It’s the Internet. Everybody lies. Is that true? Here’s something to think about: According to dating site eharmony.com, 53 percent of people who use online dating websites lie. In reality? The New York Times pegs the number at 81 percent. Now that sounds about right. Admittedly, the lies are most often little white ones and not whoopers. Women shave a year or two off their age and guys add an inch or two to their height. Online, women are thin and stacked and guys are tall and rich. People on online dating sites are trying, in the nicest possible way, to sell themselves to a potential date or mate. So, guys tend to exaggerate things like how much money they have and how important they are and women tend to subtract years off their age and add inches to their bust. Now, if you are telling little white lies, you just might get away with it. Say, if you’re 40-years-old and claim to be 37, or you are 5 feet 11 inches and say you are 6 feet, you might just pull it off. The trouble comes when little white lies turn into whoopers that you can’t possibly hope to get away with. It’s the Internet, after all. Lying is a way of life. Here are 8 things guys lie about and 7 things women tend to lie about online. We know you haven’t. Or have you?

15. Man: “I Want A Relationship” Means I Want “It”

In You’ve Got Mail, Tom Hanks goes in for a spot of deception to win over Meg Ryan. Now, really, really dumb guys will write a profile and be honest and say they are only looking for the deed. That means they are not going to get any. So, what most guys do is rabbit on and on about how they want a deep and meaningful relationship with one woman. And for some guys, that may be true. But there are guys out there who are signing up for online dating sites because they are just looking for s*x, plain and simple. They are the ones that go from an email or two and maybe a very brief phone call to wanting to meet up, like yesterday. The hookup artist won’t want to meet his date at the restaurant. No, he wants to pick her up. Plus, they don’t go in for daytime meet and greets for coffee. They go straight to dinner, complete with a lot of booze. Then, back in the car with his date, he suggests they go back to his place for a drink….

14. Online Women Are Thin

Women tend to lie about their weight. “A few extra pounds” can, in reality, get you stuck with a chick who looks like Gwyneth Paltrow in her fat suit in the movie Shallow Hal. In that movie, Shallow Hal (Jack Black) is hypnotized and, afterwards, can only see the inner beauty of anybody he meets. So, he thinks he has the chick on the left, when what he’s really got is the blimp on the right. Why on earth would a woman lie about their weight? Like, unless she ends up with a blind guy, it’s going to be obvious the moment she meets him. Well, usually they say something like this: “I really and truly thought you would see how beautiful I am on the inside and my weight wouldn’t matter.” We know. That’s delusional BS big time. What you have in front of you is a big fat liar. And that is not a good thing.

13. Woman: Of Course It’s A Recent Picture

You probably don’t bother reading her ten-page profile. Guys are visual. You go straight for the pictures. And you like what you see. So, you go to meet the hot, young blonde you saw in the pictures and some chick who’ll never see 50 again shows up. You probably don’t even recognize her. Or, maybe you think the girl’s mom has shown up instead. Women tend to post pictures of themselves that are way old. So, in them they are probably a lot younger and a lot thinner than they are in real life. If you are smart, you will study the pictures, looking for telltale signs of coming from a different time and place. The clothes and the hair are usually dead giveaways. And don’t forget the wonders of Photoshop. It can banish the bulge and smooth out those lines and wrinkles in no time.

12. Man: I’m Divorced

So, a guy you met online says he’s divorced. Only thing is, nobody told his wife! Married guys are just about always after one thing: And it’s NOT interesting conversation. Telltale signs? Well, he only calls you on his cell, say maybe on his way to work and on his drive back home at the end of the day. You can’t seem to reach him at night or on weekends when he’s at home. And when you go “out”, you tend to either stay in at a hotel or drive miles and miles to a restaurant way, way out of town. Unless he’s really smart (and they usually aren’t), what’s going to happen is that you will get a call on your cell one day from his wife. And trust us. She won’t be inviting you over for dinner. And she won’t believe you didn’t know the truth. So, don’t even try to explain. Just pray you aren’t named in the divorce.

