We’ve all been there, right? You’re on a night out with the lads, the beers have been flowing, the tequila shots are kicking in and you’re all winding each other up guessing who is going to be the one getting laid that night. Through your hazy, drunken beer goggles you end up pulling a bird who regrettably, when you get her home, just isn’t your type. However, instead of sending her home in a taxi, you end up bedding her anyway, justifying your position to the lads as the ultimate ladies’ man.

Or maybe you’ve been seeing this girl for a while, it’s been going OK, she seems nice enough but honestly, you know she’s not the one. You’ve been meaning to cut it off for a while, but she doesn’t seem to be on the same wavelength. There’s only so many times you can ignore her calls and take days to respond to her texts before it gets awkward. You don’t want to be the one to hurt her feelings and there’s no harm in two adults enjoying each other’s company, right?

However, the situation arrived, here are the 15 thoughts every guy has when bedding a girl he’s just not into.

15. How did it get to this?

It seems like just a second ago we were taking the mick out of Steve’s new haircut, Snapchatting our lads antics on our phone with one hand, our hand-eye coordination failing us as the pint that’s in our other hand spills onto our jeans and t-shirt. The night may have got off to a slow start as a few of the lads couldn’t make it, but ended up a messy one as always. We didn’t really think that inviting home the girl we met at the bar a few hours ago would really work, but hey, perhaps we’re underestimating the charm, charisma and undeniable good looks of drunk us.

14. I hope she doesn’t think I like her

We might have given her a few compliments and bought her a few drinks, she surely won’t think that means we want a relationship with her? What if she’s one of those crazy girls who has already mapped out our future, planned our wedding and named our kids? We’re hoping she doesn’t go home and tell her family and friends that she’s met someone. Or perhaps she is a genuinely nice girl looking for someone special, we really don’t want to be the one to hurt her feelings but we just don’t want a future with this girl. Is it too late to abort mission…?

13. How soon can I ask her to leave?

What if she tries to stay for a while after? What if she never leaves? Should we try and think up some excuses in case an escape plan is needed. Perhaps, we could get one of the boys to call us and pretend it’s an emergency? Or tell her that our parents are coming over, so she will need to go before they get there? What if she wants to meet our parents? Maybe, we will just go with the excuse that our housemate is due home soon and doesn’t like having guests in the house, and that he is a really angry, unreasonable guy? Yeah, that sounds believable we’ll go with that.

12. This is great practice for the one

Well, we’ve got to get some practice in for when we meet the girl we really want to spend our life with. We don’t want to meet the girl of our dreams and not be able to keep her happy in the bedroom. And after all she’s not going to expect us to be a virgin, right? As they say, practice makes perfect, therefore the practice we’re getting in is completely justified, some might even say it’s essential. In fact, maybe we should try some new moves, find out what girls really like. We might even learn a thing or two, it’s really educational…

11. Is this really what I want?

Do we really want to bed girls that we don’t like? Surely there’s better feeling than this. Maybe we want to find a girlfriend instead, someone who we can share our life with, grow old with and have meaningful sex with. That way we won’t want to rush her out the door each time she comes around or worry that she might contact us again because we will want to spend time with her. We are sometimes envious of the lads in relationships, they have someone who cares about them that they can count on no matter what. Someone to support them and make them genuinely happy. When is the right time to grow up and settle down?

10. Will she still set me up with her hot friend?

OK, so ideally, we had our eye on that hot friend of hers but as they say, what will be will be. Perhaps, she won’t even tell her friend about this, that way we’ll still be in with a chance. And after all, it’s not like this means anything. Is it too awkward to ask her about her friend afterwards? Maybe we should wait a few weeks, or maybe we should have just tried our chances with her friend in the first place. Oh, who are we kidding, girls tell each other everything. We’ve now completely blown our chances with that hot friend.

