Getting true love in the form of a girlfriend is a boon. “True love is eternal, infinite, and always like itself. It is equal and pure, without violent demonstrations: it is seen with white hairs and is always young in the heart,” said Honoré de Balzac, a French novelist. But if you’ve gotten yourself a beautiful seductress who treats you like a walking credit card, you must have had done some terrible crap in your previous incarnations because what goes round comes around. But to be in a relationship, or not to be in a relationship? That is the question plaguing you. 

It’s high time and the reigns of your patience have worn off. You have decided that you have to sever all ties with your girlfriend but you are fearful of facing the ire of a woman? Yes, we all are. But say no more brother-in-arms, your predicament can be understood and for that matter here are the fifteen trickiest of ways to break up with her. You won’t need to say the taboo word in front of your girlfriend, just follow the instructions below and wait for them to bear fruit. Surely she’ll come up to you and relieve you of your committed status on Facebook. To get speedy results and invaluable blessings, spread this message to all your brothers out there.

15. Freak her out with your extensive family

LOL! As honest as it seems on your part, this plan will surely work out! Rarely will you
find a girl who’d like to be in a joint family after getting married. Your girlfriend mightn’t like it as privacy is a utopia in joint families. Once after becoming your mistress, she will want you to spend more time with her. In fact, she might have had some romantic thoughts chalked out, for example, cuddling into you while watching television, being naughty etc. Take her to your home and make sure that your grandparents, siblings are there to welcome her. After coming out of your house, she may drop her plan of marrying
you. She will realize that you are not marriage material for her, assuming that she is wise and far-sighted. Even if she’s not wise, wait up, there are 14 more tricks
in here!

14. Abstain from giving her the D

There are two kinds of appetite that a person feels. One that originates above the belt, and
one that originates below the belt. Yes, we are referring to sex. “And it is as important as eating or drinking and we ought to allow the one appetite, to be satisfied with as little restraint or false modesty as the other,” said Marquis de Sade, a French aristocrat, and philosopher. It is a physical as well as a psychological need, the body wants what it wants after all. When you are in the bed with her, both of you enjoy each and every moment. Here you can play a trick, just make her believe that “sex” is a strange and painful thing
for you. And whenever she asks you to spend a night with her, give a strong foolproof reason and escape from her. It will demand a lot of willpower, after all, who does not enjoy being in bed with one’s girlfriend. If you are persistent, her physical needs would go wanting and unsatisfied and she will eventually bid you farewell. Use your willpower, it’s just a matter of time until your relatives fix your marriage. Until then, do well and flush it away!

13. Split Personality – It’s Troll Time

A troll is a mythical creature that has no wit or intelligence, its actions are driven purely by impulsive instinct. The word ‘troll’ has recently become very popular on social media to describe someone who is persistently rude and obnoxious. Now, every girl desires to date a man who has an excellent sense of humor. Your girl is also included in the list. Prove to her that she met the wrong person. Become a troll. When you take her to a party, speak as little as possible and keep checking your phone. You may as well say something in a group, or dress in a weird fashion so that she feels it as an insult to be with you. And of course, on her birthday she would expect you to gift her something. Make sure that you gift her something that brings just one feeling in her mind – loads and loads of DISGUST! Some cheap bad quality watch perhaps that may break the next day would be a perfect example. Once after opening the gift box, she may give you that awkward look, and behold that’s the golden opportunity you were waiting for. Buddy, you have no idea how badly you’ll disappoint her and she’ll make sure your prayers are answered.

12. Hate her beloved pets and she will hate you

Most girls are fond of pets. Your girl has a pet dog too? Congrats, you have a very good reason to orchestrate a breakup. Your girlfriend’s pet is really annoying, but in her eyes it’s a ‘cutie pie’ and she keeps it on your lap whenever you visit her home. Here you can play a trick! Tell her that you are allergic to dogs and/or that you have cynophobia, a
deep-seated fear of dogs. That lie will help you in maintain you distance from her. Is her dog sick? Please, do not offer any help, and behave as if you are not interested in knowing about its health. She will be very upset if you tell her not to bring her ‘cutie pie’ pets to weekend picnics. Now, there would be two options in front of her, the first one is her boyfriend and the second one is her darling pet. Of course, she loves her pet and anyone can replace you. Ouch, that hurt!

11. Show Her That You’re Definitely Not A Gentleman

Did you observe the glow on her face when she clasps your hand tightly? Yes, she feels super-lucky to stand next to a handsome man. When she enters the party, her friends gawk at her with admiration, because she has a handsome hunk accompanying her. In fact, you are her pride or something more than that. Break that image! Keep irritating her with your disgusting habits such as farting, burping and blowing your nose, spitting and whatever vile thing you can come up with. You can start peeping into her phone without her permission or forget your party manners once in a while. Of course, no one wants to live with a jerk. One fine day, you will receive a breakup message from her. To get faster results, pick your nose and dispose it on her bed sheet, a tried and tested
formula.

10. Ignore Her Family

Your girlfriend considers you a member of her family, perhaps she invites you to her home occasionally. And at her home, everyone is aware of your relationship. They have some expectations from you as well. Well, it’s dumping time! Go to her younger brother’s birthday without a gift and purposefully avoid her parents whenever you find them in a restaurant or wedding function. On her parents’ wedding anniversary, invite them for dinner and serve them some cheap food and wine. Make sure your house is highly unhygienic and dirty. Yes, you have successfully conveyed what kind of a person you are. They may start brainwashing their daughter and make her lose all good thoughts that she
has about you. Soon, that ‘has’ will turn into ‘had’ and you’ll become a
single lad.

