least once! You decide to do 2 hours to make up for the fact that you didn’t go once so far, so you attend a crossfit class for an hour and do your own thing for the other hour.
You put on your gym clothes, and head out there. You know you’re going to feel great after you’re done, but for now, you just want to be on your couch watching TV and stalking your crush on Facebook. You drag yourself outside the locker room to face the inevitable.
Here are a list of 15 things you do at the gym that are absolutely ridiculous!
15. A pre-workout or post-workout picture
Maybe both! You want to show people how sweaty you get after the two hour workout so you take the pre-workout selfie then the sweaty post workout selfie, put both side by side with the caption “Crazy 2 hour workout, summer here I come!” For some reason we feel better about going to gym if there is proof online. We love people cheering us on, showing off our hard work and accomplishments. Don’t let that be your main focus. Use the gym as your zen time, don’t work out thinking of how many ‘likes’ you could have gotten by now.
14. Check if your abs are out after every 5 crunches
You start with a little warm up. Maybe a couple of squats, a couple of jumping jacks, burpees and crunches! You really want those abs for the summer so after every couple of crunches you put your hand on your abs or lift your shirt a little bit to see them come in! You start calculating the number of times you need to come to the gym to get the abs you want by June. The important thing to remember is that abs also are made in the kitchen. You can’t eat pasta, bread, chocolate, and whipped cream straight from the can (even though it’s so delicious) and expect to get a six pack because you worked out twice a week.
13. Run and hide in the bathroom to avoid the jump squats, burpees, and/or frog jumps
If you’ve joined a crossfit class you’ve done this! Each one of us has the one exercise we absolutely despise, and as soon as it starts we run and hide. We take time to “fix our hair,” “tie our shoes”, “drink water”, check ourselves out in the mirror, and the list goes on. You don’t want to just stand there and admit defeat, so you pretty much attempt to look busy doing something else. Here’s a tip! Try to eliminate as many distractions as possible. Ladies, tie your hair up in a nice bun or ponytail so you don’t have to keep fidgeting with it. Make sure your shoe laces are nice and tight and get started! The exercise you hate the most is probably the one you need the most.
12. Look around to see if anyone else is dying
You’ve been there for half an hour and you’re already seeing stars so you look around to see if people are slowly dying too. The first thing you do is probably blame yourself for skipping the last couple of workouts and the chocolate that you’ve been eating, along with the soda you’ve been drinking. You stop to wonder when it’s going to get easier and realize it actually might. Focus! Think of the summer body and how tight you will look walking along with the beach with that flat stomach. Before you go to the gym think of the perfect body, have the picture in front of you while you work out and work towards it.
11. Compare yourself to the very fit girl or guy next to you and feel super depressed
A depressing thing happens when you look around; you see the really flexible girl who has her toes touching the back of her head, or the guy who has been planking for 15 minutes straight. *Sigh* You were hoping to look around and see someone passed out so you can feel better about wanting to just stop, but instead you see people that make you wonder how many times you have to go to the gym to get to where they are! How about this, start with today…get through today first and slowly you’ll have your toes touch the back of your head too!
10. Look at the time to see if you’ve been there for long enough
45 minutes into your workout and you start to think maybe a two-hour workout is a bit unreasonable, maybe just 15 more minutes and you can head home and relax. While you do your pushups and your final plank, you stare at the clock to see when it has been exactly an hour so you can go! Pace yourself, getting in shape is a process. Please enjoy the actual process, enjoy the fact that exercising has so many other benefits, like helping you release stress, reducing the risk of some cancers, releasing endorphins which make you happy!
9. Check the guns out every bicep curl and actually see a difference
You actually see your arm grow with every bicep curl, and might think “Damn! I should have been on Baywatch!” We’ve all posted to show off our biceps. Make sure you don’t focus too much on your arm and ignore other body parts. We’ve all seen the person walking down the street with huge arms and tiny legs, or the biggest arms, but also the biggest gut. Make sure you pay attention to the whole body, you want to look proportionate. The next time you go to the gym, make sure your workout plan involves other body parts than just your arm.