11. Man: I Am Athletic And Toned

So, his snaps look a little bit like Russell Crowe in Gladiator. He describes himself as “athletic and toned”. And when you meet? You get a fat guy with a scruffy beard and an attitude. Now, most chicks who lie online about their body know full well that they are lying. They know they are going to get rumbled fast. But what about the guys? Sure, some are just out and out liars. But a few are genuinely delusional and don’t see themselves as they really are. When you meet, he’ll tell you he’s already lost ten pounds (a lie) and only has another five to go. Here’s a nice little surprise for you men: According to the New York Times, women prefer their guys to be just a little bit overweight. But there’s bad news for the girls: Guys prefer their women thin. It’s not fair. But it is totally real.

10. Woman: I’m Stacked

Victoria Beckham without and with implants. Online babes are always chesty, stacked and curvy. Or, at least, they say they are. The bad news is that hot picture you’re ogling is probably faked in some way. Guys who have been doing online dating a while know this big time. They will have been burned on more than one occasion. Guys lie about their height and their wealth. Chicks lie about their “assets”, weight and looks. So, women dig around their archives, post the most flattering boob pictures they can find and hope for the best. If women want guys who are tall and wealthy (which they do), guys want women to be thin and stacked arm candy. Sorry. It’s not nice. But it is the way it is. By the way, Victoria had her implants taken out. She’s already got her man.

9. Man: Lord Of The Universe

It’s a power thing. On dating sites, guys tend to lie about how important they are. And that includes often lying big time about how senior they are at work. So, they pretend to be Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) with the corner office in Wall Street or Jordan Belfort (Leonardo DiCaprio) in The Wolf of Wall Street, when, in reality, they work in the mail room and are getting on to a nobody at work. Guys will also lie about how many people they have under them. No, not like that. Like as in assistants and flunkies at their beck and call. Like we said, it’s a male testosterone kind of a thing. And what do you get with power? Of course, you get lots and lots of money. As Gordon Gekko famously said: “Greed is good.”

8. Man: I Have A Lot Of Money

According to the Telegraph, dating site men add between 20 and 40 percent to their annual income. So, he says he makes $100,000 a year and he probably makes around $60,000? That’s about it. On the first date, he turns up in a beat up old pick-up and tells you he prefers it to the Mercedes that is in his garage. Sure. We believe that. Not. Guys get off on being rich and important, just like chicks get off on being attractive and desirable. And, let’s face it, if you had a choice between two nice guys, one of whom was rich and the other who was poor, which would you go for? Trust us. Just like guys go straight for the pictures, women tend to check out a guy’s salary and net worth first. It’s a big selling point. Sorry short and poor guys. Women want men who are (wait for it) tall and wealthy. Speaking of tall…

7. Man: I Am 6 Feet Tall

So, you are expecting Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito shows? Something like that. It’s not usually that bad. But, on average, men add a couple of inches to their height. See, it’s just a fact that women go for taller, rather than shorter, guys. It’s all about their manly presence. Plus chicks usually want a boyfriend to be at least a little taller than they are. So, a guy is 5 feet 10 inches. He’s probably going to say he is 6 feet. No big deal. It really gets problematic if a guy really is a short-a**, say around 5 feet 5 inches. He’s probably going to be shorter than most of his dates. And that’s just a big turn off for many women. So, what can a guy do? Lie. And then find some not too obvious platform shoes. Then poof up your hair and try to meet her sitting down.

6. Woman: Money Isn’t Important To Me

What a total whooper! One of the first things a girl is going to do, probably even before she’s studied his pictures and profile, is to check out his net worth and salary. Any woman who tells you any different is lying, big time. OK. We’re not saying girls are looking for a meal ticket, but as Marilyn Monroe said in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, a guy being rich is like a girl being pretty. “You wouldn’t marry a girl just because she was pretty, but my goodness doesn’t it help?” And the same thing can definitely be said about a guy with money. Women tend to be into status and luxury. And you can buy more of that if the guy has a healthy chunk in the bank. Diamonds, as Marilyn sang, are a girl’s best friend.

