The amount of communication breakdowns in a relationship are surprisingly amusing, especially if the guy (no offense) asks the wrong questions. They can’t help it, ladies, they’re wired a little bit differently. Guys tend to think more with their logical/rational brain and usually are not tuned in with their emotions as much as women are. Women are emotional, yes, but highly intuitive as well. This doesn’t mean that men can go around saying shit about how women are emotional, because if you are, it means you’re not as in touch with your emotions as you should be. It is very important to be vulnerable in these situations because it shows your authenticity.

Now as men, it is important to stand strong, grounded and to not let a woman take advantage of you, but the same goes for women. There needs to be a balance in relationships and it all stems back to communication. With all egos aside, how do you effectively communicate your needs to your partner? We all make mistakes and it’s ok. Just learn from them so you won’t upset your wife/girlfriend again.

Let’s cut to the chase. Here are 20 things you don’t ever say to a woman:

20. “No”

If you’re not interested in her, it is best to immediately tell her straight up with the full truth, to avoid any heartbreak. If you tell a woman ‘no’, chances are that they will figure out a way to get what they want, with or without you. For example, she asks you to run to the store to get something and you say no. She will probably sigh and then do it herself. Or say she wants you to drop your plans with your buddies for her and you say no. She may be upset at the beginning for not getting what she wanted, but will recognize you for standing up to her. It’s important for you to not let her walk all over you, so you can continue to have respect for yourself and her as well.

19. “Just let it go”

Silly statement. Be prepared for a blacklash and some arguments. If you tell a woman to “let it go,” it means that they have to let go of caring, their feelings, and how to analyze the situation. It’s difficult for us to let go of something, especially when something or someone meant so much. It can be overwhelming, affecting us deeply and it may take a while for someone to figure out how he or she feels and how to cope with the loss. How would you feel? After all, letting go of attachments are worth it in the end by creating space to bring in better things and feelings.

18. “How many men have you been with?”

No woman wants to hear this question. That’s like asking, “how many women have you been with?” It’s very awkward and is a touchy subject. How would you respond? What if her number was more than yours? Would you call her a slut or something worse? Or what if her number was less? Would you shame her by being less experienced than you? What happens if she was a virgin? The past is in the past for a reason; it’s not meant to be brought up again. The number of people someone has been with shouldn’t even matter. What matters is that she’s with you NOW, in the present, and only (hopefully) you.

17. “You’re hot”

Ew, really? Don’t you have any other word to best compliment a woman? Call her beautiful, or stunning, or radiant, glowing, etc., just like the Goddess she actually is. No woman wants to be called hot, not unless if they are stating that they are hot and dripping with sweat. After all, she’s a woman and not a temperature. On the opposite side, is it ok if a woman were to call a man ‘hot?’ There are other adjectives that women can use as well.

16. “Is it your time of the month?”

Funny. If it were my time of the month, I would let you know. At least that way, we could avoid this conversation. For some women, their hormones are out of balance when they PMS, about a week before their period. This is when it’s time to be a bit more sensitive towards them and their feelings. Sometimes they don’t want to control their emotions, and it’s important to just be present and hold space for them. If they want to cry, let them cry. If they need you to get a tub of their favourite ice cream, be the bigger person and help them out.

15. “My Ex…”

Save yourself, DO NOT TALK ABOUT YOUR EX… EVER! This goes for both men and women. If you’re so consumed by your ex, why aren’t you still with them? It just shows that you’re being childish and you’re not really over them by bringing that into your current relationship. Your ex is in your past for a purpose. If you’re still hurt and upset, you shouldn’t get into another relationship until you have figured out the reasons why the relationship didn’t work in the first place. “My ex and I did this in bed, so can we do it?” No, we can’t. That’s an immediate turn off.

14. “Are you going to eat all of that?”

Imagine walking into a buffet and you see your woman make herself a packed plate of food and then later go up for more. You might as well call her fat. Perhaps she has a high metabolism and needs to eat the extra calories. Does she train and is having a cheat meal? Let her eat. If she wants to upgrade to super-size, let her. How would you feel if she asked you the same question? Save this question for your own thoughts and be impressed that she can keep up with you at the buffet. I’m sure she would save room for dessert later 😉

13. “You wouldn’t understand, it’s a guy thing…”

This statement basically says that she is stupid and doesn’t understand you. How would you know? Given the fact that women are more emotional and intuitive then men, wouldn’t you think she might be able to understand what you are going through? The question is, are you afraid of letting her see the real you? If you act a bit more vulnerable and open up to her, then she would do the same for you. This builds more trust and faith in conversations within a relationship, and that is ultimately what you want and need.

12. “I don’t care”

Well, that’s upsetting. Do you even care about the relationship? If she’s asking you for your opinion, say something. Contribute to the conversation and try to avoid being superficial and indecisive. Be the bigger man, show up to your emotions, and speak what’s on your mind. If you want seafood, then say you want seafood for dinner. If you want out of the relationship, then say it. Grow some balls and mean what you say; women want to have a man who isn’t afraid of speaking up.

11. “Can we have a threesome?”

