Ah, the American way of life. Everything from Valentine’s Day, to pulling on a pair of comfy jeans, to going out for a jog, to watching what you want to watch when we want to watch it; America is the land of the free and the home of the brave, where just about anything goes. And American culture has gone global, with young wannabes in China and Saudi Arabia and North Korea dressing like Americans, wearing their hair like Americans and talking like Americans. But the so-called lord of the universe is not universally admired. Sometimes it’s a political thing. Countries like North Korea resent American power and imperialism. Sometimes it’s a cultural thing. France resents American influence over everything from food to movies. And sometimes it’s a moral/religious issue. For some Islamic states, where even just walking up to a girl in public is forbidden, “the American way” is corrupt and seductive. And finally, sometimes the laws are just plain crazy and quirky. Australia is full of such edicts. Here are 17 shocking things that you can legally do in America that are banned, illegal and very frowned upon elsewhere.

17. Wearing Blue Jeans

North Korea is not a nice place to live. Dictator Kim Jong-un can be seen as a dangerous nutcase, intent on controlling just about every aspect of his people’s lives. Now, we all know that the guy hates America and Americans and, when he’s not attending yet another missile launch, he is coming up with new dictates. He is, after all is said and done, a dictator. So, last year he banned that icon of the American pursuit of happiness and comfort, the blue jean. It’s supposedly a symbol of American cultural imperialism that is “seducing” a growing number of young North Koreans. So in come the blue jean police? Something like that. “Inspection groups” are roaming the streets in order to monitor dangerous “capitalist tendencies”.

Long hair is also a no-no. Breach that one and the authorities will take a razor to your head. Hey, babe, your skirt is way too short. We can see your knees.

Thinking of moving to Canada? Well, if you do, don’t you dare pack your kid’s favorite baby walker. You know. Those sling chairs on wheels that allow infants who can’t walk yet to move around. Why? Well, the Canadian government banned those wondrous wheelie wonders in 2004. Seems the government did some research and decided they were dangerously prone to accidents like tipping over and falling down stairs. What’s more, parking a kid in them can delay motor and mental development. And if you break the law it’s not just a slap on the wrist, either. If the authorities catch you either owning, selling or reselling a baby walker, guess what? The offence can result in fines of up to $100,000.

15. Pink Hot Pants

Australia, the land down under, is a truly weird place. It’s kind of English and kind of not. It’s the sort of place where getting drunk in a pub is illegal, taxi drivers are required to carry a bale of hay in their trunk and it’s illegal to leave keys in an unattended vehicle. So, if your car gets stolen, you and the the thief could be sharing a cell? Yes, sad but true. And in the Australian state of Victoria, it’s illegal to wear pink hot pants on Sunday afternoon. Monday through Saturday is fine. You can even roll up to a morning church service wearing them. But, when the clock strikes 12:00, those pink hot pants better be gone. So, which is worse, getting done for pink hot pants or getting done for being a good citizen and taking them off in public?

14. Changing A Light Bulb

We’re sticking with totally wacko Australia for this one. Sure, they do things differently than in America. Like England, they drive on the left hand side of the road. But, they don’t stop there. It’s illegal to even walk down the right hand side of a road. It gets worse. In the state of Victoria, so say it’s illegal, forbidden and very naughty to change a light bulb unless you are a licensed electrician. WTF? That’s just nuts, we say. Apparently, it harks back to an earlier time when electricity was in its infancy and the electricians’ union lobbied hard to get the law enacted. Unions are like that. So, reportedly, if your bedside lamp goes dark and you change the bulb yourself, you could face a fine of around AU$10. Look at it this way, though: It’s still cheaper than calling an electrician.

13. Sporting A Beard

12. Providing Ketchup In School Cafeterias

Ketchup is as American as apple pie. It really is. The Brits did a version using mushrooms rather than tomatoes that looked and tasted gross. But good old Uncle Sam (or one of his daughters) came up with tomato ketchup in the nineteenth century. Now, the French are very French. And in 2011, the government banned tomato ketchup from school and college cafeterias. Why? Well, it isn’t French. Imagine pouring ketchup over a veal stew, the government moaned. But, there is one exception to the ban. Schools can offer ketchup as a condiment with (wait for it) French fries. And there’s more: French fries can only be offered once a week. So what happens if a kid smears ketchup on his bread? Not clear if the food police would lock him/her up or cuff the principal.

11. Playing Scrabble

10. Going Out For A Jog

The Washington Post headline was a shocker: “Why jogging or going to church can get you arrested (in Burundi).” WTF? Seems that half the population of the small Central African nation of Burundi are young and jogging was a big social activity. Weekends saw masses of young people jogging solo or in groups. Let’s face it, there’s not a lot to do in that extremely poor, underdeveloped part of the world. But when jogging groups started protesting against the government in 2014, they were arrested for “illegal assembly”. So, what’s the big deal? You could get life (yes life) in prison for it. And the church thing? Seems the government is pro-Catholic and anti-anything else. So, it was considering restricting the ability of the evangelical churches that were moving into the country to operate.

9. Vacuuming

Back to Australia for this one. In sunny Melbourne, cleaning your house is illegal. Well, not quite, but vacuuming your house between 10 p.m. and 7 a.m. during weekdays, and 10 p.m. and 9 a.m. during the weekends and public holidays is against the law. It’s a noise thing, you see. If any of your neighbors can hear even just a little bit of noise, you could get a visit from the residential noise squad. Talking of cleaning, we all remember the cross-dressing movie character Mrs. Doubtfire running amok with his/her vacuum cleaner. The good city of Melbourne has reportedly also enacted a law that makes it illegal for cross-dressing men to appear on a street in a “dress without straps”. So, strapless guys in Melbourne are a big no-no. We think Melbourne sounds kind of like a kinky place. Dirty, too.