9. Did the lads see me leave with her?

Wonder what the lads are up to now, one of them is probably vomiting into a street gutter, whilst the others tuck into a kebab and some cheesy chips. Hope we’re not missing out on too much, although I’m sure we will be able to catch up via Snapchat and the group WhatsApp in the morning. Maybe one of them pulled too and will we be sharing stories of our latest conquests. Did they even see us leave with this girl? We better remind them so they don’t think we just went home early, not sure we even said goodbye anyway.

8. Will she expect me to contact her after?

We know the polite thing to do is ask for her number but the thing is we don’t really want to. Surely, she won’t expect us to contact her after. We really can’t be bothered to send a few awkward texts, especially when we have no real interest in following up her after our initial encounter. What would we even say? We would certainly like to avoid leading her on. We just won’t mention anything about seeing her and hopefully it won’t get brought up, and if it does, perhaps we should just tell her straight up we don’t want to see her again. OR we could say our phone is broken, or even better that we’re leaving the country tomorrow, for a very long time…

7. Think of someone else…

Perhaps, we would enjoy this more if we were thinking about someone else. Not that there’s anything wrong with this girl, but we’re not really that into it and it might be more enjoyable to think of say… Margo Robbie or Katy Perry. All guys do it and what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her. Obviously, both are way out of our league and we stand absolutely no chance with either of them, but hey a guy can dream! It’s not like we will see this girl again either, she will never find out that we were really picturing someone else.

6. I hope my ex finds out

They do say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. This may sound harsh but we all like to get a bit of revenge on our ex, especially if it was a bad or messy break-up. Hopefully, she will hear about this and know for sure that we are completely over her. Even if we do still feel a tightening in our chest when we see photos on Instagram of her and her new man loved up on holiday. Maybe, she’ll even be so jealous she will realize what she’s missing and try to win us back. Unlikely, but you never know.

5. Is she even enjoying this?

Maybe, it’s time to stop thinking about ourselves for a second and wonder if this girl is having a good time. Do we need to up our game? Does she think we’re bad in bed? After all, we don’t want her going around telling people we’re not up to the challenge, especially, that hot friend of hers that we have been trying to pull for weeks. We would never live it down with the lads if she told anyone. It’s just difficult because we’re not that into it and it’s been going on way too long now… it’s getting awkward.

4. Completely random thoughts

Should I get Mexican after this? Is it time to trim my beard? Did my flatmate just get home? Did I send that email at work? Why am I thinking about football? Did I lock the front door? We don’t know how or why these thoughts come, but sure enough, they are there. They may be distracting us from our main goal, and sometimes trying not to think about these thoughts can make even more random thoughts start popping up in our head, but they can also be pretty useful when we need some help to keep going a bit longer.

3. Birth control thoughts

If we’re not wise enough to have put on a condom, we may have a mid-session panic about birth control. After all, we are having sex with someone we’re not even into, surely that’s a sign enough that we are not yet ready to be a father? We’re also hoping that this girl is free from any sexual diseases and infections that might make us unappealing to future sexual partners. Even when protection is definitely in play, we’re still worrying that it might have split, ultimately leading to the end of our single bachelor lifestyle and the start of a new life with responsibilities we are just not ready for.

2. Maybe she doesn’t like me either

All this worrying about whether the girl will become clingy, try to exchange numbers and see us again. Perhaps, we need to consider that she doesn’t even like us that much in the first place? Maybe, she is having the exact same thoughts and can’t wait to get out of here as fast as she can. But surely that can’t be the case, we’re an absolute catch? When we look in the mirror we may see a handsome sex god staring back at us, but perhaps she sees an average Joe in beer stained clothes, looking for a good time with no strings attached. Maybe, it’s time to give the girl a break?

1. Forget all of the above

When all the above thoughts have floated around our head there comes a time when there is just nothing to think of but living in the moment. Why worry about tomorrow when we’re not done living today? One day we will meet someone we are into and our lives will change for the good, then these nights will just be memories and part of our past. But for now, we’re just enjoying living one day at a time, being free and having fun. And to be honest, the girl that we’re not into but still spending time with… she’s probably doing the same.