Sometimes, moving on isn’t easy. It can be difficult to just cut someone out of your life, especially when they were once a massive part of it. It can be hard to go from talking to a particular person every day to not speaking or hearing from them at all. But I guess that is part of what makes a break-up the emotional rollercoaster that it is. Mostly we’ve all been there, and we all understand the lows and emotional ups and downs that come along with a relationship, but we all except that the highs are worth the risk that it might not work out.

When it doesn’t work out, you can shortly expect that moment when you bump into your ex for the first time after a break-up, even if it was an amicable one it can still be weird to bump into someone that you once shared your life with, even made plans and dreams with for the future but they are now a complete and utter stranger. You might even take a double glance at the sight of them, is that really them? Could they really be here? Then your heart skips a beat in your chest as your brain goes into panic mode about what your next move should be.

Here are the 15 thoughts every guy has when he sees his ex for the first time.

15. Has she seen me?

Your initial thought might be the one just before your brain begins going into fight or flight mode. You may have spotted her but has she spotted you? You could just simply turn around and run to avoid this more than awkward encounter. Perhaps, if you walked at a fast pace in the other direction she wouldn’t even notice that you were there in the first place. Maybe, you could even hide, disappearing into the crowd or if that fails pretend you have a secret identical twin and don’t even know her? Chances are if you’ve seen her, she’s more than likely spotted you too.

14. Do I speak to her?

If your flight mode has failed, or she has indeed spotted you, you’re going to have to decide what to do next and quickly. Do you say a simple ‘hi’ followed by a quick nod of the head for a civil greeting in passing? Or do you walk on quickly by with your head down pretending you haven’t even noticed her anyway? If you finished on good terms you might even stop for a catch-up, filling each other in on what you have missed in each other’s lives since you parted ways. It could even be nice to find out what she has been up to, if she has accomplished any of the dreams that were discussed when you were together, or if her life has taken a completely different turn.

13. Does she look good?

Let’s be honest, you’re going to take a second to see what she looks like and come up with one of two reactions. Firstly, that she’s not looking great, perhaps the trauma of losing you has meant that she has let her self-go a little and she’s not doing so well. After all, it’s not like she’s going to meet anyone as good as you, right? Secondly, that she is looking better than ever. Has she coloured her hair? Something about her looks a little different but she’s looking way better than she did last time you saw her and said that emotional goodbye.

12. Does she think I look good?

This is when you really regret not making more of an effort this morning. Instead of just rolling out of bed and throwing on the first thing you could find, you’re starting to wish you trimmed that beard or ran a brush or some gel through your hair. You don’t want her to think you’ve let yourself go since the break-up and that she’s well rid of you, more that you have been focussing on yourself, maybe even working out and doing better than you ever did than when you were in a relationship with her. Puffing your chest out a little might do the trick and hide that beer belly that’s been sneaking up on you from all the nights out with the lads.

11. Is her friend going to have a go at me?

We all know girls stick together, and if you hurt a girl’s best friend, you are for sure going to feel the wrath of an angry bestie. Even if it might not have been your fault, the bestie always has something to say about how everything was handled. If you’re bumping into her and her friend you might want to go back to the flight response, or you are potentially putting yourself at risk of a humiliating public shaming. Even if you do try and defend yourself the likelihood is it will just make things worse, escalating the row further. If it’s too late to escape now, put your head down and walk fast.

10. Is that guy she’s with her new boyfriend?

Maybe, instead of the bestie, she’s with a guy you’ve never seen before. He surely can’t be just a friend because you know all of her friends? Could this potentially be your replacement? Surely, she can’t have moved on already? You might take some time to eye the new guy up and down, see what he looks like and of course, come to the conclusion, he’s got nothing on you. You might also think about what she might have told him about her past relationship with you. Anyway, who has muscles that big? The guy must be on steroids or something – what a loser.