9. Stop Spending Money On Her

No doubt, if you stop spending money on her you will have a breakup within a month. Being in a relationship, it can be conveniently assumed that you have been buying a lot expensive gifts and also taking her to beautiful places during the weekend. As a result of it, your bank balance has plummeted to record-breaking new lows.

And now, you’ve realized that you want to leave the witch and find a true soulmate. Fine enough. No need to bang your head about it, the solution is as clear as water. Start saying no to her demands! And ask her to pay those hefty bills that she so casually neglects without a thought. She needs a boyfriend who can take care of her shopping bills. When she’ll realize that your pocket has run dry, she’ll start finding a new source, apologies, a new guy.

8. Make Indirect Comments About Her Weight

Girls want to stay fit and maintain a voluptuous figure. But, they get upset when someone starts speaking about their body weight. Go to your girlfriend with a diet chart for her, lol, she will feel embarrassed because it’s an indirect way of telling her that she is fat. When she is having some delicious dishes on her plate, you can sit in front of her and give a lecture on nutrition and add certain keywords like ‘fat’, ‘heavy-weight’ etc. In the beginning, she may feel that her boyfriend is really caring, but after a point of time, she will start avoiding you because you get under her skin.

7. Act Like A Drunk Boor Around Her

No woman wants to tie the wedding knot with a man who is addicted to alcohol. Because this habit will not only ruin her life but also destroy her kids’ future. Your girlfriend also has the same thought. You might have hit the bar along with her, but never crossed the limit. In her eyes, you’re a sensible drinker. But if you make her believe that you are completely addicted to alcohol, and you just pretend to be a light drinker in front of her, she will run away from your arms. Get hundreds of beer bottles from your friends and
hide them shabbily in your bedroom. Your girlfriend is clever, when she’ll enter your room, the first thing that will catch her attention are the empty beer bottles. Your girlfriend is clever, but you’re the fox incarnate.

6. Turn into a demanding control freak

Turn into a control freak that nags her about everything. She wears the clothes that she finds attractive, she goes out with her friends, and she also drinks heavily, coming back in an inebriated state. Sometimes you will find her going to a movie with her male colleagues. Complain to her about all of this. She may feel suffocated to be with you when you’ll start to interfere into her private life with your narrow-minded thoughts. Employ the cheapest mental trickery when dealing with her actions. Yes, you are her boyfriend, but it doesn’t mean that you can restrict her lifestyle, at least that is what she thinks. When it’ll become impossible for her to cope with your actions, she will call it quits with you and block your number! Usually, most  girls go for a breakup due to the same reason. Dictatorship has its set of advantages too, and initiating a breakup is one of them.

5. Show Her That She’s Not As Important As Your Work

By maintaining a workaholic attitude in front of your girlfriend, you can create a gap in your relationship. Keep checking your phone while she talks to you. Ask her not to have a lengthy phone conversation with you as you’ve a huge workload on your shoulders. You must be successful in crafting a “Busy Man” image for yourself. Tell her that your work is your first girlfriend and everything comes next. Your words will create a fear in her mind about your marital life in the future. “What if he is going to do the same?” this question will haunt her. Make her miss your presence and one day she will stop calling you! There is a possibility that your girl will fall for another man who spends more time with her. Not only will you land a promotion at the end of it all, but you’ll bid her goodbye as well. 

4. Let Her Know You’re A Mama’s Boy

Girls usually tend to be very possessive when it comes to their relationships. Your girl is also not an exception. She has no problem with her guy loving his mother, but she will go crazy when she learns that he is a mama’s boy. That can make her develop an insecurity about her relationship. So, the ball is in your court now. Keep praising your mother when your girl is around and also buy some expensive gifts for her. With your girlfriend, you often go shopping and she picks out t-shirts for you. Isn’t that right? Say that your mom doesn’t like the colours she picks out. If possible, disconnect her calls a couple of times and just say that your mom was next to you. It will add fuel to the fire!

3. Tranform From Mr. Smarty to Mr. Flirty

It’s obvious, your girlfriend hangs out with you because you are smart. However, she may get upset when you embrace some other women at parties. However, she can’t express her emotions because she is scared that you will consider her a narrow-minded person. But deep inside, she is suspicious about your behaviour. While having coffee with her, look at
hot women who can be easily be found roaming around. Make sure that your girlfriend is observing your behaviour, otherwise, all your efforts will be wasted, well not altogether. Show some extra concern for your female colleagues. In her mind, you are a womanizer or someone who is likely to have an extramarital affair. Dude, she has already decided to forget you. You did a great job!

2. Show Her That You’re A Lazy Slob

A bad boyfriend can’t be an excellent husband, she is aware of this fact. While spending time with you as a girlfriend she gets many opportunities to know how responsible you are. No doubt, she will never marry you if she finds that you are a lazy person who is totally unfit for marriage. Because one bad decision may break her future into pieces. She has seen the struggle of other women who have been leading a miserable life with irresponsible husbands. And she doesn’t want to get into the same boat! So, rather than regretting later, she may dump you now. To make this plan successful, you have to wear the mask of a lazy person. Forget the chores, or any favour she asked you to do.
Sleep, eat and repeat.

1. Tell Her That You Will Never Get Married

She has been serious about this relationship since the beginning, you were also the same. But you changed your mind after realizing that she is not ‘The One’. Just like all other women, she also dreams of getting married and settling down with you. Tell her that you have no plans for marriage as of now or that you simply hate that social institution. Also, request her to remain your girlfriend forever. Don’t be surprised at her reaction! She will reject your offer in a polite tone. And one day you will find her in a function holding hands with her hubby. Yes, she fulfilled her dream, that of getting married, but with a different
groom.