8. Add 15 more lbs and realize you can’t do it
You run for the 35lbs weight and courageously attempt to lunge. First round is all good, second one too, but by the third round your leg starts to wobble and your start imagining dropping that weight on your foot because you can’t hold it up any longer. You pause, look around, and run to grab the 15lbs weight. “It’s still better than no weight,” you tell yourself. Remember, it’s not always about how much your weight is, sometimes it’s about having the right form as well. It’s better to do 10 good jump squats than 15 bad ones. Increase your weights a little bit at a time, don’t just run to grab the heaviest one.
7. Remember halfway through your workout that you forgot to do your stretches so you stop to do them
“I’m ready!” you tell yourself and you just start with mountain climbers. You go from one exercise to another and suddenly pause because you forgot to stretch, so you awkwardly stop your mountain climbers to stretch. Tip: Have a plan before going to the gym, maybe right it on a piece of paper and follow it. By being prepared you don’t have to waste time at the gym thinking of exercises to do, you won’t forget to stretch and you won’t forget to do some of the exercise you’ve been planning to do all week. If you don’t know how to create your own plan, you can always go online and you’ll find so many, and if you want to take it a step further, you can always follow a monthly plan.
6. Go to water fountain and drink as slowly as possible, avoiding the inevitable
A great way to take a break without actually declaring defeat because hey, you HAVE to drink water! Stop stalling! Have a water bottle next to you so you don’t do your walk of shame to the water fountain every time you need a break. If you need to stop, do so, but for 1 minute. Don’t sit on the floor for 25 minutes wondering why you ever came to the gym! Take little sips throughout your workout, don’t chug then start doing burpees, it won’t end well. Think of it this way, every burpee you do, you’re a step closer to the body that you want.
5. You think if you spend more time at the sauna you’ll lose more weight
“I can just do the last couple of planks and frog jumps, go straight to the sauna and hope I’ll can lose weight there.” Things you tell yourself to avoid doing the last set. There are many benefits to using a sauna; it can help relieve stress, cleanse your skin, get rid of toxins, and help you burn calories, but it shouldn’t take the place of exercise. You can’t eat burgers four times a week and expect a few minutes in the sauna to get rid of the all the carbs you just ate. Do the set, do the last set and you’ll feel good after.
4. Awkwardly stand by a machine you don’t know how to use
We’ve all been there, you see a new machine across the room and it looks like it can help you lose the stomach fat you can’t get rid of. You wait for someone to get on it so you can see how to use it, but no one seems to be going near it. So you puff your chest, walk confidently to the machine and try to figure it out. Slowly, you get on and try to figure out where your foot goes, where to put your hand, and which part of the body it’s actually made for. You confidently try to look like you know what you’re doing and after about four minutes you just walk to the treadmill, where things make a lot more sense.
3. Awkwardly wait for your machine to be free
We’re used to having our phones during awkward situations, but hopefully you’re not walking around with it at the gym. Please don’t, you don’t want to accidentally crack the screen because it goes out flying from your pocket as you dramatically jump up for another burpee. It’s the perfect time to put your phone aside and get some peace and quiet anyways! As you wait for the machine, there’s not much to do except look like a complete stalker and stare at the machine until the person on it gets off, or walk away and come back later but that could mean risking someone else taking your spot. So you stand there, and wait…awkwardly.
2. Think about the cheat meal while you’re working out
“If I spend 15 more minutes on the treadmill, I can have two cookies instead of one!” We’ve all started planning our cheat meals while working out to give us the strength to continue. You lose yourself in the chocolate lava cake with the side of ice cream, or the double cheese burger you’re going to have with bacon and cream cheese, maybe even the bag of chips that you’ve lock away. You don’t want to stop eating all your favourite things, but also remember these two words: Portion Control! Sometimes having a bite or two will help, chances are, if you tell yourself you can’t have something you’ll want it even more so don’t do that.
1. Plan your next workout
Right before you finish you think, “This feels amazing!” and feel very proud that you actually went to the gym and resisted the temptation to go home and sit on your couch to browse YouTube for hours and hours. You start planning your new workout, and you’re determined to go three times next week, but now you’re really determined because you feel so much closer to your goal. Hold on to that feeling the next time you want to skip the gym. Consistency is key.
Sources: cdc.gov, finnleo.com