Have you ever had someone ask you for a threesome while they were still inside of you? It may be one of the most disgraceful things a man can say to a woman, especially during sex. They are clearly thinking of someone else while they are inside of you, so that’s why they ask. This question is obviously best after sex, when you want to talk about having an open relationship or want to try something new. It really upsets and devalues a woman’s worth and pride, adding a lack of respect and appreciation on your end. It’s beautiful and sacred to be in a partnership, but when you add another person into the mix, you’re adding another person’s emotions and feelings on top of two. Frankly, that is one too many, but it is your prerogative.

10. “Have you gained weight?”

If a woman has gained weight, they would be the first to notice and realize. It doesn’t help if their partner asks the same question; it only adds to their emotional havoc and then they may choose to eat more and feel even more guilty about their eating habits. A better question is, “want to go for a run or do something active today?” Awesome if they say yes. If they don’t want to, then let them be miserable while you go and do something good for yourself. They would be the one to suffer in the end. This also applies if you ask a woman if she’s pregnant and she’s not. Whoops.

9. “You look ‘tired’”

‘Tired’ is code for looking like shit – not a good thing to say. What if she’s sick, hungover, or didn’t get enough sleep? She is still beautiful. The obnoxious comment may not have been intended to be an insult, but it is. You can say something else that would be kinder and less irritating, and may even help make her feel better. Help her out and get her a coffee or let her sleep a bit longer. It would assist her and help protect your sanity by avoiding wary confrontation.

8. “You knew I was like this”

Well, you clearly have a character fault that you need to work on and you’re refusing to believe it if you’re saying this to a woman. It’s very important to consult with your shadows because once you do the grunt work, you will have more space to give and receive the love you need and deserve. Just because you have a fault, acknowledge and accept it before you make the necessary changes. Even if you can’t do something, you can always ask for help and I’m sure your partner would be more than willing to assist, all it takes is asking.

7. The C-Word

Cunt: a derogatory slang word for women’s genitals and the absolute worst word to call a woman in the English language. If you called a woman a cunt, chances are your face would be red and swollen after she slapped the hell out of it, or worse. If you want to offend a woman, you can use other words. If she did something bad to you and you’re not over it, forgive and move on. Your life is too short to hold a grudge. Shout out to the Aussies: be careful when saying this around someone from outside your country or else you will get beat.

6. “Is that what you’re going to wear?”

Never undermine what a woman wants to wear. If she wants to cover up and be comfortable, let her. If she wants to reveal her boobs, stomach or ass, let her. If she wants to dress completely outrageous and against the norm, let her. She doesn’t want to fit in, let her. However, she will want you to stand by her side and encourage her to be different. Aren’t we all different anyways? Why would you want to be the same as everyone else? If you’re worried about what other people will think, you have a bigger problem and shouldn’t drag her into it.

5. “You’re crazy”

HA! Aren’t we all crazy? Even if it were true, you will see a different side of her. Women can go from zero to ‘bat shit crazy’ REAL quick, and you definitely do not want to be around her when she does. It just adds more fuel to the fire. There are other sides of ‘crazy’: crazy adventurous – wanting to take risks and stepping outside of your comfort zone is great and should be done, with consent. Crazy in love/lust – someone can make you so crazy that you don’t want to leave their side. If this is the case, enjoy each moment you have with them and remember to take some space if you need it. ‘Bat shit crazy’ – just get out of that situation as FAST as you can.

4. “Was that good enough for you?”

If you’re saying this in bed, you clearly haven’t done your job and there needs to be some improvements. If you satisfied your woman, you would know because she would tell you and be extremely happy, joyful, and smiling from the pleasure. If she’s silent, there’s a problem. It’s important to communicate during sex so your partner learns what you like and how your body operates. If something doesn’t feel good, tell them. If something feels amazing, tell them. This creates confidence and trust in yourself and your relationship and you won’t ever have to question yourself when you both climax.

3. “I don’t like your friends”

Chances are, your girlfriend/wife comes in a package with her best girlfriends, so if you don’t like them, they won’t like you, which changes the whole relationship. Women always look to their friends for support and guidance. If you can’t measure up to them, then it puts your woman in an awkward position of choosing you over her friends. It’s not wise to remove her from her friends anyway, because she has free will to do whatever she wants. If you don’t like her friends, you probably won’t like her in the long run. Keep that comment to yourself and your guy friends.

2. “Calm down”

This is the last thing that a woman needs to hear when she’s mad and upset in an argument. Are you taking the time to listen to what she has to say? Stop and take a deep breath before you confront her so you are more relaxed and can think clearly before making your rebuttal. Once she sees that you’re calm and relax, she will follow suit. Nothing good ever comes from being stressed out and upset in an argument. If you took the time to listen to her, she should be able to listen to you. If she interrupts, say you had your moment, now listen to me. Don’t forget to take deep breaths if you need it so you’re calm, cool, and collected.

1. “Did you finish?”

If she came, you would know. Just because she’s wet doesn’t mean she came. That happens naturally if you’re thrusting inside of her. If you play with her clit long enough, you will know when she’s about to cum if her pelvic muscles are contracting and she’s moaning or about to climax. It’s the same for you, man, you know the feeling when you’re about to cum; it’s just that peak feeling you get before you ejaculate. Psychology Today reported that only 25 percent of women constantly orgasm during intercourse, which in real life, is low. So realistically, it’s ok if your woman doesn’t cum during sex; you have to try a little harder to pleasure her, even if it means being patient. I promise, it’s worth the wait.