8. Dying

It’s a tough life for the ill and old in the Norwegian archipelago of Svalbard. Everyone is banned from dying there. Whoa! A ban on dying? See, the problem is the ground is permanently frozen, making digging a hole to stick a body in an impossible job. So, if you know you are about to die, get out? That’s about it. According to the Daily Mail, the mayor of the town has gone on record, saying, “In Svalbard, Norway, there is a ban on dying. The reason for this is that the permanently frozen ground will not only tend to keep your buried remains from decomposing and push them to the surface, it may also perfectly preserve the disease that killed you, for locals to pick up later.” That’s a real yukky point and reminds us of a Norwegian version of The Walking Dead with bodies popping up out of the ground.

7. Strip Clubs

What red-blooded American guy hasn’t found himself in a strip club somewhere, maybe getting a lap dance or two and tucking a $20 bill into that ample cleavage? If you like your strip clubs cool and the girls hot, don’t go on vacation in icy Iceland. Sure some countries have banned strip clubs on moral and/or religious grounds. But little Iceland has declared itself the world’s leading feminist country with a 2010 law that says it’s illegal for employers and businesses to profit from the nudity of employees. That means the topless waitress is also history. Sigh. Iceland’s female prime minister, Johanna Sigurdardottir, is openly gay and outspoken on feminism and women’s rights. She is intent on closing down the country’s s*x industry. And with around half of the country’s parliamentarians being female, she’s got a fighting chance of doing just that.

6. Watching Soap Operas

Not just any soap opera. If you are North Korean and are caught watching South Korean soap operas, you could, and probably would, be executed. Publicly executed. In 2014 alone, some 50 people were terminated. That number included a few Communist party officials caught watching (shock and horror) soap operas on South Korean TV. Imagine that! Korean soap operas can kill you. The government also threw in charges of bribery and womanizing. “Corrupt” South Korean TV and any hint of Westernization are both real no-nos in a country where television and the media are under constant surveillance and strict state control. But, human nature being what it is, we all know that if you tell somebody they can’t have something, they’re going to try harder to get it. Enter the smugglers and here come those Western DVDs and CDs.

5. Having A Dirty House

Well, not the whole house. It’s the paved footpath in front of your house that is the issue. Take our advice: Don’t even think about owning a house in Brisbane, Australia. Why? Well there’s a law that says you must, must, must sweep the footpath outside your home daily before 8:30 a.m. or (wait for this) face a AU$5,000 fine, with another AU$500 thrown in for each additional day. What is it with the Aussies? No pink hot pants after mid-day Sunday, no strapless cross-dressers, no nocturnal vacuuming, no changing light bulbs and on and on. Now we know that the country was, in part, first populated by criminals and nutcases that got shipped over from mother country England, but is the whole place still barking bonkers? Apparently so.

4. Turning Right On A Red Light

You pull up to the red light and want to turn right. You stop. You look. You turn. It’s truth, justice and the American right to turn right on a red light if the coast is clear. It’s a god-given, universal right, isn’t it? Well, sorry, no it isn’t. Think about it. In, say, New Zealand, they drive on the left hand side of the road. So turning right at a red light would mean you would have to cross traffic. Okay, you’re saying, the New Zealand equivalent would be turning left on a red light. It’s the “down under” equivalent of turning right on a red light. Sorry, sport. Can’t do. Red light means stop in New Zealand and can only be overruled by a police officer. Like Australia, New Zealand is full of sheep and nutcases. And very weird laws.

3. Plastic Bags

Hooray! Plastic bags are banned in countries such as China, Bangladesh, Italy and South Africa. Stores can’t give them out to shoppers. A movement in the U.S. has seen some twenty states ban the environmental nightmares, but in most States, they are still freely available. It’s not hard to see why many are campaigning hard to ban the bag. Those pesky conveniences are a pollution problem, can harm wild and fish life and are a nightmare to recycle. Some countries get real sneaky and tax the things, forcing stores to underwrite recycling. Bangladesh introduced a strict ban after a series of floods submerged around two-thirds of the country. The cause was littered plastic bags that clogged up the waterways.

2. Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is illegal in Saudi Arabia, Malaysia, Iran, Russia and Indonesia. In 2012, couples celebrating in Malaysia were caught and arrested for being in “close proximity”, a crime you can get jail time for. And forget any kind of PDA in countries where even just walking up to a girl in public is forbidden. Young people have to get really sneaky sometimes, hiding behind clothes racks in stores to exchange phone numbers. Mean old Iran has banned hearts, red roses and other reminders of the holiday for lovers. In Saudi Arabia, floral and candy shops are raided. They don’t mess around in Saudi land. In 2014, five Saudi men were sentenced to 32 years in prison and 4,500 lashes. Why? They held a Valentine’s Day party and got caught.

1. Adultery

A scene from a movie. OK, adultery is indeed illegal in 21 of the United States, but not the remaining 29. It will come as no surprise to anybody that some of the strictest bans on adultery are found in countries governed by Islamic law. The list includes Saudi Arabia, Pakistan and Somalia. And you better believe that the offense is vigorously prosecuted, with punishment including fines, getting banged up, flogging and, in some cases death. Women, even r*pe victims, are often targeted for extreme punishment. Not only has a r*pe victim been violated, they are then faced with an uphill battle to prove that they were not a willing participant. In Somalia in 2008, a 13-year-old victim was stoned to death by 50 men. Chilling stuff

Sources: dailymail, cbc, latimes