9. Does she still miss me?

Even if you have moved on and no longer have feelings for this girl, you might still wonder, does she miss me? We all want to think that when we spend time with someone that we will have an unforgettable impact on their life or improve it in some way. You might also want to know if she still loves you or has feelings for you. It’s common during a break-up for someone to say, ‘I will always love you’, although in reality, once the emotional trauma of the relationship has passed and they have met someone more compatible, this will usually no longer apply.

8. Does she still have my sweater?

One of the most awkward parts of a break-up is always getting your stuff back. Usually, this will take place when one ex-partner fills a box with the other persons belongings, throwing it out of the car outside their house when they know the other person is not in. Conveniently, she might have held on to a few of your jumpers to sleep in. You might wonder if she still has them, or whether they have since been cut into pieces or whether they got thrown into the trash when the relationship did. Is it too late to ask for them back?

7. Does her pet miss me?

Often the innocent and undeserving victims of break-ups, pets don’t get told what’s going on or understand why they will never see you again. Does their heartbreak when they realize you will never again be taking them to the park? Are they still waiting for you to return to throw their favourite ball or sneak them food at the dinner table? Even if you’re not an animal person, when your partner has a pet you can end up loving it anyway, and even if you don’t miss your ex, you might still miss the fluffy little fella who you once resented for waking you up by begging for food every morning.

6. How is her family?

When you’re in a relationship with someone, particularly a long-term relationship, your partner’s family often treat you like their own. You find yourself with a second family that you spend special occasions with, buy birthday presents for, maybe even go on holiday with and care about. When you break-up with someone you don’t just lose them, but their family too. Even if you do keep in touch at first, you often find you have to distance yourself from them, as they are a constant reminder of your ex. Either that or you’re glad to be rid of the second family that you couldn’t stand spending time with.

5. What did I even see in her?

Remember, an ex is an ex for a reason. You broke up because it didn’t work out between you two, there’s no point going back and hoping things might be different. You might now be passed the sadness that comes with a break-up and be thinking, ‘What did I even see in her?’ Wondering why you spent so much of your life wasting it on someone who just wasn’t worth it. Seeing her now might just confirm those thoughts and give you the closure that you need to leave that relationship safely in the past where it belongs. Bye Felicia.

4. Is she following me?

Does it seem a little odd that she has just turned up at the same place as you? She would never have come here when we were together. Did your friend check you in on Facebook to this location then 15 minutes later, she is there too? Maybe, she wants to bump into you, to show you what you’re missing in the hope you might get back together. What if she now turns up everywhere you go and you have to change your local boozer to somewhere else to avoid her? Although, this could just be paranoia talking and it’s actually a coincidence…

3. What an upgrade I’ve got now

If you have been lucky enough to meet someone new since your split, you might be thinking about how your new lady is a significant upgrade on the old one. Seeing her might bring back all the feelings of unhappiness you felt in the relationship with your ex-partner and make you realize how lucky you are to be happy in your new relationship. Even if you haven’t met someone new yet, should you pretend you have in conversation with your ex? Let her think you’ve moved on and are completely over her? Especially, if your bumping into her and her new fella.

2. What can I do to get her back?

You’ve possibly been trying to block out all the emotional pain of the break-up and forget she even existed. Then when you bump into her, you might realize that actually, she might be what you want after all. Maybe, it’s too late, maybe, it’s not. What can you do to win this girl back over? Perhaps, you could try the classic chocolates and flowers method, or it might be as simple as inviting her out for a coffee and a catch-up to see if that spark is still there. Either way, this encounter might make you realize that she’s the one you want to be with.

1. Just forget I saw her

After feeling a whirlwind of emotions from this encounter, you could just try to forget you ever saw her and continue living your life as you were. After all, you were doing just fine until you bumped into her and nothing’s really changed since then, you just saw someone that you used to know. Ignore all the memories and feelings that are surfacing from the past and go out and do something positive for yourself. The past is the past for a reason, keep looking forward and something exciting and worthwhile will come along, whether it be a lad’s holiday or a new crush that will make you forget this ex ever existed.