5. Woman: I Have An Attractive Job

Say a woman sits down to write her online profile. In real life, she’s a receptionist at an advertising agency. Sounds respectable enough. Yes. But it’s not s*xy enough. Online, that will probably translate into being a public relations director. After all, she does send Christmas cards to the agency’s clients and update the Facebook page. If men go for power and money, women go for glamour and glitz. In the 1980’s hit film Working Girl, Melanie Griffith lives that kind of lie in real life. She is the poor, hardworking secretary who dreams of making it big. And she ends up making her fantasy real (with a little help from Harrison Ford). She goes from secretary to the posh office. In real life? Not going to happen. Women, it seems, want to be Cinderella after the handsome prince comes along.

4. Man: My Mate George Clooney

Pictures play a big role on any Internet dating site. So, say you’ve found a nice looking guy and you’re running through his profile and pictures. Of course, he’s got a cute one of him with a puppy. And there’s a selfie of him with a celebrity. Or maybe he drops a name or two in his profile, implying, ever so slightly, that he is best buddies with George Clooney. We all know that guys like to feel important. And hanging out with celebrities and/or powerful people (or implying they do) makes them feel like a mover and a shaker. Of course he doesn’t know Clooney. But he thinks pretending he does will make him more attractive to women. And he’s right. Saying you hang with George and Amal will totally turn her on. But why, she keeps saying, can’t I meet them? Why indeed. Try getting out of that one, buddy.

3. Guy: “I’m Into Skydiving And Saving The Whales”

Every dating site will have a space for indicating interests and hobbies. Say you are a guy who works at a bank. You spend your weekends texting friends, drinking beer and watching football on TV. Real hobbies: Texting, drinking beer and watching football. No way is that going to impress the babes out there. So, you invent an idealized you, a guy who is a combination of Action Man and St Jude. It’s like Ben Stiller in 2013’s The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. While the movie has little resemblance to James Thurber’s short story about an ineffectual little man who is lost in a world of heroic daydreams, Stiller plays Walter Mitty, an ordinary man who imagines he can do great things.

2. Woman: I Am Fun, Loving And Passionate

So describe yourself, the online site says. Guys, as we have seen, will do a Walter Mitty and become Superman. Women go for things like happy, fun, loving and passionate. Passionate? That’s a kind of coded way of saying “I like to do it”. And it’s almost certainly something of a lie. Girls think that guys want a girl who is hot to trot. And, man, they are so right. So saying she is fun, loving and passionate is a way of telling a prospective date that she’s up for anything. But, only thing is, she probably isn’t. Let’s call a spade a spade: It’s false advertising. It’s like Meg Ryan’s org*sm in When Harry Met Sally. It is a total fake. File it alongside things like “I like cuddling on the sofa” or “I am into public displays of affection”. Not going to happen…

1. Woman: 42 Is The New 32

More than thirty years ago, Newsweek got into hot water by saying that a woman over 40 was more likely to get killed by terrorism than get married. As Rosie O’Donnell said in Sleepless in Seattle, “it’s not true. But it feels true.” And nobody feels it more than an over-40 woman. Men tend to want young, attractive women on their arm. Men sometimes add an inch or two to their height and a zero or two to their salaries. For the chicks, the numero uno lie told by women (well, after weight) is about their age. And 40 is the biggie they want to avoid. So, women over 40 will say they are in their 30’s. As we’ve seen, they will dig out old pictures and post them as recent. If they aren’t too greedy and if they don’t shave off too many years, they might get away with it. Or, they might run into a terrorist.

Sources: huffingtonpost.com, eharmony.com, popsugar.com, telegraph.co.uk, nytimes.com